Teen Smoking

Anonymous
My 15 y.o. DD is obsessed with wanting to smoke cigarettes or vaping. She had a puff or two with a friend of a friend over the summer and it’s been an uphill battle monitoring her, talking about it, explaining how dangerous it is, etc. She actively looks for friends who smoke and thinks there are safe alternatives. During a recent check-up with her doctor she told the doc that she doesn’t believe smoking is bad. It seems that all we talk about is smoking. I’m desperately seeking help from anyone who has or is going through this right now.
Anonymous
It will severely limit her dating pool, especially in college and after. And, quitting will make her fat. That's why so many boomers are fat.
Anonymous
So, better to quit now before quitting = fat
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So, better to quit now before quitting = fat

Not to mention wrinkles and premature aging of the skin. Just show her pictures of smokers with terrible skin and smoker’s lines.
Anonymous
She had a puff or two and now she’s obsessed? I think she’s had more than 2 puffs. The fact that she’s talking to you and her doctor about it so directly sounds like she’s just trying to be contrarian.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It will severely limit her dating pool, especially in college and after. And, quitting will make her fat. That's why so many boomers are fat.


Which college is that? Vaping is huge in college.
Anonymous
We went through a smoking phase with my son. Honestly, there really isn’t much you can do to control it. I never gave him money because I don’t want my money spent on smoking and vaping. After awhile we just made agreements on the parameters. Never in our cars. Not on our property. If he smoked clothes had to be left in the garage and he had to immediately shower and brush his teeth. And he couldn’t bring smoking materials into the house.

Basically, I took the stance that I didn’t like it. I thought it was stupid. I also thought it was hurtful to me because my mom died of smoking related illnesses so smoking by my family triggered me. But he was old enough to make the choice and if he was willing to follow our agreed upon parameters, then he was free to make his own bad choices. It was better than fighting a battle I couldn’t win and living with constant conflict.

Kids know it’s dangerous and addictive. Repeating it and fighting about it isn’t going to change their decision. What surprised me was how many people were willing to give my son smoking materials when he had no money to pay for it. After he got a job, that was different. But before, I was shocked.
Anonymous
Take their phones if they test positive on the urine nicotine tests. You can do them at home.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Take their phones if they test positive on the urine nicotine tests. You can do them at home.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It will severely limit her dating pool, especially in college and after. And, quitting will make her fat. That's why so many boomers are fat.


It will when she is older, sadly not at this age. Vaping is THE thing to experiment with at this age and they will vape pot too (and it's not your grandma's pot, it can be laced with all sorts of things). It's a tough battle because they don't care about long term consequences at this age. You can show her articles and videos about the damage and how at least in the early days it was more of a covid risk, but not sure if it will do much. They need to make a video with Harry Styles and various icons who can appeal to hetero, homosexual and gender fluid teens and people who got really ill from vaping as some sort of way to discourage. Otherwise with my teen I make clear calmly why I am opposed, but that I know I can't attack a camera to him and be everywhere so I have to trust him to make health decisions. I also make it clear there will be consequences from me, but once he can support himself he will be free to make any unhealthy choices he wants even though i will worry about him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Take their phones if they test positive on the urine nicotine tests. You can do them at home.


Taking phones is definitely a way to punish because so many are obsessed with their phones and it's their whole life. The sad thing is you may need to watch your child pee. My friend's son was a pro at faking tests and even got urine from a classmate to use, I kid you not.
Anonymous
Most teens don’t smoke, they vape. Even kids you would never think would ever touch nicotine. Addicted.
Anonymous
Smoking kills at least 50% of the people who smoke from smoking related illness. It killed ALL of my aunts in terrorizing ways over years, including one who had quit for 10 years and still got lung cancer.

It's a nasty habit, it turns your teeth and gums grey, your fingers and skin yellow. it gives you premature wrinkles.

The habit is very expensive and the government is only going to continue to add more taxes on cigarettes.

The cigarette (and now most vape) companies use predatory tactics to lure in young smokers and attempt to make them life time customers. Their ads are deceptive and treat the consumer like they're idiots who are easily fooled and naive. And all of them have a history of being untruthful about the ingredients, withholding carcinogenic information and allowing people to die in order to make a profit. Cigarette companies are the ultimate "capitalistic" machine. All they want is your money, over and over again, and will do anything to get it.

Go for the aesthetic, go for the medical/health scare, go for the economic, go for the anti-capitalist, stick it to the man tactic. TRY ANYTHING. Even show her those sad anti cigarette ads on YouTube of people with voice boxes. I am from Richmond, when I was a kid people took their children down to MCV hospital where in the lobby was an exhibit of a healthy lung next to a diseased grey lung from smoking (and this is the land of Phillip Morris) and you were told "see, this is what happens when you smoke, so don't smoke, ever."

Get her off this addiction now. Good luck.

Anonymous
This sounds a little like a kid with autism to me, due to the obsessive quality. But, I would absolutely test for nicotine and take away the phone. You can give her a flip phone for emergencies. Until she matures, you have to just ban it outright.
Anonymous
Grounded and no phone. Indefinitely. Smoking is totally unacceptable to us.
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