Asked guy for exclusivity- thoughts about his response?

[Anonymous]

A man (39yo) and I (38yo) have been dating (proper dates a few times per week) for the past 2.5 months. Recently, we started having sex.

The other night I asked him if he was dating or seeing anyone else and he said no, but that he had "met a few people a few weeks ago."

I asked if they had slept together and he said no. I told him that I wouldn't feel comfortable remaining intimate unless we were exclusive. He said, "that sounds reasonable."

I was fine in the moment but after reflecting on it, I'm not crazy about it. I guess I'm disappointed that a) he didn't bring it up first, and that b) he didn't seem overly enthusiastic about it when I did.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I let this go?

[Anonymous]

If it was important to you, why bring it up after sleeping with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was important to you, why bring it up after sleeping with him?

A lot of women want to see if they are sexually compatible before agreeing to exclusivity, just like men do. If they are, they can proceed with having the conversation.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you're being too sensitive. His response was good. Proceed happily with this guy.

[Anonymous]

Did the conversation have the intended effect? Are you now exclusive?

Get over the Hallmark, Rom Com stuff in your head. You have different views /timelines about sex and exclusivity, so he didn’t bring it up. It was important to you, so you did. He agreed with your concern.

No need to make drama where there is none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the conversation have the intended effect? Are you now exclusive?

Get over the Hallmark, Rom Com stuff in your head. You have different views /timelines about sex and exclusivity, so he didn’t bring it up. It was important to you, so you did. He agreed with your concern.

No need to make drama where there is none.

OP: we are now exclusive, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the conversation have the intended effect? Are you now exclusive?

Get over the Hallmark, Rom Com stuff in your head. You have different views /timelines about sex and exclusivity, so he didn’t bring it up. It was important to you, so you did. He agreed with your concern.

No need to make drama where there is none.

Just like the "should I watch a video my bf sent me" thread, some women just cannot live without creating or profligating drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the conversation have the intended effect? Are you now exclusive?

Get over the Hallmark, Rom Com stuff in your head. You have different views /timelines about sex and exclusivity, so he didn’t bring it up. It was important to you, so you did. He agreed with your concern.

No need to make drama where there is none.

Just like the "should I watch a video my bf sent me" thread, some women just cannot live without creating or profligating drama.

It's not drama to want to protect yourself from getting hurt down the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did the conversation have the intended effect? Are you now exclusive?

Get over the Hallmark, Rom Com stuff in your head. You have different views /timelines about sex and exclusivity, so he didn’t bring it up. It was important to you, so you did. He agreed with your concern.

No need to make drama where there is none.

Just like the "should I watch a video my bf sent me" thread, some women just cannot live without creating or profligating drama.

It's not drama to want to protect yourself from getting hurt down the line.

? I don’t even understand this.

You stated a need / preference.
He made an agreement that validated your preference, and accommodated it in the relationship.

If you want to not get hurt down the line, don’t put yourself into a relationship at all. There are never guarantees.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds high maintenance.

She asks teh guy for something, gets her desired result, and is still annoyed by it.

[Anonymous]

It’s normal to want your guy to be as excited or into something as you are. Your feelings are understandable. He agreed without hesitation. That’s good enough!

[Anonymous]

reminds me of when Charlotte said "We should get married" to her first dh and he said "Alrighty."

You should probably follow up on this conversation with him and see if you're bf/gf or what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:reminds me of when Charlotte said "We should get married" to her first dh and he said "Alrighty."

You should probably follow up on this conversation with him and see if you're bf/gf or what.

I like this plan. Just keep escalating bit by bit and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man (39yo) and I (38yo) have been dating (proper dates a few times per week) for the past 2.5 months. Recently, we started having sex.

The other night I asked him if he was dating or seeing anyone else and he said no, but that he had "met a few people a few weeks ago."

I asked if they had slept together and he said no. I told him that I wouldn't feel comfortable remaining intimate unless we were exclusive. He said, "that sounds reasonable."

I was fine in the moment but after reflecting on it, I'm not crazy about it. I guess I'm disappointed that a) he didn't bring it up first, and that b) he didn't seem overly enthusiastic about it when I did.

Am I being too sensitive? Should I let this go?

Did he even say he wanted to be exclusive? Sounds like he said what you wanted was reasonable and didn’t commit to what he wanted. Maybe I’m mishearing.

[Anonymous]

I’d be concerned about it. I want someone who is a “hell yes” about me, not a “that’s reasonable”.

But, I have no filter when it comes to men anymore, so I wouldn’t be shy about bringing it up again. “Hey, I wanted to discuss the other night. What is it that you want? Do you want to be exclusive, or are you just going along with it?”