What age going home alone?

[Anonymous]

My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

[Anonymous]

We just let my 9 year old start coming home alone for 20-30 minutes, a couple times a week. He was complaining that he was the oldest kid in aftercare. That may be affected by the number of work from home parents right now though. We haven’t had any issues, but he’s a real rule follower type of kid.

[Anonymous]

I'd absolutely let my 10yo do that. My 8yo is another story, though, and I'm not sure I could trust the two of them together.

But that's an individual temperment thing, and you know your kids best.

[Anonymous]

Is there aftercare available at the school?

It also depends on how far away the school is, whether it involves crossing major arterials, and whether the school has a policy. Ours, for example, lets 5th graders walk home by themselves but otherwise kids have to be picked up by an adult. There are also state laws about how old kids have to be to be left alone or to be left alone with younger siblings present.

[Anonymous]

I would let my kids be alone at home for 30 mins if they got along with each other. I would NOT let them walk home to an empty house at that age and have to let themselves in. I would say 13 and 11 for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

If you are in MD I don’t think that is technically legal. My kids are not that age yet but it is really hard to imagine that working even a few years from now. I do pick my kid up some days but am actually increasing her days at after care because she asked me too. Several of her friends are there so she likes it a lot. I think when they are first adjusting to K (and to a lesser extent the beginning of the new grade each year) it’s nice to come straight home but after that it isn’t as helpful especially if your husband needs to get on the computer etc and can’t play/ take them places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

When they are 10 and 8, that’s legal in Maryland. When they are 9 and 7, it’s illegal. And I would be comfortable with it and 10 and 8 with my kids, personally.

[Anonymous]

It's not dependent on age. It's dependent on how responsible the child is. How well the siblings get along. Will one run inside and lock the other one out? Will they fight and something will wind up broken?

What will be your plan for days when 10 has been invited to a friend's house after school? You won't let them go because 8 needs to be brought home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

If you are in MD I don’t think that is technically legal. My kids are not that age yet but it is really hard to imagine that working even a few years from now. I do pick my kid up some days but am actually increasing her days at after care because she asked me too. Several of her friends are there so she likes it a lot. I think when they are first adjusting to K (and to a lesser extent the beginning of the new grade each year) it’s nice to come straight home but after that it isn’t as helpful especially if your husband needs to get on the computer etc and can’t play/ take them places.

It is actually legal in MD if younger is 8 or older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

When they are 10 and 8, that’s legal in Maryland. When they are 9 and 7, it’s illegal. And I would be comfortable with it and 10 and 8 with my kids, personally.

+1 These ages would be fine depending on temperament. You can’t predict that just yet.

[Anonymous]

Use aftercare.

[Anonymous]

Our school's rule is that fourth graders are allowed to get off the bus without an adult there, and if they have younger siblings then those siblings can get off the bus without the adult as well. We have people in the neighborhood who have their 10 and 8 year olds get off the bus and go home by themselves for a couple of hours before the parents get there. The kids are always trying to come home with other kids and eat dinner at other people's houses because their parents don't get home until a lot later. Not my monkeys, not my circus (except for when they try to come home with my kids). To me, that's too young, but you're talking 30 minutes, not multiple hours, so it's probably fine.

[Anonymous]

I would be ok with this in theory but to me it really depends on the neighborhood, especially the pedestrian safety issue, how many other adults are home on the street at the time. If the street is super quiet until rush hour, I’d be more hesitant than one with nannies, retirees or SAHMs in the near vicinity.

[Anonymous]

Check in with the school too. Ours has a specific policy about when children can be released to siblings that goes by grade year not age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older child starts K in the fall. I’m quite sad to be losing the 7:30-5 hours we currently use daycare for. Husband and I are currently debating if I take a pay cut to be closer to home (I’m a teacher so moving districts) for school drop off/pick up or we scale back my husbands business so he can do it. Trying to think about the decision as what we need to do for x amount of years. Older child has a sibling that is 2 years behind in school.

When DC is 10 can they walk with DC who is 8 and be home alone for about 30 minutes until I get there? I know it may seem crazy to think this far ahead but it makes the decision easier for me if we are thinking about a solution that will work for 5 years (which doesn’t feel like forever.) I think it could also help my husband in deciding to scale back his work if we were thinking about a specific time frame.

I wouldn't be okay with my 10 and 8 year old doing that, and they are both relatively responsible and get along well. I would be okay leaving them for 30 m alone but it would make me nervous. I live in a city much more dangerous than DC though, but since they haven't really grown up that way it's hard to imagine doing it.