Husband and I are at odds over DD's eating
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Anonymous
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Our 4yo only eats breakfast-ish foods. She has never swallowed a bite of meat or fish in her entire life, even during baby led weaning. She is over 99% for height and 65% for weight. DD prefers to serve her "dinner foods" aka meat, starch, veggie that she will not eat and then have her go hungry until she gives in and eats it (she hasn't in the past). I prefer to just give her what she enjoys, she eats it, and we move on.
She eats a rotation/combination of: Greek yogurt Any fruit Omlettes (with any veggies) Beans and toast Oatmeal Veggie and sweet potato hash as long as it's served with another breakfast item Smoothies with any fruits and veggies Homemade banana oat flax break Toast with anything on it- PB, almond butter, jelly, or avocado Hard boiled eggs Homemade pancakes of any kind- sweet potato, berry, zucchini, etc She drinks milk, almond milk, ripple (whichever we have on hand) and water Dh also gets annoyed that she won't eat any kid food- chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza, etc. I will admit that could be difficult when away from home, but we haven't taken her to a restaurant or anything since covid anyway. Is it worth pressing her to widen her food choices or just let it be |
Anonymous
| Look up Kids Eat in Color |
Anonymous
| You really don't want to make meals a battleground. But nor do you want to "give in" after she throws a fit. Instead, offer a range of food that you are eating/want her to try and food that you know she'll eat. I think you'll find that when you offer but don't pressure and she knows there's something for her to eat, she'll be more amenable to trying new food. |
Anonymous
Everyone recommends this but I found it completely unhelpful for my picky 4yo. Ymmv. |
Anonymous
| I would do a middle ground. Server her regular dinner foods that she will not eat, BUT include one thing from your list of food she likes every night, so she can eat that. She won't go hungry, but with the food always on the plate (small amounts obviously, you don't want to waste a full plate of food), one day, she just might take a bite of something. |
Anonymous
| My DH does this too; he is always pushing DS to try things like hot dogs. Also treats and candy. It is so incredibly stupid. I just tell him it is a blessing that he doesn't like this kind of food and why are you pushing him to make unhealthy choices. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like she is a budding vegetarian.
You can add veggies slowly. I have a picky eater. We bought 1/4 cup tasting bowls and started with one leaf of spinach. Once he could eat that before dinner, we added a second leaf. And built it up to a salad amount. Added cucumber and carrots the same way. The roasted broccoli. roasted brussels sprouts..... Always have a tasting bowl to eat before dinner. So you can add various foods - slowly they will added up to more variety. She is actually starting with a decent variety of food with grains, eggs, fruits, legumes... |
Anonymous
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I’d read some Ellen Satter on the subject. At the rate you’re going, you’ll either be a short order cook or eat breakfast for dinner as a family through her childhood. Neither is a good idea.
Around that age I started doing a modified Ellen Satter approach. I’d have something on the table my child would like and and offer reasonably kid-friendly foods. For foods he didn’t like (usually a vegetable), I told him it was his choice, but if he wanted dessert, he had to have a couple of bites. I didn’t force him, so it was his decision. Most of the time he wanted a cookie more than he feared the carrots  . And I was flexible. He was willing to eat the stem of the broccoli, not the floret, so that’s all he had to eat. It worked for us.
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Anonymous
| She sounds like a natural vegetarian. I had a cousin who was like this as a kid. I think your husband is wrong for pushing foods on her that she doesn't want to eat. The list of food you posted is nutritionally sound. And as for kid foods - all that stuff if crap, so I am baffled as to why your H even cares if he eats it. He sounds controlling. |
Anonymous
Agree. It’s useless for truly picky eaters. |
Anonymous
| I think what she eats is fine nutritionally. She is getting plenty of protein from eggs/beans/nut butters. My food goal is for my kid to eat healthy nutritious food as much as possible. My Mum in England had criticized my kids dinners because saying “ it’s not a dinner” because she maybe had cheese, crackers, nuts and fruit… because in her eyes it needs to be hot to be considered dinner. I would try and get your kid to try more dinner type foods for when you are away from home but I certainly wouldn’t force it. |
Anonymous
** cares if She eats it |
Anonymous
| For a variety of reasons I do not follow the Ellen Satter approach, but I think, OP, you would do well to look into it. I don't know if this would be persuasive to your husband, but the American Academy of Pediatrics endorses it. There is a lot of solid research to suggest that you should offer your kids things you know they will like and you should not "force" them to eat anything. |
Anonymous
| It would be better if she ate a wider variety of things, an it will make your life easier in the long run. Remember that it takes many many tries to get kids comfortable with new foods. So keep offering and trying and encouraging tasting; I think you should push a little with some healthy choices instead of unhealthy ones though. Hopefully DH will be on board with that. |
Anonymous
She has a picky eater program: Better Bites (I think that's the name). |