Dealing with a hoarder

[Anonymous]

One of my parents was a hoarder. Maybe both.

Now it’s time to clean out the elderly person’s house and hoarder sibling is hard to deal with. Do I leave them alone to figure it out? Push the issue by hiring a person to clean out house?

Hoarder wants to go through every last receipt and has hauled away a few trash bags of stuff they say they will “donate” but never do. Should I stop caring?

[Anonymous]

What's your plan for the house- I am guessing you want to get it cleaned up and put it on the market? Is the elderly person now deceased, and if so was the house left to both of you? Is the mortgage paid off?

If it were me I would try to set a timeline like "you have X number of months to go through everything and then I am hiring a service. We will put the house on the market on Y date".

With a hoarder sibling they will keep stretching out the "clean out" and will eventually start hoarding stuff in your parent's house and there will be disrepair. You may be obligated to help fix/pay and will be a money/energy/time suck.

[Anonymous]

Is the hoarder sibling your brother/sister or your aunt/uncle? Are you putting the house on the market? Set a deadline and handle the donation bags yourself.

[Anonymous]

Get a dumpster. Once that stuff is dumped in the dumpster it's hard to get it out, and then the dumpster gets hauled away. Relying on someone to sort through multiple trash bags and haul it themselves to goodwill, the dump, wherever is a recipe for disaster. I know, my parents are hoarders.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that it depends on the timeline. Set a firm deadline for the hoarder sibling to take what they want, and then you will go through the rest to sell/donate/trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP that it depends on the timeline. Set a firm deadline for the hoarder sibling to take what they want, and then you will go through the rest to sell/donate/trash.

Also I guess this depends on who is the executor of the estate. I’m assuming it’s you and you have the power to clean out and sell the house.

[Anonymous]

Off-topic but this thread reminded me how much I am dreading the eventual clean-out of my elderly parents' house. FML.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the hoarder sibling your brother/sister or your aunt/uncle? Are you putting the house on the market? Set a deadline and handle the donation bags yourself.

Thanks.

Parent is still alive and owns the house but lives somewhere else. Hoarder is sibling.

Yes, parent wants to sell.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Off-topic but this thread reminded me how much I am dreading the eventual clean-out of my elderly parents' house. FML.

Would you like my dad to talk to them? He's ruthless.

[Anonymous]

Who holds the POA to do this for your parents? If you do, then hire a junk service to come in and clean it all out. And be prepared for your hoarder sibling to cut you off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the hoarder sibling your brother/sister or your aunt/uncle? Are you putting the house on the market? Set a deadline and handle the donation bags yourself.

Thanks.

Parent is still alive and owns the house but lives somewhere else. Hoarder is sibling.

Yes, parent wants to sell.

OP

Which person’s sibling? Whom has your parent authorized to clean out and sell the house?

[Anonymous]

There is a hoarding task force in moco, maybe there is one in your area.

Here is the link to the one in Gaithersburg.

https://www.gaithersburgmd.gov/services/community-services/hoarding-task-force

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Off-topic but this thread reminded me how much I am dreading the eventual clean-out of my elderly parents' house. FML.

Same. But, I'm an only child and my hoarder parent is single. I think that will make it easier. If she dies while still living there, I'll hire a company to sort through it for me. If she needs to move to a different living situation, that will be the most difficult scenario, stuff-wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the hoarder sibling your brother/sister or your aunt/uncle? Are you putting the house on the market? Set a deadline and handle the donation bags yourself.

Thanks.

Parent is still alive and owns the house but lives somewhere else. Hoarder is sibling.

Yes, parent wants to sell.

OP

NP. It is still unclear if the hoarder sibling is your sibling or your parent's sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Off-topic but this thread reminded me how much I am dreading the eventual clean-out of my elderly parents' house. FML.

Same. The basement is . . . ugh.