Baby crying with night nanny

[Anonymous]

We hired a night nurse for our 2 month old baby to help us get some rest. She has previously been cosleeping with us and nursing to sleep — not the original plan but the only way we found to get any sleep. Our baby spent most of the first five hours with the night nanny crying (often quite hard), with maybe one 45 minute stretch of sleep.

Is this typical? I knew it would be an adjustment for her so was prepared for some crying but not this much. It’s the worst night of sleep I’ve had since she was born! Any advice from those who have used night nannies?

[Anonymous]

I would think the point is for you to not hear the baby cry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would think the point is for you to not hear the baby cry?

OP here - So other people just put them on a different floor of the house and don’t worry what is happening to the baby? Her nursery and our room are on the same floor. I guess we could have moved the baby to the basement but wanted to have some idea what was going on. The issue was less about hearing the crying and more about whether this much crying should be happening.

[Anonymous]

If the baby is screaming all night, you’d be better off putting them in the crib and CIO. What’s the point of paying for a night nanny?

[Anonymous]

This is like a cleaning person who tracks mud inside your house and leaves everything dirty. Try a different night nurse or sleep train.

[Anonymous]

I’m due in January and hired a night nurse who insisted on starting the day we come home from the hospital. The nanny also asked to be on a different floor so she doesn’t disrupt us making bottles, etc. in the middle of the night.

How many nights has the nanny been over? It sounds like the problem is it’s a new sleeping situation and they are getting used to each other. I don’t think you can make a big change like this at 8 weeks and expect the baby to sleep immediately. I’d give it a few more nights.

[Anonymous]

What exactly is the night nurse doing when the baby is crying?

Holding and trying to soothe her or letting her lie in the crib and cry it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the night nurse doing when the baby is crying?

Holding and trying to soothe her or letting her lie in the crib and cry it out?

Yes, this is the pertinent question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the night nurse doing when the baby is crying?

Holding and trying to soothe her or letting her lie in the crib and cry it out?

Yes, this is the pertinent question.

My question as well. If she’s trying to sleep train the baby, that’s not okay. The baby is too young. Something doesn’t seem right here.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - we have a night nanny. Some thoughts based on our experience. It sounds like the transition from cosleeping to the crib might be an issue here, too, perhaps more than the night nanny. Maybe give your baby a few days to adjust? Given that there's an adjustment here, I'd instruct the night nanny to hold/pacify the baby as she adjusts and learns how to sleep in the crib on her own. Maybe the night nanny is letting her fuss/cry as part of some sleep training thing, but for me, getting the baby comfortable and feeling secure sleeping outside of your bed would be step 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly is the night nurse doing when the baby is crying?

Holding and trying to soothe her or letting her lie in the crib and cry it out?

Yes, this is the pertinent question.

My question as well. If she’s trying to sleep train the baby, that’s not okay. The baby is too young. Something doesn’t seem right here.

I agree.

We had a night nanny and never heard crying - and we listened at the door at times! (I had separation anxiety…)

At that age the baby should be soothed by simple holding and rocking and it’s the nanny’s job to hold and rock the baby all night if necessary. If she’s not, perhaps she thinks her job is actually to sleep train. Have a real conversation with her and find out what she’s doing, or hire another night nanny.

[Anonymous]

I think you set the baby and nanny up for failure instead of success. You coslept for 2 months and then switched to crib and nanny at the same time? This is on you. So no it’s not normal but you set it up to be inevitable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you set the baby and nanny up for failure instead of success. You coslept for 2 months and then switched to crib and nanny at the same time? This is on you. So no it’s not normal but you set it up to be inevitable.

This. Talk to the nanny. Explain this issue and ask her how she thinks you should go forward.

[Anonymous]

During the 5 hours of crying you didn't get up to see what was happening? You just let your baby cry with a stranger?

[Anonymous]

You took your 2 month old from cosleeping with her mom to spending the night with a total stranger. I’m not sure what you expected. Put yourself in your baby’s shoes. I get that you’re tired - I have 2 kids - but no, you don’t cosleep for 2 months and then just hand your baby to a stranger as the solution to your problems. That seems very cruel to me.