Snarky posters

[Anonymous]

I am always a little taken aback when I come across a post that is either snarky or downright rude. I don't get it. Aren't we supposed to be supportive of one another? I was wondering if there is anything we could do to try to bring up the morale on the board here and weed out the less supportive comments. I mean since we are all TTC'ing, I imagine we can be a group of pretty pissed off, less than happy ladies (at least for part of each month). That being said, I don't think we should take it out on other posters. So if someone posts something that you think is a stupid question (one I recently saw was someone apparently was offended when someone asked what the best way to conceive a boy was), then could we agree that just not responding is the best option (instead of calling the person out and making them feel bad)? Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

What fun would that be? Get some thick skin and join the party.

[Anonymous]

Have two separate forums -TTC and Infertility. I think that would make everyone happier.

[Anonymous]

Wait, so from the last two posts I gather -- 1) People actually enjoy being rude to one another and 2) TTC'ers and Infertility posters cannot peacefully coexist. Consider me corrected. Didn't realize people got some fun out of being snarky to other women. Count me out ladies. But have fun virtually picking on each other....

[Anonymous]

I am always a little taken aback when I come across a post that is either snarky or downright rude. I don't get it. Aren't we supposed to be supportive of one another? I was wondering if there is anything we could do to try to bring up the morale on the board here and weed out the less supportive comments. I mean since we are all TTC'ing, I imagine we can be a group of pretty pissed off, less than happy ladies (at least for part of each month). That being said, I don't think we should take it out on other posters. So if someone posts something that you think is a stupid question (one I recently saw was someone apparently was offended when someone asked what the best way to conceive a boy was), then could we agree that just not responding is the best option (instead of calling the person out and making them feel bad)? Thoughts?

Amen, sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so from the last two posts I gather -- 1) People actually enjoy being rude to one another and 2) TTC'ers and Infertility posters cannot peacefully coexist. Consider me corrected. Didn't realize people got some fun out of being snarky to other women. Count me out ladies. But have fun virtually picking on each other....

I'm 14:07, and I stand by my suggestion. I think women who haven't dealt with infertility have plenty of valid TTC questions. I also think for women going through IVF and dealing with other infertility issues, seeing threads with people who are able to conceive without intervention can be jarring. Both sides can get defensive and snarky. Why not cut to the chase, and separate the issues. Asking about what position to use to conceive a boy versus what IVF protocol someone has done are two entirely different points of reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so from the last two posts I gather -- 1) People actually enjoy being rude to one another and 2) TTC'ers and Infertility posters cannot peacefully coexist. Consider me corrected. Didn't realize people got some fun out of being snarky to other women. Count me out ladies. But have fun virtually picking on each other....

I'm 14:07, and I stand by my suggestion. I think women who haven't dealt with infertility have plenty of valid TTC questions. I also think for women going through IVF and dealing with other infertility issues, seeing threads with people who are able to conceive without intervention can be jarring. Both sides can get defensive and snarky. Why not cut to the chase, and separate the issues. Asking about what position to use to conceive a boy versus what IVF protocol someone has done are two entirely different points of reference.

I agree with you and your suggestion.

[Anonymous]

I meant I agree with 14.07 and her suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, so from the last two posts I gather -- 1) People actually enjoy being rude to one another and 2) TTC'ers and Infertility posters cannot peacefully coexist. Consider me corrected. Didn't realize people got some fun out of being snarky to other women. Count me out ladies. But have fun virtually picking on each other....

Who's being snarky now?

[Anonymous]

I've spent a lot of time on this board and the only time I've read snarky comments were the two times people posted about how to try to a child of a certain sex. Otherwise, I think this is a very supportive place for an anonymous board (hope that didn't sound snarky).

[Anonymous]

I am not being snarky - OP here. I just can't believe people really think it's fun to be rude. I suppose the anonymous nature of the board makes it easier. But, I just figure if everyone on the board is TTC, then you know how touchy a subject it is and you know how depressed/anxious it can make you. So why be mean to other ladies in the same situation. Perhaps I am too polly anna in my thinking. And yes, I agree having two separate sections for TTC and Infertility makes sense since the topics can differ. I will try to remain snark free! (said in a not snarky way).

[Anonymous]

And on that note, AF just came. F#$K.

[Anonymous]

I'm 14:07, and I stand by my suggestion. I think women who haven't dealt with infertility have plenty of valid TTC questions. I also think for women going through IVF and dealing with other infertility issues, seeing threads with people who are able to conceive without intervention can be jarring. Both sides can get defensive and snarky. Why not cut to the chase, and separate the issues. Asking about what position to use to conceive a boy versus what IVF protocol someone has done are two entirely different points of reference.

Actually, I think this is the least snarky and most supportive board on DCUM. Have you ever beenon the nanny board? There are some real looney tunes over there!

But as to your suggestion, I don't agree that there should be separate TTC and infertility boards. How do you know when you've crossed the line? Does infertility only mean ART? Lots of women struggling with infertility are not using ART, for various reasons (lack of fund or insurance, need to take a break emotionally, etc.). It took me over a year to achieve my current (still very early but I'm hopeful) pregnancy - after 2 early losses & 3 failed medicated cycles - and I got pregnant on an unmedicated "break" cycle. I post here all the time, and I'm not sure which of your two proposed forums I'd belong in. Oddly, throughout all of this time, I've never labeled myself as someone with infertility. My RE might beg to differ (isn't pretty much every patient, by definition, dealing with infertility issues?) but I just didn't perceive myself as being in that category, ever - call it denial, emotional self-preservation, foolishness or whatever you want to. My point is just that there's not a clear delineation between TTC in general and infertility issues, and there is a lot of wisdom that can be shared both ways, and that might be lost if there were an attempt to separate the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've spent a lot of time on this board and the only time I've read snarky comments were the two times people posted about how to try to a child of a certain sex. Otherwise, I think this is a very supportive place for an anonymous board (hope that didn't sound snarky).

I agree. Have you read the other forums on DCUM? This is by far the nicest and supportive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm 14:07, and I stand by my suggestion. I think women who haven't dealt with infertility have plenty of valid TTC questions. I also think for women going through IVF and dealing with other infertility issues, seeing threads with people who are able to conceive without intervention can be jarring. Both sides can get defensive and snarky. Why not cut to the chase, and separate the issues. Asking about what position to use to conceive a boy versus what IVF protocol someone has done are two entirely different points of reference.

Actually, I think this is the least snarky and most supportive board on DCUM. Have you ever beenon the nanny board? There are some real looney tunes over there!

But as to your suggestion, I don't agree that there should be separate TTC and infertility boards. How do you know when you've crossed the line? Does infertility only mean ART? Lots of women struggling with infertility are not using ART, for various reasons (lack of fund or insurance, need to take a break emotionally, etc.). It took me over a year to achieve my current (still very early but I'm hopeful) pregnancy - after 2 early losses & 3 failed medicated cycles - and I got pregnant on an unmedicated "break" cycle. I post here all the time, and I'm not sure which of your two proposed forums I'd belong in. Oddly, throughout all of this time, I've never labeled myself as someone with infertility. My RE might beg to differ (isn't pretty much every patient, by definition, dealing with infertility issues?) but I just didn't perceive myself as being in that category, ever - call it denial, emotional self-preservation, foolishness or whatever you want to. My point is just that there's not a clear delineation between TTC in general and infertility issues, and there is a lot of wisdom that can be shared both ways, and that might be lost if there were an attempt to separate the two.

Infertility is not limited to women undergoing ART. By most RE's definitions, it means no success after a year of trying. Typically, you aren't seeing an RE unless you have fertility issues.