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Sleeping arrangements w/DH
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Anonymous
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So perhaps I am naive....but I've seen a number of posts lately that reference how women are sleeping in different bedrooms than their DH. Is this common? I would be SO alarmed if this started happening with me and DH! Is this more common than I think? Do people do this and have otherwise normal relationships?
I'm honestly curious! |
Anonymous
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I'm not married, and sleeping next to someone is one of the things I actually enjoy about being in a relationship. BUT I can see how there might be situations where I'd want to sleep separately from a husband.
(1) When I was pregnant, I was having hot flashes and cold spells 17 times a night, and needed about 4 pillows in various places to be comfortable. I wouldn't have blamed a guy for not wanting to be anywhere near that. (2) If I were breast-feeding and co-sleeping and was up multiple times during the night and my husband had to be productive at work the next day, I wouldn't blame him for sleeping in the guest room. (3) If my husband snored or had sleep apnea or another condition that made him a very restless sleeper, I might opt for a separate bedroom. I figure we could have sex and cuddle for a bit, then one of us could move to another room. I imagine that there are couples who sleep separately because they are having marital issues, and that's understandable, but I don't imagine that every couple who sleeps apart has a troubled marriage. |
Anonymous
| My parents have been married for 40 years and ever since my sister moved out about 15 years ago they have been sleeping in separate rooms most of the time. It has to do with comfort and not the state of their relationship. My dad tends to go to bed at 10 and get up at 6, my mom goes to be at 1 and sleep until 9. My mom is large and makes the bed sink down in the middle, which makes it uncomfortable for my dad to sleep. When they travel, or have guests and have to free up a room, they sleep together. |
Anonymous
| MY DH snores like a freight train and, because of it, we sleep in separate rooms. He's been to the doctor, checked for sleep apnea (not it), and has tried a number of sleep aids to stop him from snoring. None have worked. If we didn't sleep in separate rooms, our marriage definitely would be in trouble. I fought the separate rooms thing for a while until we tried it out when our baby was a newborn. It was wonderful because, even with a newborn, I got more sleep than I did with DH. As long as I can get some sleep and, therefore, am not planning his murder at 2am, we have a happy, healthy marriage. |
Anonymous
| We slept in separate bedrooms when our 2nd was a baby with terrible reflux and sleep problems. Now, if one of the kids is sick and comes to our bed, one of us usually moves to another room. Whatever gets everyone the most sleep! |
Anonymous
My DH and I aren't quite there yet, but sometimes I think about it. I use earplugs normally but now I can't b/c i need to hear the baby if he wakes up. So yeah, it might be healthier for our marriage if my husband and I both can sleep. he snores so damn loud that I can't help but get angry. So either I nudge him awake (and he snaps at me for it) hoping to get a brief respite from the snores long enough to beat him to sleep, or I sit and deal and try to sleep through the gale force winds issuing forth through his mouth and nose less than 3 feet from my ears. I get so angry sometimes I want to punch him! I know it's not his fault and it's terrible. The snoring is taking a terrible toll on my marriage and medically, my husband has tried but cannot stop it. So, yeah, sleeping in separate rooms would have to be better than that. But we haven't done it yet because the idea of it makes me sad, which, as I type this, is probably kind of dumb. We'll keep trying other things, but we need to resolve the snoring problem. |
Anonymous
This. Our 2nd is 8mo and teething, so she's been waking up at night. I see no reason for my husband not to get a good nights sleep. I need him to be on in the morning (and he's crankier than the baby if he's tired). |
Anonymous
| I have very mixed feelings about this. My DH also snores like a chainsaw in bed and this can make me crazy sometimes, but I also feel as though we are missing something if we don't sleep together. Many nights he sleeps somewhere else though. |
Anonymous
| I feel sad about it - but my husband snores and I am a very light sleeper - so it works best if we sleep separately. We have a good marriage otherwise. |
Anonymous
| My parents (who have been married for 44 years!)sleep in separate rooms due to my dad's snoring. At first we all worried that they were having marital problems, until my mom pointed out that she gets much better sleep when she doesn't have to sleep through the racket of his snoring. Since we all know how loud he is, that made perfect sense to us! |
Anonymous
| Same as the PPs - DH snores something fierce and I am a light sleeper. Not sure why this is so horrifying to you or would alarm you "SO" much - we have a great marriage. |
Anonymous
This is us, except we do actually sleep in separate rooms occasionally. Logically, I could see what it's fine to sleep separately, but I just can't wrap my head around it. I really, really enjoy waking up and having someone there next to me. I miss that feeling a TON when I wake up alone. Isn't that one of the bonuses of marriage? I wish there was a better solution! |
Anonymous
| DH snores really bad too but I just got used to it. Sleeping together is a bug thing for us. |
Anonymous
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I got used to the snoring too, but it's not all the time so it's not as bad. DH says I sometimes snore too when I'm congested so then it's payback time. I want to sleep in same bed as long as we can but I know couples who sleep apart and they are happy as can be.
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Anonymous
| We do because of snoring and sleep apnea, but I would say that it has definitely put a strain on our relationship. |