Husband chooses pets over me!

[Anonymous]

I feel very strongly that given a choice my DH would choose our pets over me. He brings home dogs without my consent and when I get very upset and give him an attitude he tells me to leave. He wanted me to get cats because I’ve always been a cat person but I really didn’t want anymore at my age but he pushed me and we ended up with 3 kittens from the same litter. That was 7 yrs ago and now one of the cats has started urinating all over the furniture and I want to give her away because the smell is atrocious. He absolutely will not allow it! Fyi cat was vet checked and has no issues. I’m finding it unbearable to live in our home with the smell. He tries to clean it but I still smell it and he says he doesn’t smell anything and that I just don’t love animals like he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel very strongly that given a choice my DH would choose our pets over me. He brings home dogs without my consent and when I get very upset and give him an attitude he tells me to leave. He wanted me to get cats because I’ve always been a cat person but I really didn’t want anymore at my age but he pushed me and we ended up with 3 kittens from the same litter. That was 7 yrs ago and now one of the cats has started urinating all over the furniture and I want to give her away because the smell is atrocious. He absolutely will not allow it! Fyi cat was vet checked and has no issues. I’m finding it unbearable to live in our home with the smell. He tries to clean it but I still smell it and he says he doesn’t smell anything and that I just don’t love animals like he does.

He's right, you should leave.

[Anonymous]

Give the cats away. Don't ask permission, just do it. The cat is probably stressed by living with so many other pets and may improve in a calmer home. It isn't doing anyone a favor to carry on as is.

[Anonymous]

I mean, you can't just give away a pet because it's got medical or other issues. You make a commitment to an animal, plus no one else will want it, either.

That said, it's not cool to bring home more pets without asking your spouse. And his response is to tell you to leave? I'd leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel very strongly that given a choice my DH would choose our pets over me. He brings home dogs without my consent and when I get very upset and give him an attitude he tells me to leave. He wanted me to get cats because I’ve always been a cat person but I really didn’t want anymore at my age but he pushed me and we ended up with 3 kittens from the same litter. That was 7 yrs ago and now one of the cats has started urinating all over the furniture and I want to give her away because the smell is atrocious. He absolutely will not allow it! Fyi cat was vet checked and has no issues. I’m finding it unbearable to live in our home with the smell. He tries to clean it but I still smell it and he says he doesn’t smell anything and that I just don’t love animals like he does.

He's right, you should leave.

I posted the above response but didn't add the reason. I think your negative energy is stressing the cat out. They will all do much better after you leave.

[Anonymous]

replace the furniture, make sure the kitty litter is kept clean and your problem with cat piss evaporates

[Anonymous]

How many pets live in your home right now? A new animal could be the reason your cat is peeing inappropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel very strongly that given a choice my DH would choose our pets over me. He brings home dogs without my consent and when I get very upset and give him an attitude he tells me to leave. He wanted me to get cats because I’ve always been a cat person but I really didn’t want anymore at my age but he pushed me and we ended up with 3 kittens from the same litter. That was 7 yrs ago and now one of the cats has started urinating all over the furniture and I want to give her away because the smell is atrocious. He absolutely will not allow it! Fyi cat was vet checked and has no issues. I’m finding it unbearable to live in our home with the smell. He tries to clean it but I still smell it and he says he doesn’t smell anything and that I just don’t love animals like he does.

Effing disgusting, sounds like you have "sprayers." Gross, and you will never get it out. Your house could even depreciate in value because of this horrific smell that permeates the home. Personally, I'd leave because I couldn't stand it. If you live with it and should presumably be "nose blind" to this odor I can only imagine how horrifying it is to a casual guest.

That said, no one should bring home a pet without a partner's consent at all, but not hearing the dog complaints. IDK, this is a husband problem. He told you to leave so..leave. I am not convinced this is entirely a pet issue or you would be jointly working to resolve pet issues.

[Anonymous]

How many pets do you have???

[Anonymous]

Getting strong troll vibes here.

[Anonymous]

I can tell you grandma chooses her pets over her own grandson. How do we know? Everytime we visit them, they say, we can't go somewhere because they don't allow dogs. We can go here because there's nothing to do for the dogs. We can't go far because we have to feed the cats. Wow! How about nothing to do for your grandson!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you grandma chooses her pets over her own grandson. How do we know? Everytime we visit them, they say, we can't go somewhere because they don't allow dogs. We can go here because there's nothing to do for the dogs. We can't go far because we have to feed the cats. Wow! How about nothing to do for your grandson!

They probably assume that you, as the grandchild's parents are responsible for his care and entertainment. If you want to complain about your mother-in-law, head on out of 'pets' and over to 'family relationships'.

[Anonymous]

I think this belongs in the relationship forum. It's clearly a husband problem, not a pet problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:replace the furniture, make sure the kitty litter is kept clean and your problem with cat piss evaporates

Sure we’ll just throw away 40k every 6 months!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel very strongly that given a choice my DH would choose our pets over me. He brings home dogs without my consent and when I get very upset and give him an attitude he tells me to leave. He wanted me to get cats because I’ve always been a cat person but I really didn’t want anymore at my age but he pushed me and we ended up with 3 kittens from the same litter. That was 7 yrs ago and now one of the cats has started urinating all over the furniture and I want to give her away because the smell is atrocious. He absolutely will not allow it! Fyi cat was vet checked and has no issues. I’m finding it unbearable to live in our home with the smell. He tries to clean it but I still smell it and he says he doesn’t smell anything and that I just don’t love animals like he does.

Effing disgusting, sounds like you have "sprayers." Gross, and you will never get it out. Your house could even depreciate in value because of this horrific smell that permeates the home. Personally, I'd leave because I couldn't stand it. If you live with it and should presumably be "nose blind" to this odor I can only imagine how horrifying it is to a casual guest.

That said, no one should bring home a pet without a partner's consent at all, but not hearing the dog complaints. IDK, this is a husband problem. He told you to leave so..leave. I am not convinced this is entirely a pet issue or you would be jointly working to resolve pet issues.

Op here. Exactly! He is definitely nose blind. I did tell him about our 2 million dollar deprecating and I’m not exaggerating. It’s horrible and now I can’t get the smell out of my nose either.