I am just so burnt out

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny. I have been with my current family almost 7 years, since the first kid was born. I work a split shift, start the day at 6:30am, and at 8pm. I don’t get paid all the hours in between but I am on call for most of them. I get paid for 55 hours per week. Summers a d holidays (and all through COVID school closures) I work all those hours.

I do everything for the kids: make all their food, schedule all their appointments, do all their laundry, keep their toys tidy, buy all their groceries and buy clothes when they outgrow last season. The parents (between the two of them) see the kids maybe 20 hours over the course of a week—including weekends. They constantly micromanage everything I do and when I told them I was underpaid (I make $25 per hour), they said that all their friends pay their nannies the same—I am sure they do! I am also sure their friends’ nannies are not doing everything that I do. I leave a spotless house Friday nights and arrive home to a mess and then they tell me that I am not organized or tidy. I should just leave and find a job making the same amount with no split shift and fewer duties but I am the kids’ primary caregiver. I wish the parents were interested in seeing how much I do and showing some appreciation.

[Anonymous]

That is such a sad situation OP

[Anonymous]

How old is the youngest? Maybe you should transition to a new job or something when they turn 3. I think you could get a much better situation.

[Anonymous]

They are not interested and will NEVER appreciate you until you are gone.

Find a family that is the right fit for you. You matter in this as well.

Enjoy a fresh start with a new family with hours that are a better fit. A nanny that is not burnt out will be better for the kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the youngest? Maybe you should transition to a new job or something when they turn 3. I think you could get a much better situation.

The youngest is in kindergarten. They are both at school all day and I still see way more of them than their actual parents. I worry that if I move on the parents won’t step up to the plate. They will just hire two nannies if they need to and still never see the kids and then the poor kids will have no one who knows and loves them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a nanny. I have been with my current family almost 7 years, since the first kid was born. I work a split shift, start the day at 6:30am, and at 8pm. I don’t get paid all the hours in between but I am on call for most of them. I get paid for 55 hours per week. Summers a d holidays (and all through COVID school closures) I work all those hours.

I do everything for the kids: make all their food, schedule all their appointments, do all their laundry, keep their toys tidy, buy all their groceries and buy clothes when they outgrow last season. The parents (between the two of them) see the kids maybe 20 hours over the course of a week—including weekends. They constantly micromanage everything I do and when I told them I was underpaid (I make $25 per hour), they said that all their friends pay their nannies the same—I am sure they do! I am also sure their friends’ nannies are not doing everything that I do. I leave a spotless house Friday nights and arrive home to a mess and then they tell me that I am not organized or tidy. I should just leave and find a job making the same amount with no split shift and fewer duties but I am the kids’ primary caregiver. I wish the parents were interested in seeing how much I do and showing some appreciation.

Find a new family. This one is taking advantage of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the youngest? Maybe you should transition to a new job or something when they turn 3. I think you could get a much better situation.

The youngest is in kindergarten. They are both at school all day and I still see way more of them than their actual parents. I worry that if I move on the parents won’t step up to the plate. They will just hire two nannies if they need to and still never see the kids and then the poor kids will have no one who knows and loves them.

I hate to be blunt but that is not your problem.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. You need to find another position and no split shifts!! But leave on a great note with the parents so you can still visit or babysit the kids. I know you love them and they undoubtedly love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is the youngest? Maybe you should transition to a new job or something when they turn 3. I think you could get a much better situation.

The youngest is in kindergarten. They are both at school all day and I still see way more of them than their actual parents. I worry that if I move on the parents won’t step up to the plate. They will just hire two nannies if they need to and still never see the kids and then the poor kids will have no one who knows and loves them.

And that is what they are counting on. You are being paid the same way that people pay tips with compliments. They don't respect you and are using you and your obvious affection for their children. You've developed an attachment that they have neither the desire or time/interest to develop.
At this point the kids are old enough to continue some type of relationship with you if you choose. They will likely have little oversight with a new nanny unless social media is something that's part of your normal job duties.
There are plenty of job opportunities for better pay.

[Anonymous]

You are not underpaid. Find a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The youngest is in kindergarten. They are both at school all day and I still see way more of them than their actual parents. I worry that if I move on the parents won’t step up to the plate. They will just hire two nannies if they need to and still never see the kids and then the poor kids will have no one who knows and loves them.

OP it's not your job to worry about that. I think you should start looking for a new job. Also as the PP said, end on a positive note with the family.

[Anonymous]

Damn my nanny doesn’t do any of those tasks! That stuff might be “invisible work” to the parents. I have four little kids and do all the clothing season/size changes. It takes a ton of time and my husband is completely oblivious! I suggest you either stop doing all that stuff and stick to just caring for the kids, or quit. They won’t see all that you did until they no longer have you.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was typical of nannies to clean up after their charges, and manage their clothing and food. $25 per hour seems very typical around here. Especially if the kids are older.

[Anonymous]

Do you get overtime pay? In my state, you would get 50% more, so 37.5, for any time over 40 hours. Otherwise the agreement would be breaking labor laws.

Sorry to hear you are burnt out. 55 hrs a week is just a lot of work no matter what you’re doing. Maybe it’s time to look into a different position with fewer hours. And Employers’ appreciation goes a long way in creating a good work experience — it’s really stupid of your employers to not understand this basic fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought it was typical of nannies to clean up after their charges, and manage their clothing and food. $25 per hour seems very typical around here. Especially if the kids are older.

I think most nannies help with these tasks. I do them 100%

Before I leave on Fridays I make all their food for the weekend. I arrive on Monday to find all the toys and boys that they used over the weekend left for me. I do 100% of the kids’ laundry. I also do all the parents’ dishes during the week. I even make breakfast and lunch for the parents (I pack them lunches every day). I am the one who reads all the school emails and volunteers and makes sure the kids have the supplies they need and signs up for conferences and afterschool activities and schedules doctor and dentist appointments and fills out school health forms and buys birthday gifts for their friends and write thank-you notes from the kids to grandma and on and on. Basically any aspect of parenting other than paying for stuff is my job.