how long for toddler to adjust to daycare?

[Anonymous]

hello! my 15 month old is starting daycare for the first time. previously had been home with family. he is struggling and crying so much at drop off and pick up.
how much crying is normal? how long does it take to adjust?? struggling over here -

[Anonymous]

15 month old it’s a difficult time to start daycare because of separation anxieties. Generally it can take 2 to 3 weeks. Is he crying through out the day too?

[Anonymous]

I think he is crying off and on during the day. They say that he settles in and is able to participate in the day's activities.

[Anonymous]

I worked in a daycare three years ago when one 18 month old boy cried every day and all day for a solid three weeks. He barely ate and didn’t sleep. I felt so bad for him.

Eventually he settled in and seemed to enjoy it. But seriously, I would have pulled that child out after a week if he were mine.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you shorten his day for a few more months? Crying off and on all day for a long day is worrisome.

[Anonymous]

This is OP- yes, we have been doing half days. I pick him up around noon after lunch, and I plan to keep doing so for as long as he is crying. We finished week one and it was so tough! Especially with COVID, I can’t go back to the classroom and rely on the teachers to tell me how he is doing, but the teachers don’t bring him out either. So I feel like I am constantly trying to ask someone to tell me how he is doing. What I heard today is that he is crying off and on still. He didn’t eat his snack or his lunch. I want to be patient because I know transitions take time, but I don’t know how long. To the prior poster who worked in childcare - did the parent of the child crying all day know their child was crying all day? I feel like I am getting by with little information here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP- yes, we have been doing half days. I pick him up around noon after lunch, and I plan to keep doing so for as long as he is crying. We finished week one and it was so tough! Especially with COVID, I can’t go back to the classroom and rely on the teachers to tell me how he is doing, but the teachers don’t bring him out either. So I feel like I am constantly trying to ask someone to tell me how he is doing. What I heard today is that he is crying off and on still. He didn’t eat his snack or his lunch. I want to be patient because I know transitions take time, but I don’t know how long. To the prior poster who worked in childcare - did the parent of the child crying all day know their child was crying all day? I feel like I am getting by with little information here.

Half days could be making it worse. He doesn't get a chance to get into the routine at daycare and youre interrupting whatver routine they havr if he is leaving and other kids are still there.

[Anonymous]

Our DS started at 17 months. It took him about 1.5 weeks. We thought we’d do 1/2 days the first week but after the first day we ended up doing full days and I think that helped him adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP- yes, we have been doing half days. I pick him up around noon after lunch, and I plan to keep doing so for as long as he is crying. We finished week one and it was so tough! Especially with COVID, I can’t go back to the classroom and rely on the teachers to tell me how he is doing, but the teachers don’t bring him out either. So I feel like I am constantly trying to ask someone to tell me how he is doing. What I heard today is that he is crying off and on still. He didn’t eat his snack or his lunch. I want to be patient because I know transitions take time, but I don’t know how long. To the prior poster who worked in childcare - did the parent of the child crying all day know their child was crying all day? I feel like I am getting by with little information here.

Do you have the option for a smaller place? Maybe in-home? Even thought we have to drop off at the door, we can see the entire play area and we chat with the daycare owner for a few min at pick up to see how his day went.

[Anonymous]

With 1/2 days it will likely take a month to adjust. I would try full days for two weeks straight and see if he is more settled by the end of week two. Do they send any pictures or provide daily reports at all?

[Anonymous]

I would try waiting until he's two or three and see if he can handle it better. No reason IN MY OPINION to let a child be miserable that way if you don't have to. It sounds like if you can do half days then you aren't working full time. Just be a SAHM for a little longer for your kid's sake.

[Anonymous]

Unless he’s crying all day every day I’d give it a good month. My kids (3.5 and 1.5) have rough transitions between classrooms and they’ve been at their center since 4-6 months old. It takes them a few weeks to adjust and they’re in familiar surroundings. Hang in there, OP.

[Anonymous]

You need to increase the time spent. So I would have done 3 hours for the first few days and then after lunch for 1-2 days and then after nap 1-2 days and then full day.

If you have no way of receiving updates directly from the teachers that is a red flag IMO. You need to be able to speak directly to those that are taking care of him. Have you even met them or seen the room or anything?

Also my preschool is VERY strict about COVID. When it first started we couldnt even come into the building at drop off and then it was drop off in the main room and then helpers would take them to their classroom. Now we can walk them to the double doors and I go one way out and they go another way into their hallway. During pick up we can walk through the hallway to the classroom but must stay in the hallway. I see the afternoon staff and they tell me how he did/any issues/cute story.

[Anonymous]

My kids went full time but it took a month for them to reliably not cry at drop off.

[Anonymous]

This is OP - he stays through lunch and picks up right before nap. If I let him stay for the nap, there is no way he would nap and he's just disrupt the other kids' naps... I am hoping to do half days until he is able to stop crying at drop off. I do work full time, so I can't be a SAHM, but I have family in the area and they watch him half days. I'd like to give them their lives back
so daycare would be great to work out!