Is timing everything?

[Anonymous]

Do you believe in the right person wrong time? I used t think everything happens for a reason and if 2 people were meant to be they'd make it work out regardless of circumstance or they would meet at the right time such that nothing inhibited them from being together. Now I'm not so certain. What say you?

[Anonymous]

It's not everything. It's part of things. Nothing is black/white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not everything. It's part of things. Nothing is black/white.

+1 was a thread on this not long ago. Right time + right person = marriage. If either is off, then it doesn't work.

[Anonymous]

It matters. The very first time I met my husband I knew he was special, like the one for me, but we would not have worked then. He was a bit arrogant and needed to be humbled and I was insecure and needed to find my own feet. If we had been together at 25, or even 35 It would not have worked out for us. WE each needed the time and various experiences in life to make us the people we are to be successfully married partners.

[Anonymous]

Timing is everything! DH and I agree that if we’d met a month earlier, we wouldn’t be together. We were both going through some stuff and just wouldn’t have been able to handle a relationship.

We actually could’ve met decades before—his BFF went to my very small college. I knew him and my friends often partied with the BFF. DH would come visit him. I wonder if our paths ever crossed on campus…

[Anonymous]

It’s certainly necessary. I do know 3 different men I could have been happily married to forever with different timing. One of them was just me being too judgmental and not considering him more seriously. If I had gone to the same grad school as him instead of a better one I was also accepted to, we would be married today I’m sure.

[Anonymous]

Yes op I think timing does play a part in the success of a relationship. Absolutely.

You could have been single 6 months and meet the most amazing person who has just been broken up with. That timing is off because they've not recovered / got over the break up and aren't ready for you.

just one example anyway...

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Three people I met in my 20s could have gotten very serious very fast. But one of us was either getting over a breakup or moving. Sometimes wonder what might have happened.....

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. My husband was very dead set on the idea he would never get married before age 30. I met him when he was 24. We were married 2 years later, about a decade before all his friends. He was the one that nobody thought would get married.

I don’t believe in bad timing. I think it’s over-used by some as an excuse not to settle. You hear it in men ducking out of affairs all of the time “too bad we didn’t meet earlier”. It’s all BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know. My husband was very dead set on the idea he would never get married before age 30. I met him when he was 24. We were married 2 years later, about a decade before all his friends. He was the one that nobody thought would get married.

I don’t believe in bad timing. I think it’s over-used by some as an excuse not to settle. You hear it in men ducking out of affairs all of the time “too bad we didn’t meet earlier”. It’s all BS.

You have very limited experience in this, to be fair. And your DH clearly changed his "ideal" about timing to the reality. That's quite different.

[Anonymous]

Timing is not everything, but it's about 90% of it.

There are 2 people from my past- I know we would've had a good shot at an interesting long term relationship. But the timing wasn't right and I didn't have the guts at the time to make the timing right.

[Anonymous]

Timing is a huge factor.

[Anonymous]

No. Timing is not everything. I am a firm believer that if it didn't work out, it wasn't meant to be.

Romanticizing the past through rose-colored glasses comes into play.

I believe we meet people at different points in our lives, friends or lovers, etc., and not all are meant to be carried through our entire lives.

It's also why I hated Facebook from it's first inception. I really don't think there are some people we were meant to know about and stay in contact with through our life's journey. It has taken away serendipitous connections.

I love nothing more to run into someone decades later that I knew in a past life and hadn't seen a pic or heard a word about them.

I'm not all into this 'timing is everything' BS. I really think, it wasn't meant to be. You can look back and say 'yes. this person was 100% right for me', but it takes away how much you change over time and how experience shapes you.

[Anonymous]

If timing is everything, than so is 'love at first sight', 'meeting the one'. Someone in the universe put the right person in front of you at the right time.

I met my husband on a night we both were in places we weren't supposed to be. Work happy hour was changed on my day off (this was before cell phones and email). My husband had something similar with his group of friends. I forgot my license and had to cab back to get it. And, when I arrived, there we were looking at each other across the room. Did all those factors line up to make the 'timing right'? I had also just come out of a period in my life (ended a relationship a few months prior) in which I said I was going to be single and not date anyone for a good time. I had my first apartment solo. I had my first 'big, new job', etc. I met him that night and we were inseparable.

[Anonymous]

It's a way to tell yourself, you would be happy if only time I had been different. It keeps people stuck in the past. No, it's not everything. Eyes forward, not back.