When your dc doesn't make the team and they are upset

[Anonymous]

How do you handle it? I tend to follow their lead and empathize I guess. Ugh. This is honestly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

[Anonymous]

You recognize that being upset sometimes is part of healthy development.

[Anonymous]

Talk about the importance of failure. Show them the Ted Talk on failure, the many online articles about it, and look for people that have succeeded despite failures at some point in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle it? I tend to follow their lead and empathize I guess. Ugh. This is honestly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Actually, it isn't the hardest part. That would be having you kid get cancer or killed accidently.

Have your kid practice if he wants to get on the team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you handle it? I tend to follow their lead and empathize I guess. Ugh. This is honestly one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Actually, it isn't the hardest part. That would be having you kid get cancer or killed accidently.

Have your kid practice if he wants to get on the team

Can you tell me how you handled it when your teen was cut from the team of the hs sport they loved? TIA.

[Anonymous]

It is hard. My DD was so upset night of, but within a day was pass it.
She still had her club sport and a second sport which helped.
We followed her lead and just empathized and let her know, she gave it her all , just weren't in the cards. It is life, but breaks your heart when they experience their first huge disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

It doesn’t work that way in sports. There are a certain number of spots and you can’t contact the principal to have another kid bumped.

We have listened been, gently offered suggestions of other clubs/teams in the area she could look into, given her time, and followed her lead if she wanted to go to other tryouts/play rec or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

Good god.

If it isn’t ok, you practice. The coach could very well have made the right decision. I once got cut for attitude, despite more talent than many. Do you think my mom stepping in would have been a good idea? (She doesn’t know why I was cut - it was embarrassing)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

It doesn’t work that way in sports. There are a certain number of spots and you can’t contact the principal to have another kid bumped.

We have listened been, gently offered suggestions of other clubs/teams in the area she could look into, given her time, and followed her lead if she wanted to go to other tryouts/play rec or not.

Excellent advice. I've been in this situation with my son, and he got through it with time, but until you get there it's tough.

Listen to him, and maybe propose helping him to work on what needs to be improved and trying out again next season. If that's feasible -- I know there are some teams that due to an abundance of talent, or even some politics, it doesn't happen. When my DS didn't make the basketball team, he played in a rec league that season so he could still play basketball and was with some of the same school friends who didn't make the school team. They had a lot of fun.

[Anonymous]

I remind myself my kid needs these experiences to become an an adult one day who can deal with life's bumps. I share my own stories. I let him or her feel disappointed, but I also let him or her know everyone faces setbacks, even his biggest sports heroes.

[Anonymous]

DS didn't make the HS soccer team this summer. He was devastated and it was the first time I'd seen him cry in a long time. We let him experience his sadness. Acknowledged his disappointment. After a few days, we asked how he thought he could improve and what he would like to do to increase his skill (if he was interested.) We were willing to look into trainings/clinics/etc. In the end, he decided not to pursue the team again next year and just be content playing on a recreational team where he gets a lot of play time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

Good god.

If it isn’t ok, you practice. The coach could very well have made the right decision. I once got cut for attitude, despite more talent than many. Do you think my mom stepping in would have been a good idea? (She doesn’t know why I was cut - it was embarrassing)

Simmer down. I'm sure the PP was being sarcastic (though I admit, it is hard to tell on DCUM these days).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you appeal to the coach, and failing that: get the principal involved.

Don’t just take this like it’s ok.

Don’t reply if you are going to be rude. What’s the point?

[Anonymous]

This stuff is so hard OP. I always know in the moment it’s a part of life and ultimately good for them but it’s brutal.

I always tell my kids some other opportunity or good thing in their life will come from them not being on the team (or making the play…whatever it is…same difference). But for now, they just feel bad and that’s ok. And then when the good thing happens, I make a point to circle back and point it out. You would have never been able to do this other thing or you wouldn’t have met this friend if it hadn’t happened.