What is with the procrastination and inertia?
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Anonymous
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I really cannot take my ds lack of initiative and lackadaisical attitude about the applications due Monday. He is still not done with essays and was supposed to follow up with his counselor yesterday about his letter but 'forgot' but "it's no big deal mom I can do it today."
He was very into the process until last month. He knows what needs to happen. And he is very excited about his first choice and already making plans about where he wants to live and things he wants to do there. It's like he doesn't understand there is a huge hurdle he has to jump first. Maddening. And no I am not just going to let him suffer the consequences. I am pushing him to do this and making sure it is done. |
Anonymous
| You will have a lot more peace of mind letting your kid deal with it. |
Anonymous
| Simple, procrastination for fear of failure. Very common. |
Anonymous
Actually, I won't. |
Anonymous
Well maybe but he seems pretty confident. |
Anonymous
That is on you then. Your choice. |
Anonymous
Absolutely! |
Anonymous
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Its a tough parenting question. I am like you, and say this is too big of consequence to suffer. Partner says no, if they can't take this seriously and get essays done and apps in by deadline, then they must not be ready for college.
In other news, this is only for early action I assume. There is regular decision as well. Perhaps your son will hear of friends who have acceptances in their hands in a month or so, and it will motivate him. |
Anonymous
| I agree this is not the time to teach your kid a lesson but I am very tempted to. |
Anonymous
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This has been a challenging thing to witness. My great student who has worked so hard - spends days in his room stressing about the essays - but nothing gets written.
I think you can be a good student and successful in college - and the process with these personal essays be a shit show. Heck - I have a hard time giving my boss my accomplishments for my annual performance review - and that is actions - not my deep feelings. And I'm not a 17 year old boy. I have nagged - and we don't have a consultant or anyone reviewing his essays - so sometimes he lets me comment on things he should improve. |
Anonymous
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A couple of weeks ago we had a huge fight with our DS about this issue. When we all calmed down, DS admitted he was overwhelmed with all the deadlines, additional essay requirements, etc. We made a spreadsheet for him with deadlines to check in with a parent. We also did a brainstorming list of topics for each essay for each college. He was visibly relieved after the brainstorming and, within reason, is keeping to the timelines.
And every time he completes an application and sends it off, we let him pick what is for dinner. We have ordered pizza 3x this week. Good luck! |
Anonymous
Yes I am doing all of the admin work for him, really. I made prompts for him in Google docs, etc. I am keeping track of deadlines and what needs to be where when and by whom. It is HARD and I am an organized adult. But I won't write the essays for him (just edit) and I won't communicate with his counselor (with whom he has a good relationship) or teachers for recs. That is where I draw a line. I do have SOME line. Ha. |
Anonymous
| I am rather shocked how involved some of you are with your kids application process. |
Anonymous
+100 |
Anonymous
I am shocked myself! - op |