Can someone explain foster care to me?

[Anonymous]

I’m listening to 1A and they are talking about all these kids who age out of foster care and are on their own or on the street. Do the families that care for these kids just say “well, happy 18th birthday! Now get out” how does that work? I would think that people willing to invest in them as kids would want to continue that after 18 so I know I’m missing something. Please help me have a better understanding of how this works.

[Anonymous]

I know some cases where it has worked out as you described. However, not all kids *want* to stay with their foster families... and yes, some families kick them to the curb.

[Anonymous]

Some foster families are great and caring and heavily invest in their foster children. Others see their foster children as a monthly check and could not care less about them.

[Anonymous]

Plus many teens are not actually placed with families — the older they get the harder it is to place them, so they are often in group homes or even in an apartment but the supportive services are cut off at 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus many teens are not actually placed with families — the older they get the harder it is to place them, so they are often in group homes or even in an apartment but the supportive services are cut off at 18.

This.

[Anonymous]

It all depends. Some foster families may not financially be able to house and support foster kids without the stipend that ends at age 18. As noted above, the kid may want to leave. And yes, a foster family may just be "done" with a kid who is exhibiting extreme behavior/attitude issues. People who come from stable home environments with loving families cannot fathom the realities that many foster kids (and foster families) experience, and there is very little that a foster family---no matter how loving---can do for an uncooperative 18 yo. who does not have a secure familial attachment history. Love does NOT fix everything.

[Anonymous]

And some kids age out while living in a group home, shelter, etc.

[Anonymous]

Terrible. They need to at least offer vocational training to these kids before setting them loose. Pipe fitting, plumber, construction, etc.

What's the point of cutting them loose at 18? That's literally setting up to fail.

[Anonymous]

In DC kids age out at 21, so in theory there are supports in places after 18. What that looks like in reality though, not sure.

[Anonymous]

I aged out of foster care (group home) at 18 and was fortunate enough to go to college on a full-ride. Not sure what I would have done if a residential college hadn't been an option. What was hard was not having a "home" address, a place to go during breaks/vacations, and basically being homeless when school was not in session and dorms closed. This was 30 years ago, so maybe colleges have changed but one winter break I broke into my dorm room after everyone left and stayed thanks to the kindness of the maintenance staff.

[Anonymous]

at least in Virginia, former foster youth can stay voluntarily in foster care until they are 21, and sometimes 25 I think. The problem is that the lure of 'being independent' is strong for most 17 year olds, and foster children are no different. Its not that they are 'kicked out' it that they choose to 'be on their own.' They recently amended the rule to let kids come back, which is good- it used to be that once they signed themselves out it was over.
Also- while children aging out of foster care often can get great financial aid packages for college etc, they have often had such significant trauma and interrupted schooling that college is not realistic. Or, for the girls, they have a high probability of already being a parent themselves, which adds a whole new layer of complication. (This is not an unavailability of birth control problem, this is a wanting someone to love them problem.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some foster families are great and caring and heavily invest in their foster children. Others see their foster children as a monthly check and could not care less about them.

The orphanage system was replaced by foster care.

Foster care costs the .gov billions (just like orphanages once did).

Yes - some families foster largely for the $$. I doubt it’s most, but some do. So it’s not surprising there are families who drop kids cold like they described in 1A.

[Anonymous]

I work in a field that's not directly involved with foster care, but I see a lot of kids in care in my line of work. Kids that age can be difficult placements, and they've often bounced around a lot, so a foster family they're with might not have the attachment to them like a long term placement would. When a foster care placement has been long and relatively conflict free the foster parents often stay in the child's life. When a placement has been short or contentious it usually ends as soon as a child ages out.

In working with older kids in care the goal is to get them set up as adults so if they age out of care they can function - make sure they have copies of birth certificates and SS cards, help them learn to drive and get a license, open a bank account and teach them basic finance, get a copy of their credit report and help them clear things off of it that they're not responsible for (a lot of parents abuse their child's credit), get copies of their medical records, etc.

Of course the main thing is where are they going to live - as a poster above mentioned, even if they go to a residential college they can't always stay there for breaks or the summer. I've helped students find off campus housing where they can use the financial aid to assist with rent so they have a place to stay year round, but that isn't always possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plus many teens are not actually placed with families — the older they get the harder it is to place them, so they are often in group homes or even in an apartment but the supportive services are cut off at 18.

This.
I’m shocked op doesn’t know this. The majority of children who age out of foster care has been through hell on earth and endure even worse as they now become adults who were not prepared for adulthood nor loved.

A lot of the homeless here in nyc are adults who were raised in foster care jumping from home to home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plus many teens are not actually placed with families — the older they get the harder it is to place them, so they are often in group homes or even in an apartment but the supportive services are cut off at 18.

This.

In nyc, the services are cut off at 21.

I know this because a friend of mine was in foster care.

Many states have changed it to that age as well.