Family w/ 4 kids - staying over the holidays

[Anonymous]

What do you think about a family with four kids (ages ranging from 1-10) staying over for Christmas? Not a sibling but extended family. The adults are not very helpful when they've stayed over the past (e.g., don't clean up after their kids).

If this were you, would you (1) get a hotel or airbnb or (2) ask to stay w/ family?

Is it rude if we don't extend an invitation to them to stay at our house? We do have space, but six people staying over for ~3 days over the holidays is a lot.

[Anonymous]

I would do it if I liked them well enough. I would ask the older kids to clean up after themselves and ask the parents to clean up after their kids. Not in a mean way, “hey, John, would you mind picking up the toys in the living room while I get dinner on the table?” It’s family, so it wouldn’t bother me to ask.

[Anonymous]

3 days is not that long, in my opinion. If it were 2 weeks or something, I'd have a different answer. But - it sounds like you don't want them to stay. That is totally fine and fair. Just say that you're excited to see them over the holidays and that you are happy to send hotel recommendations if that would be helpful. I have 3 kids, and I do try to be as helpful as I can, but I can completely understand if someone doesn't want us in their house. We are a lot, despite every effort to clean up after ourselves. Kids are kids, and especially little ones are unpredictable.

[Anonymous]

Three days is an eternity with four extra bratty kids in the house. Sounds like cousins. I would say they can get a hotel.

[Anonymous]

I have four kids and when we have stayed with another family, it's no vacation for me, because I am on top of my kids more than usual to be good guests. If the kids are between 1-10 you need to figure the kids six and under will make messes and be loud. Don't invite them. I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

For three days, I would totally do it — assuming the kids were reasonably behaved and the parents were tolerable.

[Anonymous]

Ask them to get a hotel. It will make for a more pleasant visit for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For three days, I would totally do it — assuming the kids were reasonably behaved and the parents were tolerable.

Let me add. I would force the parents of these kids to step up. I have no problem saying “hey, can you load the dishwasher” or “hey, here are some wipes you can use to deal with that spill.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a family with four kids (ages ranging from 1-10) staying over for Christmas? Not a sibling but extended family. The adults are not very helpful when they've stayed over the past (e.g., don't clean up after their kids).

If this were you, would you (1) get a hotel or airbnb or (2) ask to stay w/ family?

Is it rude if we don't extend an invitation to them to stay at our house? We do have space, but six people staying over for ~3 days over the holidays is a lot.

If they are gonna stay the whole day with you and literally just sleep at the hotel, then there is not much difference. If they would go to the hotel by a certain time and you get some time to unwind, then it may be worth sending them off.

I’d be concerned about my kids’ sleep and rest the most, because if they get tired and are living through your frustration with the guests, they’ll have a hard time.

[Anonymous]

No. Hosting the kids for one day would be my limit. Overnight stay would be a no go.

[Anonymous]

For family for three days? Yes I would do it. My brother has 3 kids and lives in England. He has literally never been to see me. He’s been to Las Vegas with his wife. And Florida with friends, but never here. I’d be thrilled if they came and I would not ask them to stay in a hotel. If these family members are coming to see you I think it’s rude to ask unless you legitimately have a tiny house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think about a family with four kids (ages ranging from 1-10) staying over for Christmas? Not a sibling but extended family. The adults are not very helpful when they've stayed over the past (e.g., don't clean up after their kids).

If this were you, would you (1) get a hotel or airbnb or (2) ask to stay w/ family?

Is it rude if we don't extend an invitation to them to stay at our house? We do have space, but six people staying over for ~3 days over the holidays is a lot.

God help you! Rescind the invitation. No, it is not rude but the only sensible thing to do. Happy holidays!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them to get a hotel. It will make for a more pleasant visit for everyone.

This.

[Anonymous]

If I had room and the kids played well with my kids I would absolutely do it. And ask the parents for help with small tasks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For three days, I would totally do it — assuming the kids were reasonably behaved and the parents were tolerable.

Let me add. I would force the parents of these kids to step up. I have no problem saying “hey, can you load the dishwasher” or “hey, here are some wipes you can use to deal with that spill.”

Same here. Or the kid is he is over three.