Surrogacy

[Anonymous]

Does anyone know SGF's requirement for a surrogate? Would it work for someone who is single, early 30, never been pregnant, has pcos/anxiety/depression but never smoke or drink (family members who offers to help)?

[Anonymous]

To be a surrogate? I don’t know specifics for SGF, but most places require that a surrogate have had a successful pregnancy in the past. Never been pregnant is probably a disqualifier. They typical want the person to fully understand what they are agreeing to, and that’s just not possible with a first-time pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

When we were at SGF 3 years ago our surrogate had to have had at least one successful pregnancy of her own child and a very clean physical and mental health history. Surrogacy is a stressful process for both parties involved. I’m not sure someone with anxiety and depression is a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know SGF's requirement for a surrogate? Would it work for someone who is single, early 30, never been pregnant, has pcos/anxiety/depression but never smoke or drink (family members who offers to help)?

I think if you were doing it for a friend but most agencies wouldn’t take you if you’ve never had a baby before.

[Anonymous]

Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

Run, run, run don’t walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

You can't possibly be serious, right? This has to be a troll post? Just FYI, being on government assistance disqualifies surrogates as well (because agencies/ clinics don't want desperate women to feel coerced into doing this for money... or shelter).

There's no way any clinic, lawyer, or psychologist (surrogacy requires psych clearance for everyone involved) is going to allow this, OP. Also, she's going to lose her government assistance if you pay her... you were planning to pay her, right??

[Anonymous]

This is not going to work. Do not put a child in the middle of all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

You can't possibly be serious, right? This has to be a troll post? Just FYI, being on government assistance disqualifies surrogates as well (because agencies/ clinics don't want desperate women to feel coerced into doing this for money... or shelter).

There's no way any clinic, lawyer, or psychologist (surrogacy requires psych clearance for everyone involved) is going to allow this, OP. Also, she's going to lose her government assistance if you pay her... you were planning to pay her, right??

Stop making me sound like a villain. I don't want to do it but feel forced into accepting the offer because it's from a family member. Do you not read the boundary issues? I just need a valid answer from someone who went through this, and I got that from the previous replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

You can't possibly be serious, right? This has to be a troll post? Just FYI, being on government assistance disqualifies surrogates as well (because agencies/ clinics don't want desperate women to feel coerced into doing this for money... or shelter).

There's no way any clinic, lawyer, or psychologist (surrogacy requires psych clearance for everyone involved) is going to allow this, OP. Also, she's going to lose her government assistance if you pay her... you were planning to pay her, right??

Stop making me sound like a villain. I don't want to do it but feel forced into accepting the offer because it's from a family member. Do you not read the boundary issues? I just need a valid answer from someone who went through this, and I got that from the previous replies.

No one is making you sound like a villain except you. It's reprehensible that you would even consider doing this, from what you've said here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

The issues that can be handled by a surrogacy agreement vary by state. Not all states have laws that work well for surrogacy. Your family member’s circumstances do not seem well-suited for this arrangement.

[Anonymous]

OP are you the intended parent and want to use a family member to be your surrogate? What state are you in? What state is the surrogate in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never had a child herself is disqualifying on its own, but with anxiety and depression too... yikes. The clinics want to be really, really sure that the surrogate won't freak out and decide she wants to keep the baby after it's born, even if it's not genetically hers.

I hired a surrogate, and the post-birth court order naming me as the parent of my own children wasn't completed for 3 days after they were born. That's 3 days for a surrogate with severe postpartum anxiety and depression to decide not to cooperate with the process of transferring parental rights. That's what clinics want to avoid.

Yike. I thought all the legal things get taken care of in the surrogate agreement and that the surrogate never has parental right on the baby? She has problem with boundaries in the past, so as family member, I can see she will try to get involved with the parenting. Also, she is on government's help and can't afford her own place, so we'll have to let her stay with is during the pregnancy.

You can't possibly be serious, right? This has to be a troll post? Just FYI, being on government assistance disqualifies surrogates as well (because agencies/ clinics don't want desperate women to feel coerced into doing this for money... or shelter).

There's no way any clinic, lawyer, or psychologist (surrogacy requires psych clearance for everyone involved) is going to allow this, OP. Also, she's going to lose her government assistance if you pay her... you were planning to pay her, right??

Stop making me sound like a villain. I don't want to do it but feel forced into accepting the offer because it's from a family member. Do you not read the boundary issues? I just need a valid answer from someone who went through this, and I got that from the previous replies.

Kindly, it's not even a question because a potential surrogate with that background would never be approved. You can just say that you spoke with your clinic/a lawyer and they aren't eligible. If they ask why, say the criteria are strict and they don't allow first time pregnancies OR people with her health and social history.

[Anonymous]

PP with the family member who wants to be a surrogate: you should never feel coerced into doing that!! Just say you’d prefer to have a surrogate who is not family so it’s less complicated.

We used a sperm donor and had many “helpful” offers and some of those offers included a lot of pressure. You need to say no as firmly as possible and with a very simple benign reason. You don’t owe anyone inclusion in your fertility journey.