Had an epiphany
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Anonymous
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I've been pushing my family to do things that I love to do - outdoorsy things like hiking, biking, camping, and trying to push back against the things the rest of my family like to do - video games, playing around with computers, scary movies, making big messes and roughhousing and play fighting. And in the process, we've spent so much money on things that my family doesn't even enjoy, and I've spent so much of my time planning and organizing activities that my family could care less for and I have been trying to carry the enthusiasm for it.
Just realizing how stubborn I've been in keeping with it and to keep on trying to push my children and husband into these things, while they do nothing but complain. These aren't easy things and activities to organize even with a willing group of participants, and it becomes much more difficult when I am the sole person doing all the work around it. And I'm looking around at our house and I'm realizing if I got rid of all that stuff, things would be simpler and easier too. I've also done 80% of the vacation planning, trips that are more outdoorsy, while my husband plans the high-rise hotel type trips which I do not enjoy as much for our family and balk a bit at the cost, but I do appreciate the break of not having had to plan it. So, I'm giving it all up. And getting rid of all of our hiking, biking, camping gear. And maybe there will then be room for an indoor movie theater or something! |
Anonymous
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Why don’t you have your cake and eat it too? Some outdoorsy stuff, just less of it. Different vacations each year, etc.
Outdoors stuff can be fun but nobody likes a parents’ forced death March through the woods. We camp once a year. It’s fun, it’s also enough. |
Anonymous
It seems like a lot of stuff to keep in the house for something you do once a year! We just don't have the space to "have our cake and eat it too". Also it would be nice to sell off the stuff and maybe use it to budget for more luxe vacations. |
Anonymous
| OP, consider keeping your camping, hiking gear, though. Just because your family isn't into it doesn't mean you shouldn't go for a hike with friends while your DH & kids hang at home! |
Anonymous
| I’m sort of fascinated by this. Do you really plan and execute vacations that only you enjoy? Do your family members enjoy the trips once they’re over? Do they complain? I have so many questions. |
Anonymous
Ok, first I was very excited at this idea....... and then I realized I have no friends I could go camping/hiking/biking with because they are either going with their families who also love that kind of thing, or I have friends who hate that stuff. |
Anonymous
I think I was in denial for like 5 years thinking they'd come around to it. And, well, they complain about a lot of things so it's hard to tease out what they truly do not enjoy. They do enjoy many parts of the trip/activity and they say they had fun after the fact. But they complain a LOT beforehand, resist the plans, and they definitely refuse to do any help with packing or preparation. But yeah, I'm realizing now that they probably never really enjoyed it much, and have only gone along with it because I pushed. And they certainly would never go of their own volition. |
Anonymous
| so go camping but stay in a yurt or KOA cabin or something. Sleeping outdoors sucks for most people, but a cabin in a developed campground with a pool is a good compromise. |
Anonymous
| Get rid of the tent but save the hiking gear. Go on vacations near resorts with amazing scenery like the Broadmoor in Colorado, rent a cool house at Lake Tahoe. Make sure there is good Wi-Fi. Spend some time hiking, let the kids play video games in the room if they want, see a movie, swim etc. |
Anonymous
This. |
Anonymous
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It’s good that you’ve realized this and have changed your steamroller ways.
There’s always a way to find middle ground. Instead of camping in tents, people can enjoy nature and outdoor activities but have a nice lodge or resort to stay in. DH like but do not love the beach, and we finally told his parents that we won’t be staying at the beach for six nights every summer. We said more like 3 nights max, and then we go stay a few nights somewhere we enjoy more. |
Anonymous
Ok. I just need to get rid of this crazy discomfort I feel around dropping several thousand dollars on accommodations when I would enjoy sleeping in a tent much more for far less than a tenth of the price. But I also need to remember I also easily spent a grand on all the camping gear- tents, sleeping pads, sleeping bags, lighting, and the kitchen/cooking stuff. I also need to let go of this vision/fantasy I have of our family and our camping trips together, leaving our devices at home, coming together to pack up the car, work to build a fire, put up the tent, cook together, and just enjoy the simplicity and beauty of nature. Sigh. It is hard. It really is something I wanted for our family but I’m realizing I do have to take everyone’s desires into consideration when planning family activities- not just my own vision. |
Anonymous
You’re just now realizing that you “have to take everyone’s desires into consideration” when planning time THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY WITH YOU? Change your ways right this second, or don’t come pouting and whining when…surprise!…your adult children don’t want to vacation with you or spend holidays with you. |
Anonymous
Just try to scale your dream down. Get a cabin and tell the kids there will be blocks of no phone time, a couple hours for a hike. A couple hours to build a fire pit and make s'mores. I think if you make it in consumable chunks, they won't be so resistant. |
Anonymous
| Why do I feel like this is the spouse who enjoys the luxe hotel vacations hoping the camping spouse sees this post and has the epiphany? |