Developing Feelings for Work Husband

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy I work with. We started texting about random stuff, but I found myself talking to him like everyday. I look forward to his texts and random calls and it just gives me so much joy to talk to him. Problem is that I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to jeapordize our relationship for this crush that may not develop into anything. I am not even sure he is into me but I do know he likes talking to me. He is pretty good looking and tells me about the dates he goes on. I do feel pings of jealousy sometimes. Should I just cut off contact slowly or pursue this?

[Anonymous]

This can get out of hand really quickly, you’re already at the stage where you’re looking forward to his texts so the really intense feelings are not far behind. Go super slow, if it fizzles then it was just a fun friendship and if it doesn’t then you know you’re on the right path.

[Anonymous]

There is no such thing as work husband. That is a stupid term and an idiotic concept.
He is a coworker and you are nuts.

[Anonymous]

It’s already out of hand. How long you been talking to this dude. It’s clear there is a deep emotional connection that transcends friendship. I guarantee you he likes you too.

[Anonymous]

He sounds hot, and you're not married. Go for it.

[Anonymous]

C'mon girl, pick one and dump the other. Don't do both guys dirty like this.

[Anonymous]

IF one of you was married, I would be chewing you out right now and telling you to remove yourself from this situation.

But, you are both single. This is the time to explore. Just be upfront with your boyfriend if you pursue something, don't lie and hide things.

[Anonymous]

I like to Facetime with my work wife, and watch her get off while I tell her all sorts of filthy things. It's completely safe, she's teleworking 30 miles away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IF one of you was married, I would be chewing you out right now and telling you to remove yourself from this situation.

But, you are both single. This is the time to explore. Just be upfront with your boyfriend if you pursue something, don't lie and hide things.

This was my exact reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as work husband. That is a stupid term and an idiotic concept.
He is a coworker and you are nuts.

It's not an idiotic concept at all. Happens to a lot of people. You must not have much experience in the workforce or simply have a narrow minded view of how men and women interact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as work husband. That is a stupid term and an idiotic concept.
He is a coworker and you are nuts.

It's not an idiotic concept at all. Happens to a lot of people. You must not have much experience in the workforce or simply have a narrow minded view of how men and women interact.

LOL! I crush is a crush, call it what you want...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as work husband. That is a stupid term and an idiotic concept.
He is a coworker and you are nuts.

It's not an idiotic concept at all. Happens to a lot of people. You must not have much experience in the workforce or simply have a narrow minded view of how men and women interact.

I don’t understand why somebody would think it’s an idiotic concept. I think DH has work spouses—just somebody he works closely with on a project for an extended period and they talk about personal stuff as well, maybe get together for lunch or something outside of work. I don’t even know that it’s a man/woman thing; one coworker of DH’s who I felt like was a work spouse was a guy (and neither of them is gay). Isn’t “work husband” just another way of saying “coworker who has a constant presence in your life because of the nature of the work and with whom you have become close friends with?”

Anyway, OP, do some soul-searching and figure out what you *really* want. It’s your brain, your life, you’re in control.

[Anonymous]

Why not sleep with both and see which one you like better? Unless you are engaged or married you aren't cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been talking to this guy I work with. We started texting about random stuff, but I found myself talking to him like everyday. I look forward to his texts and random calls and it just gives me so much joy to talk to him. Problem is that I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to jeapordize our relationship for this crush that may not develop into anything. I am not even sure he is into me but I do know he likes talking to me. He is pretty good looking and tells me about the dates he goes on. I do feel pings of jealousy sometimes. Should I just cut off contact slowly or pursue this?

This statement is confusing to me, OP. You say you love your boyfriend but the second half of that sentence reads to me that you're not willing to lose your boyfriend if nothing can happen with your crush. Would you be willing to lose your boyfriend if you had a guarantee with your crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been talking to this guy I work with. We started texting about random stuff, but I found myself talking to him like everyday. I look forward to his texts and random calls and it just gives me so much joy to talk to him. Problem is that I have a boyfriend. I love my boyfriend and I don't want to jeapordize our relationship for this crush that may not develop into anything. I am not even sure he is into me but I do know he likes talking to me. He is pretty good looking and tells me about the dates he goes on. I do feel pings of jealousy sometimes. Should I just cut off contact slowly or pursue this?

This statement is confusing to me, OP. You say you love your boyfriend but the second half of that sentence reads to me that you're not willing to lose your boyfriend if nothing can happen with your crush. Would you be willing to lose your boyfriend if you had a guarantee with your crush?

She’s saying that she might be more attracted to this guy than to boyfriend. But if it’s going to fizzle she wants to stay with boyfriend. Who is tried and true.

OP, this is tricky. I think you know that work husband is not interested in pursuing a long term thing with you. His behavior — talking about dates flirtatiously and so on — suggests that he is a good time guy. But the fantasy is appealing and probably livens up your day. My advice, let yourself flirt and enjoy. If he’s at all serious he will be more direct. If he leaves it here that’s for a reason, he can’t see you as worth risking his whole situation either and the most it will be is a clandestine fling.

Flirt and do everything but cheat, bring those feelings of passion back into your relationship and yourself. This guy is pushing a button. He’s showing you what you need more of. So do you need it from him, or just in general? Be honest with yourself.