If you are not SAH, how involved are you in 5 yo’s social life

[Anonymous]

If you are a parent working a full time job, how involved are you in the socialization of your 4/5/6 yo kid? I’m specifically referring mostly to the organization of play dates with other moms with similar age kids. My kid goes to full time PreK 4 from 9-5 every day. If you have a similar situation, are you spending much effort outside of school to facilitate your kids social life and friendships?

Seems like a lot of moms where I live get together and organize play dates, trips to the park etc. for their kids to socialize but it’s mostly SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

To the extent that he has a social life, I orchestrate 100% of it. How else would it happen? However, at this point it's basically seeing local friends for local activities like riding scooters at the park. Our nanny actually brings him to most of the activities.

[Anonymous]

They play with neighborhood kids impromptu during the week and we schedule things some (but not all) weekends. I think it helps that pretty much all the moms at our kids' school work so we're all in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

At that age, if they have a social life, you have to have an adult making it happen.

[Anonymous]

I have k and 3rd grade girls and I feel like I have a second full time job organizing their play dates. I am glad they have friends and glad to have the social interaction and intel that comes from other parents, but it can be exhausting.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM now but I used to be a working mom who had 2 kids in daycare 9-5.

A few of the preschool families became friends. Our kids were in the same preschool class for 2-3 years. We would take turns hosting dinners and play dates. We would go to the zoo.

I’m now a SAHM of a 4yo with 2 older kids. I hang out with my friends with girls the same age as my daughter.

I’m very social as are my children.

[Anonymous]

We rarely do play dates and only really socialize regularly with a few close friends ourselves.

[Anonymous]

My kids are in elementary now, but I WOH and yes, I still spend some time facilitating their social lives.

They ask to see friends and not all of them live within walking distance, so not much choice.

[Anonymous]

my daughter has rare playdates that i either organize or the other mom has reached out to me. she does soccer 1X a week. that's the extent of her social life.

[Anonymous]

Either DH or I am completely involved - how could we not be with a 5 yr old? It’s not like he can drive himself or set up the play date via his phone!

My son is out of preK by 3 and does an activity/sport after school every day. On weekends, he usually has one play date or goes to a birthday party. He also sees his grandparents (a break for DH and me) or his Godmother for an outing on Sundays.

[Anonymous]

I am willing to spend a couple (2-3) of hours a week facilitating non-school socializing. More towards 3 if I like the other parents, more towards 2 if they are people I don't have much in common with.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t daycare one big playdate? After a full day of daycare I would think most kids need peace and quiet and one-on-one adult time at home! Maybe some socialization on weekends with local family or family friends, but certainly not more time with kids they already see 40 hours a week!

[Anonymous]

No social live besides school and playing with random kids (sometimes classmates) at the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At that age, if they have a social life, you have to have an adult making it happen.

I made my kids social life happen at that age by sending them to school. I was SAH with the oldest in K, and working with a combo of Dad (shift work) and grandparent picking up for youngest. Sometimes whoever would pick up would sit and let them play on the playground, but in K both my kids were pretty tired at 3:00.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t daycare one big playdate? After a full day of daycare I would think most kids need peace and quiet and one-on-one adult time at home! Maybe some socialization on weekends with local family or family friends, but certainly not more time with kids they already see 40 hours a week!

+1

My 5 year old is at school all day. Sometimes we do impromptu playdates with the neighbors on the weekends. Sometimes we go to the park and he finds kids there to play with. I think it's odd to use the term "social life" for a 5 year old though because it implies an autonomous identity that I usually associate with adolescence and up.