Dinner plans??

[Anonymous]

You went out to eat to dinner with a close friend last Wednesday and your friend asked you ok when's our next dinner date and you both agree next Tuesday will at 5 PM will work. As you are leaving the restaurant you both say say you next Tuesday so it appears that these aren't tentative plans but actual confirmed plans. The restaurant we are going to hasn't been decided on but that's fine because we usually decide on the day that we are going out to dinner.

So my question to you guys is this. I texted my friend around 10:00 this morning and asked her if we are still on for dinner at 5 tonight and if so where did she want to go? We both are preschool teachers but my preschool was closed today for Sukkot and I know her school is very strict about cell phone usage. So when a few hours go by and I hear nothing back I don't think anything of it but I notice that she did read my message but I still thought ok she probably just glanced at her phone and saw it but couldn't respond right then so she will probably get back to me later when she gets out of work at 3:15. 3:15 comes along still nothing, 4:00 nothing, then 5:00 nothing.

Now like I said a lot of times she will take hours to text back but she always will text back either way whether she has to cancel or not and whenever she has to cancel she always provides a reason and gives another date that she can reschedule for. I am always super understanding so it's not like she could be afraid that I would get upset or something. Also we live on the opposite side of town but we switch off whose side of town we grab dinner at so it's not like she could be upset or feel like we always have dinner on my side of town where the friendship is uneven or one sided.

I tried calling her at 5:30 no answer and then again at 6:00 no answer and I left a VM just nicely and in a non confrontational accusatory way telling her I was just calling to check in on her and make sure she is ok because I was under the impression we had set dinner plans tonight and she never texted/called back regarding the plans like she always does so I just wanted to make sure she is ok. Never heard back. Last time we chatted was on Saturday and she was telling me about how her first day went at her new week. Everything seemed perfectly ok between us.

She always says how much she values our friendship and how much she enjoys our time together and hanging out with me so this is a super close friendship we have been friends for a few years now. So close to the point we have actually traveled together so I'm just so lost as to what suddenly happened. I have bad anxiety so my mind is racing as to why she is suddenly ignoring me.

I know her phone works because the little eye icon showed up to show she read my text and like I said in the past she has always contacted me to let me know she had to cancel. It may be like an hour before but she still always makes contact with me. If you were in my shoes how many times on the day of the plans would you call or text to try and get a hold of your friend? If they don't respond what would your next step be?

[Anonymous]

you both say see you next Tuesday**

[Anonymous]

If this was a friend that's as close as you say and she didn't respond at all on the day we have set plans and I knew her as a person to always get back to me and not be a flake I would be blowing up her phone worrying. If hours went by if it was the type of friendship where I can pop over to her house I would honestly probably do that and check on her. That's really odd for someone to suddenly ghost you like that with no signs or warning. It's not like you guys seemed to have any issues before so I would be like WTF is my girl ok.

[Anonymous]

Have to agree with PP. This would make me worry about my friend, if she is consistently not a flake.

[Anonymous]

Can you try texting her again? “Larla, just message me to let me know you’re okay! You always get back to me right away, so I’m worried you’re not responding. I don’t care about the cancelled dinner plans. We can get together another time. Just let me know you’re okay!”

[Anonymous]

Have you tried actually phoning her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you both say see you next Tuesday**

[Anonymous]

I'd be concerned she was in trouble and also wonder if she just ghosted. Happens sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Does she a boyfriend, husband, or roommate you can call to check in on her?

[Anonymous]

You know she has read your text. Let it go. Your anxiety seems high.

[Anonymous]

After the second call I would probably send the police in for a wellness check

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be concerned she was in trouble and also wonder if she just ghosted. Happens sometimes.

DP..ghosting a friend that close with no explanation? Normal and nature people don't do crap like that.

[Anonymous]

I would call.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did call yesterday at 5:30 and then again at 6:00 last night and I left a message just saying I was concerned because this isn't like her to not respond and I just wanted to make sure everything is ok. I'm not upset if we have to cancel I'm not even concerned about that. No response. I night head over to her apartment afterwork since I work on her side of town if I still don't hear anything by then. She lives alone and doesn't have a bf she has a few guys she is just casually seeing but nothing official so I don't have their contact info. Her parents and immediate family all live 4 hours from her and I don't have their contact info.

[Anonymous]

Ok now I'm really starting to wonder if I have been ghosted. I texted and called her before work and nothing. I tried calling her multiple times after work and nothing. I even left messages just saying to let me know if she is ok because I'm worried and still no response. I'm so hurt because I thought this was a super close friend and I am honestly going back in my mind thinking of what I could have said or done.

The last time we spoke and hung out everything seemed completely fine and we had a great time. I don't know what could have changed since then. I know she has a super busy schedule but she always gets back to me eventually and especially if I leave a VM saying I'm worried about her just to let me know if she is ok.