It's really hard for me to feel sorry for people who were last of their classmates to turn 21:

[Anonymous]

People with fall birthdays are usually the ones who have this experience as they usually turn 18 their freshman year and 21 their senior year. My birthday is at the end of September, which means that I, too, would've had this experience had things gone smoothly for me; only they didn't. A few weeks into my freshman year, I dropped out of college due to anxiety. I went back the following fall as an almost-19-year-old freshman. When I turned 21 at the beginning of my junior year, one of my roommates said to me, "Lucky you. I don't turn 21 for another year." I remember thinking to myself, "Lucky? Lucky that I had to drop out of college? Lucky that I'm going to have to watch all my friends from high school graduate college before me?"

The other night, I was talking to a family friend who has a 20-year-old son who just started his senior year of college. I asked how he was doing and they said, "He's really unhappy right now. Most of his friends can go out to bars and he can't." I had to stop myself from responding with "Would he rather have my experience?"

These are just a couple of examples. Across various internet forums, I've seen countless people acting like victims because they couldn't go bar-hopping until midway through their senior year. But what they don't seem to realize is that this is only because they had a straight clean path, as opposed to the messy crooked path I had; a path that being the first of my friends to turn 21 wasn't worth. It's almost as if they're saying they wish they had had to drop out of college. Would these people really rather have the experience I did?

[Anonymous]

This is a very strange post.

[Anonymous]

Um, what? Who says your supposed to feel sorry for these people? And what does it have to do with your situation? This is apples and oranges. Are you still in your 20s?

[Anonymous]

OP I'm sorry but you have some really distorted thinking about this. Did you/do you see a therapist for your anxiety? They might be able to help you sort out and process the trauma associated with what you went through.

[Anonymous]

Get well soon, OP.

[Anonymous]

You still have a lot of hard feelings about your past. I hope you can one day accept what happened and make peace with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People with fall birthdays are usually the ones who have this experience as they usually turn 18 their freshman year and 21 their senior year.

OP what school district are you coming from? When I was growing up in the DMV and the cutoff dates were Jan 1, this was the case. I had one of those fall birthdays and I went to college at age 17. But now, most school districts use Sept 1 so what you're describing doesn't happen much.

I think you're conflating people's light conversation about bar-hopping and your reflections on the straight vs. crooked path. Some people take a gap year, which is very different from dropping out from college due to anxiety. Others go to the military, and don't even enter college until they are 21. If your friend's son is unhappy that he can't go to bars, maybe it's simply that the son feels left out. You of all people should have some empathy for a person who feels left out. Also, some people just need to vent. It's not always about victimization. They are just letting off steam. You don't need to take them too seriously, or argue with them, or get too upset about what they say.

[Anonymous]

OP - sorry to hear about your anxiety issues and the resulting hurdles. That said, keep in mind that many kids are 21 early because their parents redshirted them at K. My older one just happens to have a Fall birthday and will be 21 Fall of Jr year. This is all to say that these Jr year bar hoppers may not have faced the same detours as you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange post.

+1

Navel-gazing too much.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP? If you are over 25, time to move on.

There are many reasons other than dropping out that students may be a tad older. My son will be 21 his junior year. We insisted that he take a gap year, because due to his severe ADHD, unless he took some additional time to mature, the chances he would be successful in college were not great. He did a wonderful, but $, gap year program through a program geared towards kids with ADHD, and travelled. He is definitely very lucky to have had this opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Cool story bro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange post.

+1

Navel-gazing too much.

+2. I clicked on it because I turned 21 in the fall of my senior year, but didn't expect the initial post to go that way.

[Anonymous]

It’s not a contest to see who has it the worst. Buck up and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm sorry but you have some really distorted thinking about this. Did you/do you see a therapist for your anxiety? They might be able to help you sort out and process the trauma associated with what you went through.

Calling the one year delay of college a trauma is a misuse of the word and does a real disservice to victims of actual trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very strange post.

+1

I was abducted and sexually assaulted by a friend’s BF. Should I fail to have sympathy for you, OP?