Weddings with a cash bar

[Anonymous]

I’ve been to one and it surprised me a little but it was a young couple and they prioritized food. They had champagne and wine at the table but everything else was a cash bar.

I’m a little surprised by the responses on here calling it tacky. Everyone with good manners know you adjust to whatever situation you are presented with in social settings with grace. It’s tacky to call it tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been to one and it surprised me a little but it was a young couple and they prioritized food. They had champagne and wine at the table but everything else was a cash bar.

I’m a little surprised by the responses on here calling it tacky. Everyone with good manners know you adjust to whatever situation you are presented with in social settings with grace. It’s tacky to call it tacky.

I've been to many weddings (one as the groom, several as a groomsman and others as a guest). Obviously every wedding has its own budget. But from a guest's perspective you're paying to travel to the wedding, paying to stay at a hotel and contributing a gift. Paying for drinks just feels like being nickel-and-dimed. To give an example in the opposite direction: At one wedding I attended the bride and groom went to the hotel they'd booked and provided goodie bags of snacks for every room in their block. These were greatly appreciated by those arriving hungry after a long day of travel. Sometimes the little things matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Not a big deal.

I’d imagine the people who are “upset” about it wanted to pounded down 3-8 drinks that night for free. Now that’s tacky at a wedding.

Lol "pounded" and this grammar from this judgey person. As if 3 drinks over multiple hours is the same as 8!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Aren't there some Boston people on this board? I have been to a number of cash bar weddings there.

+1. The only cash bar wedding I have ever attended was in a suburb of Boston.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a guest at a wedding. Unless there are religious reasons, or the bride or groom are AA members, there should be no charge to guests for anything. Full stop.

Ending a sentence with “full stop” is rude, obnoxious and ineffective. Google it. There are Reddits on the subject. Use words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of cultures don’t drink at all. I guess OP would be extremely offended at those weddings.

Alcoholics, specially closeted alcoholics who need booze to go through social events, would be offended but normal people wouldn't blink an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes.

Not a big deal.

I’d imagine the people who are “upset” about it wanted to pound down 3-8 drinks that night for free. Now that’s tacky at a wedding.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a guest at a wedding. Unless there are religious reasons, or the bride or groom are AA members, there should be no charge to guests for anything. Full stop.

Ending a sentence with “full stop” is rude, obnoxious and ineffective. Google it. There are Reddits on the subject. Use words.

Didn’t some scotus lady start writing court briefs all slang and goofy like that. I hope that stops for those.
For DCUM IDC.

[Anonymous]

If a cash bar will be in place I would think it best to inform guests so they can come prepared.

Because nowadays not many people carry around cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a guest at a wedding. Unless there are religious reasons, or the bride or groom are AA members, there should be no charge to guests for anything. Full stop.

Ending a sentence with “full stop” is rude, obnoxious and ineffective. Google it. There are Reddits on the subject. Use words.

"Full stop" are words, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are a guest at a wedding. Unless there are religious reasons, or the bride or groom are AA members, there should be no charge to guests for anything. Full stop.

Ending a sentence with “full stop” is rude, obnoxious and ineffective. Google it. There are Reddits on the subject. Use words.

"Full stop" are words, actually.

The are words that indicate punctuation, as opposed to words that add meaning to the sentence. They are the move of a weak writer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been to one and it surprised me a little but it was a young couple and they prioritized food. They had champagne and wine at the table but everything else was a cash bar.

I’m a little surprised by the responses on here calling it tacky. Everyone with good manners know you adjust to whatever situation you are presented with in social settings with grace. It’s tacky to call it tacky.

I've been to many weddings (one as the groom, several as a groomsman and others as a guest). Obviously every wedding has its own budget. But from a guest's perspective you're paying to travel to the wedding, paying to stay at a hotel and contributing a gift. Paying for drinks just feels like being nickel-and-dimed. To give an example in the opposite direction: At one wedding I attended the bride and groom went to the hotel they'd booked and provided goodie bags of snacks for every room in their block. These were greatly appreciated by those arriving hungry after a long day of travel. Sometimes the little things matter.

Uh yeah. Yes, I’m aware of how some wedding hosts provide little gifts etc. In most cases, it’s stuff no one wants but ok.

But that doesn’t change anything I said. It is classless to view or comment on someone’s budget or the money spent on their wedding. If a couple is on a budget, fine by me. I’m not going to begrudge them paying for the wedding they can afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to one cash bar wedding. The couple had just graduated college, lived in the Midwest, and were somewhat religious and not big drinkers themselves. So it was sort of like, “if you want booze, it’s available, but we’re not breaking the bank to provide you with it.” There was also a dollar dance, which I have never seen since then.

PP who has been to tons of weddings at fire halls with cash bars. Dollar dances always happened, even where there was an open bar. And there was always a chicken dance and a bunch of other polkas.

I don’t find it tacky at all. I think it’s ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. No one is forcing anyone to drink or do the dollar dance. But if you choose to, it’s available and it’s always cheap.

Going into debt for a wedding is absolutely ridiculous you’re correct. So have the wedding you can afford. If that’s a smaller guest list, a venue that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars to rent, serving only wine and beer (or not serving alcohol at all, even), then that’s completely fine. You can have a lovely wedding at any price point. Having a larger wedding than you can afford and then expecting your guests to foot the bill is what’s tacky.

People on here do not understand manners and grace. If a couple wants to have a cash bar for alcohol, that’s their choice. It’s not tacky. If you don’t want to pay for a drink, don’t. If you can’t live without a drink at a wedding, you have bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to one cash bar wedding. The couple had just graduated college, lived in the Midwest, and were somewhat religious and not big drinkers themselves. So it was sort of like, “if you want booze, it’s available, but we’re not breaking the bank to provide you with it.” There was also a dollar dance, which I have never seen since then.

PP who has been to tons of weddings at fire halls with cash bars. Dollar dances always happened, even where there was an open bar. And there was always a chicken dance and a bunch of other polkas.

I don’t find it tacky at all. I think it’s ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. No one is forcing anyone to drink or do the dollar dance. But if you choose to, it’s available and it’s always cheap.

Going into debt for a wedding is absolutely ridiculous you’re correct. So have the wedding you can afford. If that’s a smaller guest list, a venue that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars to rent, serving only wine and beer (or not serving alcohol at all, even), then that’s completely fine. You can have a lovely wedding at any price point. Having a larger wedding than you can afford and then expecting your guests to foot the bill is what’s tacky.

People on here do not understand manners and grace. If a couple wants to have a cash bar for alcohol, that’s their choice. It’s not tacky. If you don’t want to pay for a drink, don’t. If you can’t live without a drink at a wedding, you have bigger issues.

+1.

If you cannot have fun for one night without alcohol, you are an alcoholic. That said, I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I have been to one with no alcohol because of their religious beliefs, and the wedding was nice.