Weddings with a cash bar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been to one cash bar wedding. The couple had just graduated college, lived in the Midwest, and were somewhat religious and not big drinkers themselves. So it was sort of like, “if you want booze, it’s available, but we’re not breaking the bank to provide you with it.” There was also a dollar dance, which I have never seen since then.

PP who has been to tons of weddings at fire halls with cash bars. Dollar dances always happened, even where there was an open bar. And there was always a chicken dance and a bunch of other polkas.

I don’t find it tacky at all. I think it’s ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. No one is forcing anyone to drink or do the dollar dance. But if you choose to, it’s available and it’s always cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I paid for our own smallish wedding (50 people). We had a very fancy cocktail hour with open bar and a 4 course sit down dinner with wine service and open bar. After the dinner was over, we had dancing for a few hours and had cash bar (credit card) for that portion to stay within our budget. No one seemed to mind and understood up front to do most of their drinking for the first 3-4 hours of the event.

That's smart when guests are driving. I would have enjoyed your wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to one cash bar wedding. The couple had just graduated college, lived in the Midwest, and were somewhat religious and not big drinkers themselves. So it was sort of like, “if you want booze, it’s available, but we’re not breaking the bank to provide you with it.” There was also a dollar dance, which I have never seen since then.

PP who has been to tons of weddings at fire halls with cash bars. Dollar dances always happened, even where there was an open bar. And there was always a chicken dance and a bunch of other polkas.

I don’t find it tacky at all. I think it’s ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. No one is forcing anyone to drink or do the dollar dance. But if you choose to, it’s available and it’s always cheap.

No one is forcing you to eat, either, but would you say a couple that offers the option of food but doesn’t cover the cost is being gracious?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone ever gone to a wedding with a cash bar?

We were completely caught off guard by it and my husband had to leave the venue to find an ATM to get money.

It was VERY tacky in my opinion.

Serving a toxin at a wedding is tacky, free or otherwise. You and your DH could've survived the event without having a need to drink so going to ATM so you must drink, is a separate problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been to one cash bar wedding. The couple had just graduated college, lived in the Midwest, and were somewhat religious and not big drinkers themselves. So it was sort of like, “if you want booze, it’s available, but we’re not breaking the bank to provide you with it.” There was also a dollar dance, which I have never seen since then.

PP who has been to tons of weddings at fire halls with cash bars. Dollar dances always happened, even where there was an open bar. And there was always a chicken dance and a bunch of other polkas.

I don’t find it tacky at all. I think it’s ridiculous to go into debt for a wedding. No one is forcing anyone to drink or do the dollar dance. But if you choose to, it’s available and it’s always cheap.

Going into debt for a wedding is absolutely ridiculous you’re correct. So have the wedding you can afford. If that’s a smaller guest list, a venue that doesn’t cost thousands of dollars to rent, serving only wine and beer (or not serving alcohol at all, even), then that’s completely fine. You can have a lovely wedding at any price point. Having a larger wedding than you can afford and then expecting your guests to foot the bill is what’s tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, years ago. It’s not a big deal to me because I’m not a big drinker. The couple didn’t have a lot of money and they wanted to prioritize food, so they had a cash bar. I do think letting people know in advance is the right thing to do, but otherwise it’s not a huge deal. It’s just one night.

This^. Also people should feel free not to waste money on serving alcohol. Food is essential if you are inviting people but even that doesn't have to break your bank. People who love you, wont mind. Ones who would mind, they shouldn't be there anyway.

[Anonymous]

It is fine. This is the rich DCUM snobbery coming through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty common where I’m from. Only wealthy people had open bars. And there weren’t many wealthy people. However usually it’s noted on the invitation.

It’s also common to have receptions in fire halls with a sandwich bar. So there’s that. We all loved them and they were the norm.

I don't care how poor you are, you can always afford a keg and a dozen magnums of Gallo.

Then you guys will be complaining that they served cheap drinks.

Wrong. I love keg beer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're sampling the wrong audience for this question. Most people posting on DCUM are UMC and come from those backgrounds. There are a few posters that have stated this is normal where they come from. For a major city--DC, NYC, San Francisco, it would be seen as odd. But for a small town in Arkansas, it might be considered perfectly normal.

There are parts of DC, NY, and SF where poeple are not wealthy and church basement, at home, cash bar weddings are normal.

+1 The last two weddings I went to in the DMV were at a courthouse followed by dinner at a restaurant and a church followed by reception in the basement. The idea that everyone in DC has a $200k wedding is laughable. Even my friends with more money tended to get married in their hometown where their relatives wouldn't have to travel and the budget stretched further!

Cool story, br o.

A keg of Heineken costs $167 at Dixie Liquor. And two cases of Santa Barbara wine will set you back $144. Thats a grand total of $311. Where does your BS 200K come into play?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, years ago. It’s not a big deal to me because I’m not a big drinker. The couple didn’t have a lot of money and they wanted to prioritize food, so they had a cash bar. I do think letting people know in advance is the right thing to do, but otherwise it’s not a huge deal. It’s just one night.

This. I mean, I get that is considered tacky, but I just don't like this notion that poor people should not be able to celebrate their wedding or invite as many people as they want or whatever. I'd love a heads up so I had money on me, but I'd certainly prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding. I feel lucky that my dad could pay for the wedding we wanted. But it is just luck.

To me it is way tackier to need alcohol to get through a function than it is to decide not to spend a ton of money on an open bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tacky, the bride and groom should get a keg or cheap wine.

You may have a problem if you'd rather drink cheap wine than nothing at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cash bar is better than a dry wedding. I'm happy to pay my own way if the new couple (or their parents) are tight on money.

I disagree. I can enjoy an evening without alcohol but being asked to pay for beverages at a wedding I’ve been invited to is tacky.

This makes no sense. Just don't pay for drinks then.

[Anonymous]

I absolutely hate cash bars. I haven't been to one in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, years ago. It’s not a big deal to me because I’m not a big drinker. The couple didn’t have a lot of money and they wanted to prioritize food, so they had a cash bar. I do think letting people know in advance is the right thing to do, but otherwise it’s not a huge deal. It’s just one night.

This. I mean, I get that is considered tacky, but I just don't like this notion that poor people should not be able to celebrate their wedding or invite as many people as they want or whatever. I'd love a heads up so I had money on me, but I'd certainly prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding. I feel lucky that my dad could pay for the wedding we wanted. But it is just luck.

To me it is way tackier to need alcohol to get through a function than it is to decide not to spend a ton of money on an open bar.

It may not be a need, but it sure makes the reception fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're sampling the wrong audience for this question. Most people posting on DCUM are UMC and come from those backgrounds. There are a few posters that have stated this is normal where they come from. For a major city--DC, NYC, San Francisco, it would be seen as odd. But for a small town in Arkansas, it might be considered perfectly normal.

There are parts of DC, NY, and SF where poeple are not wealthy and church basement, at home, cash bar weddings are normal.

+1 The last two weddings I went to in the DMV were at a courthouse followed by dinner at a restaurant and a church followed by reception in the basement. The idea that everyone in DC has a $200k wedding is laughable. Even my friends with more money tended to get married in their hometown where their relatives wouldn't have to travel and the budget stretched further!

Cool story, br o.

A keg of Heineken costs $167 at Dixie Liquor. And two cases of Santa Barbara wine will set you back $144. Thats a grand total of $311. Where does your BS 200K come into play?

I had an open bar and love drinking and dancing at weddings.

But bluntly most venues are not just letting you bring in some cheap alcohol. You have to buy it thru them and pay for the bartenders and whole thing as a significant charge.