Video Game Culture- any way to avoid it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
We bought a switch for my 7 year old. he had been complaining "his friends have it", but he hasn't played with it since the last playdate. It's not that he hasn't asked, but it's for "playdates" only. That's our compromise.

At 7?? My 7 yr old doesn’t even know what a switch is.

Really? We don't have a switch but my 7yo absolutely knows what it is, some of his friends have it.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have any video games, social media, or iPads that can be used for entertainment in our house. Our kids are 7 and almost 10. On play dates with friends they go bowling, ice skating, have movie nights, play outside, ride bikes, build forts, go to the pool, play board/card games, do crafts, etc. It doesn’t seem to have a big social downside so far.

I am pretty old school. My parents raised me in the 80s with no TV. They were kind of hippie and had their own garden, we took music and creative writing lessons, we played outside a lot. Times are different but I am trying to give my kids that kind of childhood with very hands on experiences. I also worry about how addictive these experiences are by design. Not a good idea to set developing minds up for addiction.

[Anonymous]

^^ meant 10 and almost 7.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another hard part is my husband doesn't see what the big deal is since he played unlimited video games as a kid and now as an adult doesn't play at all (one of my criteria when dating was no gamers!)

I think Gen X and Millennial moms freak out about video games much more than dads do, because you didn't play video games growing up. All my male friends played video games when we were younger, going back to the Atari 2600 for many of us. It was a normal pastime for us, and we generally turned out just fine. So, when I see my kids playing Fortnight with their friends, it doesn't really bother me.

Gen X (Atari 2600 and Nintendo) mom here. I see some pitfalls in this generation's video game scene that simply didn't exist in our day.

Yeah, I had to laugh about the PP who smugly proclaimed that her MIL solved the problem by throwing the TV in the trash. So her DH is an adult now, so it was what — like an Atari or the original Nintendo (short games, press A to jump, ended quickly when you “died”)? Vs now, when it’s all online and the foundation of most boys’ social lives?

Yeah, sure. Just “throw away the TV.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really easy to avoid at 7. Not so easy around 11-12 and on. Just don’t have the system in your home and enjoy the next few years while you can.

This just isn't true. We have a switch and a ps5. Tweens/teens play maybe 2 hours a month. They are busy with friends, activities, homework. Video games are for kids with no friends and nothing to do, not the other way around.

Aww,you’re cute. Impressively wrong, but cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately you are simply a loser if you do not play games among kids today. You can restrict video games but your child will be a social outcast. This is how (boys) socialize today

Interesting take.

My 13 year old son does not play video games. We have a gaming system in the basement that we only got last year. He thinks it's boring. He is not a social outcast. He has a group of friend who are boys and girls and they hang out often. He has boys who he is friends with more one-on-one and they come over and hang out. They will sometimes use our gaming system but they watch movies, play air hockey, run around outside, call their friends, etc. And no, he's not on social media either.

My sense of the social order by middle school is the boys who play a lot of video games are perceived as the "losers" and I dislike using that term or referencing coolness or popularity. But no, the video game kids don't seem to be at the top of the social food chain or anything.

Your sense is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another hard part is my husband doesn't see what the big deal is since he played unlimited video games as a kid and now as an adult doesn't play at all (one of my criteria when dating was no gamers!)

I think Gen X and Millennial moms freak out about video games much more than dads do, because you didn't play video games growing up. All my male friends played video games when we were younger, going back to the Atari 2600 for many of us. It was a normal pastime for us, and we generally turned out just fine. So, when I see my kids playing Fortnight with their friends, it doesn't really bother me.

Gen X (Atari 2600 and Nintendo) mom here. I see some pitfalls in this generation's video game scene that simply didn't exist in our day.

Come on, nobody caught this? "pitfalls".

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitfall!

[Anonymous]

Just whatever you do, keep your preteen and teen kids away from Discord.
Like far far away.
The “moderators” can be literally anyone who has the unlimited time to “donate” to the site and are paid in contributions from the community. And these mods have nearly unlimited access to the minds of your gaming teens all while you think “what’s the harm in my kid just hopping online to play video games and chat to other gamers in this ‘community’?”
But just think about what kind of “adults” have the time or inclination to serve as mods in this online community.
If this immediately conjure up images of some 24-year-old outcast college dropout Johnny in his mom’s basement fashioning himself a leader of a new revolution as he smokes weed and rails about the evils of communism and cis-gendered totalitarianism—you are basically correctly picturing the guy who does this job.

[Anonymous]

NP. I’ve thought long and hard about it but after a certain age of your kid isn’t allowed video games they are highly likely to become a pariah.
I would let them play what their friends play.
I say this as someone who grew up without the TV and suffering because of it. Even now I still don’t get some of the references. And I remember how I was viewed as weird.
So yeah, my kid plays videogames.

[Anonymous]

Like almost everything, it’s about moderation.

[Anonymous]

Society is so screwed up about this. It's a losing battle. Kids get jealous if everyone else has the games or phones. If you don't give your kid anything, then when they are older they hate you for it.

[Anonymous]

Seek like minded parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Video games are so much better than watching TV and they are a creative and social activity for boys especially. I get keeping very young kids away and not letting kids play more than an hour or so a day, but there is a level is extreme hate on this board towards video games in particular that I find hard to understand. There is also a level of smugness / superiority from some posters, particularly among moms in my opinion, who have never played video games growing up, and don’t see the appeal themselves.

Disagree. Kids will get bored watching TV and will stop after an hour or so. But many would play video games for hours on end.

When does an 8 year old have “hours on end”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Video games are so much better than watching TV and they are a creative and social activity for boys especially. I get keeping very young kids away and not letting kids play more than an hour or so a day, but there is a level is extreme hate on this board towards video games in particular that I find hard to understand. There is also a level of smugness / superiority from some posters, particularly among moms in my opinion, who have never played video games growing up, and don’t see the appeal themselves.

Disagree. Kids will get bored watching TV and will stop after an hour or so. But many would play video games for hours on end.

When does an 8 year old have “hours on end”?

Before every kid/teen was overscheduled. I agree with this poster though. I don't really believe a kid would play for that long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are children being massacred in large numbers now and this is what you're concerned about....I feel sorry for you that you have zero perspective.

Video games can get quite violent and de sensitizing. It’s not an entirely unrelated subject.

dp You pick non violent games, of course! Mario Kart, Animal Crossing new horizons, Marto party, Wonder..all non violent and fun games! Of course have limits but, you don't eat dessert at every meal, right?

Not all violence is equal. Some violence is so fantastical to be of zero impact (killing aliens or bombing targets). The sort of stuff that kids could actually replicate seems much more problematic, like GrandTheft auto, etc. By the same token, reality TV or videos with folks behaving badly (eg, meangirling) is likely tons more toxic than ripping out someone’s heart in mortal combat!!