Flame away if you must, but please tell me WYWD?
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Anonymous
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I regularly go to a gym with childcare. Yesterday, I had my youngest child in there, and when I went to do pickup, there was an adult sized special needs child there too.
The SN child was running around and yelling. As I was picking up my child to leave, I witnessed a staff member refuse to be in the child area because of the child. She said that the child had been violent to her in the past and that she was scared for the youngest kids in the child care area. There was a newly walking 1 year old there as well. I suppose because of the age of the SN child, the ratio is still 10:1, so there was only 1 staff for about 6 kids. It made me very nervous that an unpredictable, adult sized person with the mental capacity of a toddler (as it appeared) would be left with minimal supervision around young kids. I was sexually abused as a child, so I don't know if that is clouding my judgement, but I felt scared and did not feel like my child was safe. It was time to go anyway, so I took my child and left. The whole situation made me very uncomfortable, and I'm wondering if I should feel differently? How to handle next time? I can sympathize with the mom who probably just wanted a workout too, and I assume the gym can be sued for discrimination if they didn't allow the child in. It's a tough situation all around. Any advice? |
Anonymous
| So don't use the gym childcare then. I personally think you're being ridiculous and discriminatory. Do you think this SN child is going to start molesting your kid in the middle of the daycare when the ratios of child to staff are appropriate? |
Anonymous
Well, I don't think the ratios are appropriate. At my child's public school, this SN child would have a 1:1 person with them. The child made a "cave" under the slide area in the gym, and that's a place that my son also likes to play, that's where the molestation fear is coming from. |
Anonymous
| I think as parents we have to pay attention to our instincts and protect our children as top priority. If something about the situation (any situation) makes you nervous, you have to make the best call for you and your child in the moment. If it were me, I probably wouldn't say anything about the SN child, but I probably also wouldn't leave my newly walking 1 year old in gym daycare, if there were any kids above young-toddler age. You don't mention how old your child is. That would make a difference to me, along with their personality. But in this case, because even a staff member was vocalizing concerns for safety, I probably wouldn't have left my kid (or left immediately, as you did.) |
Anonymous
| NP. I agree that jumping to molestation is an overreaction. However, sometimes there are children who are too rough, who don't listen, etc. If they're in your DC's class, they're unavoidable. In this instance, they are easily avoidable. Don't use the gym daycare. |
Anonymous
NP. Yes, I think your concerns about molestation are overblown, especially reading this. If you don't feel safe leaving your child there, then don't. But I don't think molestation would be my biggest concern in this situation- I would be worried about the older child stepping on or knocking over my kid. |
Anonymous
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I thought you said the SN kid has a mental capacity of a toddler. I doubt a "toddler " has the know-how to do anything but be a toddler.
How old is the SN kid? Most gym child cares have age limits no matter what the mental capacity. |
Anonymous
| How old is this child? You keep saying "adult sized" but surely there's an age limit to the childcare? And did you see this child behave inappropriately? |
Anonymous
+100 You're looking for an excuse Op. |
Anonymous
| What time of day was this? If it was during the school day maybe the SN child was on spring break and it won't be a problem next week. How old was the child? |
Anonymous
I think this is incorrect. Adult people with the mental capacity of a child still have the physical body of an adult and may desire a physical relationship. However, gym daycare seems like the wrong place for that. |
Anonymous
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I would ask the gym childcare whether the care of older SN kids is something they are prepared for in the future, if not how they will get prepared, and if they plan to just keep doing the same thing, I would be changing gyms.
The SN kid has every right to a safe and appropriate place to be (and his caregiver every right to some super-rare downtime), but in a space with typically developing toddlers and not enough staff is not that place. |
Anonymous
| I would not be comfortable with that, given the staff member's experience with the child. Not because of molestation concerns, but because of concerns that the child could be violent or rough with the smaller, younger kids. I would ask what the gym's policy is on size/age restrictions in the childcare setting. |
Anonymous
| What is the age limit of your gym's child card? And what do you mean by an "adult size" kid? |
Anonymous
| I would just not use the childcare there again if I were uncomfortable. |