Worried: how true is the whole 'it either happens quickly or takes a LONG time' thing?

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant with my first the second month we tried, 3 years ago. We've been TTC #2 for 6 months now (currently on our 7th) - I temp so I know we've been hitting the right timing. I know they SAY it can take normal couples up to a year of trying, but I can't help but worry...obviously this is anecdotal but pretty much everyone I know has either gotten pregnant in the first two or three months OR ended up in a long infertility battle and requiring assistance. I really hope this isn't coming off as insensitive, I'm just looking for a gut check: in your experience is it actually common that it takes longer but nothing ends up being wrong? Or should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

It took me a year to conceive my first baby. Part of it was due to very long cycles. My first menstrual cycle after stopping birth control was 60 days long XD Then it settled down to around 40 days. Nothing was wrong, at least not that we knew of. I had an appointment with an infertility clinic a month after I got pregnant. We started trying for our second baby and I'm prepared for a 1+ year wait. I'm 33 now by the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It took me a year to conceive my first baby. Part of it was due to very long cycles. My first menstrual cycle after stopping birth control was 60 days long XD Then it settled down to around 40 days. Nothing was wrong, at least not that we knew of. I had an appointment with an infertility clinic a month after I got pregnant. We started trying for our second baby and I'm prepared for a 1+ year wait. I'm 33 now by the way.

Very similar experience here but with less long cycles (33ish days) with a short luteal phase. Took 10 months to get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

There are infinite possibilities - truly. There's no rule that if it doesn't happen in X cycles then you're condemned to having an issue.

Please try to breathe and take it one month at a time.

(with much love from someone who took 2.5 years and $35k to get pregnant after many many fertility cycles the first time, but #2 and #3 were surprises with no treatment at all).

[Anonymous]

Was your first a boy, by chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was your first a boy, by chance?

DP but why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was your first a boy, by chance?

DP but why?

Because there can be a connection between underlying immune issues and a first child who is male. Reproductive immunology is a rabbit hole not everyone wants to go down, but there’s a huge community out there.

http://www.preventmiscarriage.com/when-should-a-patient-consult-with-us-.html

[Anonymous]

My daughter was conceived on first month of trying.

12 years later......

thinking she will be an only.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say, OP. I have been there and I wish I had the answer for you.

Maybe try thinking of it this way. A couple with no issues has roughly a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle with proper timing. It's very possible you or your partner has an "issue" but this issue may only mean you are sub-fertile, not infertile. So it doesn't mean that you will never get pregnant without medical intervention, it may mean that your chances are only 10%, etc. So it is very possible that you will get pregnant next month, or the month after, etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It took me a year to conceive my first baby. Part of it was due to very long cycles. My first menstrual cycle after stopping birth control was 60 days long XD Then it settled down to around 40 days. Nothing was wrong, at least not that we knew of. I had an appointment with an infertility clinic a month after I got pregnant. We started trying for our second baby and I'm prepared for a 1+ year wait. I'm 33 now by the way.

Very similar experience here but with less long cycles (33ish days) with a short luteal phase. Took 10 months to get pregnant.

Same here. 35-40 day cycles and I was 27 when we started. It took about a year and a half. We started trying for #2 much earlier than we were really ready for because we figured it would take a while and I got pregnant the first month. That ended in an early miscarriage and then I had a successful pregnancy after the first period I had following the miscarriage.

[Anonymous]

I have regular cycles and long luteal phases. With temping and timing, it took six months. It took a friend 9 months. Taking Charge of Your Fertility says it's not too soon to seek preliminary testing after six cycles of well timed sex. You may be subfertile and it will just take longer, or there may be an issue. Sorry, OP, I know the frustration and worry. If I were in your shoes, I would schedule a semen analysis and preliminary bloodwork for you. Can't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Pregnant with first child on second cycle of trying. Took 18 cycles of well timed trying to conceive kid #2. I have physiological issues, so it’s not surprising it took a while, but by that point I had pretty much given up and decided to seek assistance. Really lucky and hoping we can grow our family more.

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. We conceived our first child on our first try. Second child took 8 months and that was with temping, charting, and preseed. We did get initial fertility testing done after a few months of trying because of our ages (I was 38, DH was 40) and there were no obvious issues (I had pretty average numbers). I don’t know why it took 8 months when it happened so quickly the first time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant with my first the second month we tried, 3 years ago. We've been TTC #2 for 6 months now (currently on our 7th) - I temp so I know we've been hitting the right timing. I know they SAY it can take normal couples up to a year of trying, but I can't help but worry...obviously this is anecdotal but pretty much everyone I know has either gotten pregnant in the first two or three months OR ended up in a long infertility battle and requiring assistance. I really hope this isn't coming off as insensitive, I'm just looking for a gut check: in your experience is it actually common that it takes longer but nothing ends up being wrong? Or should I be worried?

I think the trying for a year thing doesn't apply when you are charting and temping or using OPKs. The a year trying/20 percent thing i think only applies if you are not using protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant with my first the second month we tried, 3 years ago. We've been TTC #2 for 6 months now (currently on our 7th) - I temp so I know we've been hitting the right timing. I know they SAY it can take normal couples up to a year of trying, but I can't help but worry...obviously this is anecdotal but pretty much everyone I know has either gotten pregnant in the first two or three months OR ended up in a long infertility battle and requiring assistance. I really hope this isn't coming off as insensitive, I'm just looking for a gut check: in your experience is it actually common that it takes longer but nothing ends up being wrong? Or should I be worried?

I think the trying for a year thing doesn't apply when you are charting and temping or using OPKs. The a year trying/20 percent thing i think only applies if you are not using protection.

How many months is it then?