My 13 yo weighs 80 pounds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

I reported this post and requested that admin call for a police welfare check. This is <1%ile well beyond the realm of normal, into extremely dangerous. I pray this comment's numbers were a typo.

Not a typo! Bring on the welfare check. I’ve taken her to the doctor every year for a well checkup since she was born. Actually, she goes to the doctor for everything. I’ve spoken to them about how to make her gain weight and after years the Dr said “this is just her curve. As long as she’s growing up, let’s not worry about her growing out”. She was born a premie, so we’ve monitored this closely since birth. Seriously, this is genetic. Her grandmother and aunt were the same way. She eats normally. My husband is 6’ and weighs 140 - he eats like a horse. My younger child is also 1% for weight, she’s short for her age so it’s less obvious. I’ve taken her to the doctor specifically about her small size and the Dr looked at me and simply said “aww this one takes after mom.”. I’m also very petite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

87 lbs at 5'7"?? PP, you are either disordered yourself or you are ignoring/abetting a very sick child.

Calm down! Yes, she’s skinny. I know that. Healthy weight is a range and depends on a lot of factors. Just like a child can be very heavy and still be healthy a child can also be very light and be healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

87 lbs at 5'7"?? PP, you are either disordered yourself or you are ignoring/abetting a very sick child.

Calm down! Yes, she’s skinny. I know that. Healthy weight is a range and depends on a lot of factors. Just like a child can be very heavy and still be healthy a child can also be very light and be healthy.

NP, but you posting here seems wildly inappropriate. Clearly your DD stats are near skeletal. While that may be her “normal” OP’s daughter, and probably a lot of the posters here have or have kids that have struggled with an ED and this is not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We believe she has an eating disorder. She drastically reduced her food intake the past 2-3 months. Yes, people are missing the point, it’s the weight loss we’re worried about and not the overall weight. Getting her seen today by a doctor.

Yes, the point is the CHANGE not the size. I hope your daughter is OK. I can only imagine the worry.

I am the poster with the 5’7” daughter who is 87lbs and you can see from those responses people are quick to judge and criticize. I have been to see a doctor with both my skinny kids. The older one used to get made fun of at school “what your parents don’t feed you?” type thing. Comments like that really hurt her feelings, because there was nothing she could do and people actually did think she had an eating disorder. For us, we were told it was normal - she has always been very skinny. Right before a growth spurt she would hit 5% weight and then drop right back off the chart as she started to grow.

Is your daughter going through friend drama? My DD said there is a group of girls that will only have bread and lemonade at school, so they are encouraging each other. (My DD eats burritos and cheeseburgers because she does track and swimming afterschool and needs the energy). If you can figure out the cause - whether physical, social, or emotional - it will be easier to resolve the symptoms (weight loss). Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

87 lbs at 5'7"?? PP, you are either disordered yourself or you are ignoring/abetting a very sick child.

Calm down! Yes, she’s skinny. I know that. Healthy weight is a range and depends on a lot of factors. Just like a child can be very heavy and still be healthy a child can also be very light and be healthy.

NP, but you posting here seems wildly inappropriate. Clearly your DD stats are near skeletal. While that may be her “normal” OP’s daughter, and probably a lot of the posters here have or have kids that have struggled with an ED and this is not helpful.

I’m sorry that YOU don’t find it helpful; someone else might. I agree with OP the problem is when there is a CHANGE, not necessarily the height and weight - but most posters seem to be missing that. Disordered eating is about the HABITS, not the physical symptom - that was my point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My new 13 year old girl is 5’3” and weighs 130 pounds. All her friends are similar. Fit healthy (none heavy) soccer girls.

Get your child to the ER immediately, OP.

Actually your kid is overweight on the BMI scale, so let’s quit with the craziness.

Get your kid to the ER? What is the ER going to do when a kid with no health problems walks into the ER?

I agree. The ER is a bad suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My new 13 year old girl is 5’3” and weighs 130 pounds. All her friends are similar. Fit healthy (none heavy) soccer girls.

Get your child to the ER immediately, OP.

Actually your kid is overweight on the BMI scale, so let’s quit with the craziness.

Get your kid to the ER? What is the ER going to do when a kid with no health problems walks into the ER?

Incorrect. She just had a doctors appointment and she is not overweight.

The information you provided gives a BMI of 23.

This puts your child in the 87th percentile, which means your child is overweight. An ideal BMI for your child's gender and age is between 15.3 and 22.6 .

Overweight is a point at which your child's weight is no longer healthy. This is serious. Although your child isn't yet overweight, work with your healthcare provider—and your child—to keep this from becoming a future problem. An overweight child may develop problems with self-esteem. And healthcare providers have found that overweight children are developing serious health problems such as diabetes early in life that do not develop in children of normal weight.

Overweight children tend to become overweight adults. Being overweight as an adult increases the risk for serious diseases such as stroke, heart attack, diabetes, arthritis, and some forms of cancer. So now is the time to teach your child healthy habits that will last a lifetime.

87th percentile

Please ignore this poster. The BMI was never meant to assess individuals, it was meant to quantify weight in a population. It’s a very imprecise measure, especially for females and athletes. Good luck to you and your DD, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry OP, if your ped has an on call doc or nurse I would call right now. If not, I would go to the ER. The weight itself and the rapid drop are very concerning. She may need cardiac monitoring/stabilization.

My niece was misdiagnosed with anorexia, she had a rare condition called Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome and nearly died. I know there are other issues that present like anorexia and also result in misdiagnosis. Make sure you ask about other possible conditions and have a medical team you really trust.

Quoting myself here because I don’t get the umbrage about the ER. I said what I would do, explained why, and shared some important information that our extended family learned the hard way. I don’t think OP’s course of action was wrong. I’m glad they have a path that feels safe to them and wish all the best for their DD.

Some people on this board could really benefit from an understanding that there’s rarely a single, exactly right answer. There can be multiple right ways to do something.

[Anonymous]

I just want to commend OP for catching this within a few months of it starting. And OP is seeking very quick intervention. I wish OP all the best in this journey.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was in the same situation with my daughter a year ago, and it was anorexia that went undiagnosed for months. She was in-patient for 6 weeks, and got down to 65 lbs before she finally started to eat again, and it is a very scary and deadly illness. She is now eating well but still has some ED behaviors and fear foods, and the biggest issue for her now is the long term mental health impacts of it all. Be aware that many doctors and therapists are not knowledgeable about eating disorders, but trained just to check BMI, which really is a useless metric. Her pediatrician said I was wrong to suspect ED despite dropping 110 to 80 lbs, and despite my concerns that she didn't eat enough, because "she was still in an acceptable BMI range". Even her therapist at the time gave her the EAT-26 and determined she didn't have an ED, but she had lied on every question. You should seek providers who specialize in ED to get a real diagnosis (and unfortunately that means usually going out of network for insurance). Patients with eating disorders will lie to hide the ED, it is all a part of the symptoms of the disorder.
If you haven't, try to find what is on her devices. Has she been looking at pro-ana content or anything else that could demonstrate Ed or body image issues?
There are much better resources out there for you than the awful commentary found on DCUM. Check out the ATDTfb Facebook group for support from other parents, and the Feast newsletter: https://www.feast-ed.org/at-the-feast-table/
And here are some other resources recommended by my daughter's wonderful current therapist: https://coastalcollaborativecare.com/resources/
Rock Recovery also has great outpatient support groups and resources. Good luck and I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

87 lbs at 5'7"?? PP, you are either disordered yourself or you are ignoring/abetting a very sick child.

Calm down! Yes, she’s skinny. I know that. Healthy weight is a range and depends on a lot of factors. Just like a child can be very heavy and still be healthy a child can also be very light and be healthy.

NP, but you posting here seems wildly inappropriate. Clearly your DD stats are near skeletal. While that may be her “normal” OP’s daughter, and probably a lot of the posters here have or have kids that have struggled with an ED and this is not helpful.

I’m sorry that YOU don’t find it helpful; someone else might. I agree with OP the problem is when there is a CHANGE, not necessarily the height and weight - but most posters seem to be missing that. Disordered eating is about the HABITS, not the physical symptom - that was my point.

Clearly YOU missed that. Your always thin and following her own curve, slowing growing, dr not concerned, etc. daughter’s height and weight is totally irrelevant here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her weight is not the issue, its the weight loss and changed eating habits.

My 13 yo also weighs 80 pounds. But that is her normal weight - she gains a little each year as she grows.

+1
My 14 year old weights 87lbs and is 5'7". She has always been skinny, so this is her normal. I would worry about the emotional issues attached to the changed behaviors.

87 lbs at 5'7"?? PP, you are either disordered yourself or you are ignoring/abetting a very sick child.

Calm down! Yes, she’s skinny. I know that. Healthy weight is a range and depends on a lot of factors. Just like a child can be very heavy and still be healthy a child can also be very light and be healthy.

NP, but you posting here seems wildly inappropriate. Clearly your DD stats are near skeletal. While that may be her “normal” OP’s daughter, and probably a lot of the posters here have or have kids that have struggled with an ED and this is not helpful.

I’m sorry that YOU don’t find it helpful; someone else might. I agree with OP the problem is when there is a CHANGE, not necessarily the height and weight - but most posters seem to be missing that. Disordered eating is about the HABITS, not the physical symptom - that was my point.

Clearly YOU missed that. Your always thin and following her own curve, slowing growing, dr not concerned, etc. daughter’s height and weight is totally irrelevant here

Pp strikes me as one of those disordered eating people that always draws attention to what she eats or how she looks. Probably does the same to her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My new 13 year old girl is 5’3” and weighs 130 pounds. All her friends are similar. Fit healthy (none heavy) soccer girls.

Get your child to the ER immediately, OP.

Actually your kid is overweight on the BMI scale, so let’s quit with the craziness.

Get your kid to the ER? What is the ER going to do when a kid with no health problems walks into the ER?

Incorrect. She just had a doctors appointment and she is not overweight.

The information you provided gives a BMI of 23.

This puts your child in the 87th percentile, which means your child is overweight. An ideal BMI for your child's gender and age is between 15.3 and 22.6 .

Overweight is a point at which your child's weight is no longer healthy. This is serious. Although your child isn't yet overweight, work with your healthcare provider—and your child—to keep this from becoming a future problem. An overweight child may develop problems with self-esteem. And healthcare providers have found that overweight children are developing serious health problems such as diabetes early in life that do not develop in children of normal weight.

Overweight children tend to become overweight adults. Being overweight as an adult increases the risk for serious diseases such as stroke, heart attack, diabetes, arthritis, and some forms of cancer. So now is the time to teach your child healthy habits that will last a lifetime.

87th percentile

Please ignore this poster. The BMI was never meant to assess individuals, it was meant to quantify weight in a population. It’s a very imprecise measure, especially for females and athletes. Good luck to you and your DD, OP!

I don't think PP was being serious...however, was reacting to a strange holier-than-thou posting that their 5'3" kid at 130 pounds was some tremendous physical specimen, but OP's 5'2" 80lb kid needed to be driven to the ER immediately.

The point is that the BMI for the 80pounder is at the 2%ile while a healthy weight is the 5% - 85%ile. The BMI for the 130lbs is at the 87%ile. OP's kid has dropped a significant amount of weight quickly, but you can have a perfectly healthy 13 year old that is naturally at 80 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone assume eating disorder? It was Celiac's for my cousin. Get her blood work done immediately.

[Anonymous]

OP,
I hope the appointment goes well. Good for you for catching things quickly. I had EDs as a teen and never received proper help which has led to some long lasting health issues. You likely thought it was less of a loss bc it can be camouflaged at first with bulky clothes and layers. Best wishes to your daughter and your family.