Gay Teachers – thinking about quitting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

I disagree. It’s important that gay teachers be open and talk about their sexuality precisely because moronic parents try to shelter their children from the reality that gay people exist. Don’t hide who you are.

Are you crazy?? Teachers should not talk about their “sexuality” - no matter what. THAT is a quick way to get fired. As it should be.

I definitely had female teachers that mentioned their husbands hand children. How is that any different from a gay man mentioning his husband or children?

Referencing your children is not talking about your sexuality. It’s talking about your FAMILY. And there is no need to talk about your family often…a handful of teachers like to overshare. There’s definitely a balance. It’s fine to mention/reference your family, but it’s not fine to tell detailed stories about kids/spouse. Keep it professional and focus on whatever content you are trying to teach. It’s actually simple and most teachers know this, but there’s always a few who go on and on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a gay middle school drama teacher (cliche I know) and the thing that is pushing me out of the field isn't the pandemic or the kids' post-quarantine behavioral problems/mental health crisis, but the idea that I might get accused of "grooming" a student.

The attacks on teachers across the board are so demoralizing but the worsening levels of overt homophobia and transphobia on the right are just so terrifying and exhausting. I love my students. I love teaching. I really don't know if I can stick it out if this is the new normal.

Dont sense this at any of the schools around here, gay pride and trans flags are flown inside and out, May pride month is robust, progressive social studies curricula, and everyone loves the arts. I suppose if adolescents are privately coming up to you for personal advice, do what any teacher would and refer to guidance counselor or their parents.

[Anonymous]

Are false accusations common? Of the incidents I see in the news, all the perpetrators were closet homosexuals. So I would thing straight male teachers could be equally worried of false accusations.

As a parent, I feel equally comfortable with my boy’s openly gay teachers. In fact, one of them was my favorite because I was so impressed with his teaching style.

I wish you didn’t have to worry about this. If teaching is your passion, please don’t stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Every teacher I, or my kids, have ever had started the year telling about themselves, including their spouse, pets, etc. They tell the kids about where they went on school breaks with their spouse. They have family photos on their desks.

You never had a problem with ANY of this, until you used it as an excuse to be an ignorant homophobe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

This. No place in schools for this. Keep it professional and on topic.

Homeschooling or “Christian” school is for you if you can’t handle kids knowing their teacher is married to someone of the same sex. Byeeeeeee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

I can’t think of a single time any of my teachers or professors mentioned a spouse. My husband recalls this was very rare in his case. In any event, mentioning a spouse is fine. Still, teachers should keep their personal lives personal. That will limit any risk. Any male teacher needs to be especially careful. My husband taught for years and worked never to be alone with a student. He also had no cause to mention his personal life. If you truly want suggestions, these will help.

Sounds like our experiences were pretty different. I knew, generally, the marital status (and thus sexuality) of most of my teachers, at least in high school, based on passing things they said in class. It wasn’t a topic of deep discussion, and they weren’t sharing deep personal stories. They were just people living in the world, telling anecdotes to illustrate a point in class or even just making small talk.

The point is, they weren’t worried that referencing their spouse was going to get them accused of grooming children. That’s what OP and other teachers in some parts of the country are facing right now. And the idea that LGBTQ teachers will be fine and free of this sort of harassment and persecution if they just “keep their personal lives private” is absolute bad-faith BS.

Majority of parents don’t care about your sexuality, we want ALL teachers to keep their lives private and separate home from work regardless of their sexuality. My child doesn’t need to know about someone’s wedding day or vacation at the beach whether they’re gay or straight. We want teachers to focus more on teaching and maintain professional boundaries with children because they’re children and not everyone is comfortable with their children knowing certain things at certain ages. Because you don’t know what each family is comfortable with you keep it professional and just teach the curriculum. That’s it, no chit chat, no small talks about your weekend, no asking kids about their opinions on hot button topics or anything like that, just leave everything that isn’t part of the curriculum at the door. If kids have a problem you speak to the guidance counselor privately and they deal with it appropriately and privately. The gay community gets more heat for this topic because of young inexperienced teachers filming themselves and putting it on tiktok so it becomes blatantly obvious to parents that their children are not just being taught the curriculum anymore and they begin to question what else is being taught that they don’t know about. They then find out that the public education system is in disarray and very broken and just want answers that nobody can seem to give them. See LibsOfTikTok on Twitter

Your list of absurd demands is rejected. Enjoy hhomeschooling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

I can’t think of a single time any of my teachers or professors mentioned a spouse. My husband recalls this was very rare in his case. In any event, mentioning a spouse is fine. Still, teachers should keep their personal lives personal. That will limit any risk. Any male teacher needs to be especially careful. My husband taught for years and worked never to be alone with a student. He also had no cause to mention his personal life. If you truly want suggestions, these will help.

Sounds like our experiences were pretty different. I knew, generally, the marital status (and thus sexuality) of most of my teachers, at least in high school, based on passing things they said in class. It wasn’t a topic of deep discussion, and they weren’t sharing deep personal stories. They were just people living in the world, telling anecdotes to illustrate a point in class or even just making small talk.

The point is, they weren’t worried that referencing their spouse was going to get them accused of grooming children. That’s what OP and other teachers in some parts of the country are facing right now. And the idea that LGBTQ teachers will be fine and free of this sort of harassment and persecution if they just “keep their personal lives private” is absolute bad-faith BS.

Majority of parents don’t care about your sexuality, we want ALL teachers to keep their lives private and separate home from work regardless of their sexuality. My child doesn’t need to know about someone’s wedding day or vacation at the beach whether they’re gay or straight. We want teachers to focus more on teaching and maintain professional boundaries with children because they’re children and not everyone is comfortable with their children knowing certain things at certain ages. Because you don’t know what each family is comfortable with you keep it professional and just teach the curriculum. That’s it, no chit chat, no small talks about your weekend, no asking kids about their opinions on hot button topics or anything like that, just leave everything that isn’t part of the curriculum at the door. If kids have a problem you speak to the guidance counselor privately and they deal with it appropriately and privately. The gay community gets more heat for this topic because of young inexperienced teachers filming themselves and putting it on tiktok so it becomes blatantly obvious to parents that their children are not just being taught the curriculum anymore and they begin to question what else is being taught that they don’t know about. They then find out that the public education system is in disarray and very broken and just want answers that nobody can seem to give them. See LibsOfTikTok on Twitter

This vomit of word in no way represents how “most parents” expect teachers to behave, and of course PP knows that. They are arguing in entirely bad faith. It has, of course, been traditional for centuries for students to know female teachers’ marital status because their name reflected that status.

The notion that a majority of teachers were ever impersonal automatons is nonsense, and everyone reading this thread knows it. Growing up in a small southern town in the 60’s NOBODY was anonymous, and I dad many teachers that were wildly inappropriately into my business (asking me questions about my parents) and wildly over shared their own. They were also openly racist and anti-Semitic. As a Jew, whenever I was asked to diagram a sentence in one teachers class, it was something like “Jesus is lord.”

Also, there were absolutely no safeguard to prevent creepy male teachers from molesting girls, and that happened at my high school. The difference now is that we confront stuff like that rather than covering it up.

The “good old days” that PP pines for never existed.

Of course “Libs of TikTok” is juvenile and insipid wingnut propaganda. Surprised that a movement funded by billionaires can’t pay for better marketing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Are you kidding? Teachers reference their spouses ALL THE TIME. It’s totally normal, as it should be. THey are humans.

100% agree. I am constantly talking about this or that experience and with whom. Absolutely normal regardless of sexual orientation and family status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I run a youth org and am gay. A number of staff are LGBTQ. We are located in a diverse small city in the northeast and honestly, I do not worry about being targeted for being gay. I think there has been a significant change in how we interact with youth over the past 10 years. Stuff that we considered normal a decade ago: a student and staff working in our office after hours, giving a young person a ride home, giving a student a gift card as a graduation gift. Now we have a handbook and all of those things are explicitly forbidden. I think maintaining really clear boundaries is important to keep youth safe (even if you would never approach a student sexually, having bad boundaries can normalize that behavior in ways that make young people vulnerable) and to maintain our professional reputations.

Does your school have written policies about how adults can and can't interact with you?

Conservative here. Perfect, perfect statement and being New Englander myself, you exude the practicality I’m so used to from that area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So just to be clear, their straight teachers must also never reference their husband or wife, have no personal photos in their classroom and not wear a wedding band, correct? Because, you know, “sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand.”

Just making sure we’re clear.

NP. Photos, no. Not appropriate. Wedding band says nothing except married, so that’s fine. And the word ‘spouse’ is appropriate. Talk about your dog Scruffy or your cat Whiskers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

How often do straight teachers mention their spouse? Only in elementary school did I sort of hear the teacher talk about their spouse. But that is because with younger kids there is more sharing of personal life and relating school material to it.

With secondary school it rarely comes up unless there is a holiday like Christmas, and they are sharing what they plan to do.

If a gay person says "my husband" or "my wife", I don't think they will get in trouble. But extensive talk about your spouse or partner is a no-no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Every teacher I, or my kids, have ever had started the year telling about themselves, including their spouse, pets, etc. They tell the kids about where they went on school breaks with their spouse. They have family photos on their desks.

You never had a problem with ANY of this, until you used it as an excuse to be an ignorant homophobe.

You are right. But what is happening now is people are going on tiktok and talking about how they "came out" to their class and how they are polyamorous or polygender. That is different than saying you got married the past weekend to someone of the same sex, how you baked cookies with your same sex partner, or go skiing every Christmas break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My advice would be to do your job and not talk about your personal life. In fact, that's the advice for ALL teachers. I'm not sure why my kid's gay language teacher insists on saying things like, "That was a gay thing to say." Sexuality has no place in the classroom because it is irrelevant to the task at hand. Doubtful you will be accused of grooming anyone if you keep your personal life private. Again, that goes for all teachers, not just gay ones.

So, no teachers should ever mention their partners/spouses?

I cannot remember a time when a teacher mentioned or needed to mention their spouse. Good try on trying to push your agenda.

Every teacher I, or my kids, have ever had started the year telling about themselves, including their spouse, pets, etc. They tell the kids about where they went on school breaks with their spouse. They have family photos on their desks.

You never had a problem with ANY of this, until you used it as an excuse to be an ignorant homophobe.

You are right. But what is happening now is people are going on tiktok and talking about how they "came out" to their class and how they are polyamorous or polygender. That is different than saying you got married the past weekend to someone of the same sex, how you baked cookies with your same sex partner, or go skiing every Christmas break.

Not different at all.