If your DC graduated from high school in 2020 or 2021

[Anonymous]

My kid - batch of 2022. Junior year - online. Best outcome because he was able to relax at home and did not have the 2 hr commute.

[Anonymous]

Mine graduated from high school in 2021 and is doing fine, but his self-reliance is pretty much off the charts.

I think a global pandemic is a crappy experience for pretty much everyone. I guess it might be harder for kids who had romantic notions of the magic of senior year, but that stuff holds no charm for my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier in the thread about my 2020 kid. Pivoting towards solutions -- does anyone have any suggestions for how to help our kids (or more accurately help them help themselves) catch up from these deficits?

I can't beat myself up too much for not keeping my DS home for a year for a gap year, because what was there to do? I looked into gap year programs for a hot second but they, like everything else, shut down. And DS was opposed to a gap year anyway.

But apart from therapy, which DS is in -- what else is helpful now? He says he feels like a kid stuck in a 20 year old's body; that everyone else knows how to do things that he doesn't (socially).

Is your child a junior in college? Is he homesick?

It is probably possible for him to take a leave of absence for a semester or a year.

He's not homesick -- he is at UMD and we're in MoCo, so he's always been able to come home whenever he wants (and which was great when covid shut down the dorms suddenly, etc. freshman year). It's that he's having friend group issues at school and he's lonely there without a strong social network that's diversified beyond the HS friend group. It's hard to know at this late date how he starts what he should have been able to do freshman and sophomore years and wasn't -- i.e., meet new kids at a time everyone is timed to meet new people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier in the thread about my 2020 kid. Pivoting towards solutions -- does anyone have any suggestions for how to help our kids (or more accurately help them help themselves) catch up from these deficits?

I can't beat myself up too much for not keeping my DS home for a year for a gap year, because what was there to do? I looked into gap year programs for a hot second but they, like everything else, shut down. And DS was opposed to a gap year anyway.

But apart from therapy, which DS is in -- what else is helpful now? He says he feels like a kid stuck in a 20 year old's body; that everyone else knows how to do things that he doesn't (socially).

Is your child a junior in college? Is he homesick?

It is probably possible for him to take a leave of absence for a semester or a year.

He's not homesick -- he is at UMD and we're in MoCo, so he's always been able to come home whenever he wants (and which was great when covid shut down the dorms suddenly, etc. freshman year). It's that he's having friend group issues at school and he's lonely there without a strong social network that's diversified beyond the HS friend group. It's hard to know at this late date how he starts what he should have been able to do freshman and sophomore years and wasn't -- i.e., meet new kids at a time everyone is timed to meet new people.

I would have him look into club & intramural sports if he has not already. A part-time job could be a good social outlet, too. Maybe clubs like gaming, chess, running or hiking?

But, there is definitely pressure IMO on kids to feel like they’ve had a fairytale college experience. People meet their future wedding parties or spouse, which is lovely, but not all kids do and that’s okay. Social media exacerbates this. If you don’t have enough friends to post on Instagram with, you’re a failure apparently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2020 kid who's really starting to feel the consequences of the pandemic IMO in ways that we're only recognizing now. He and his peers definitely missed out on a lot -- I mean, having his last semester of his HS sport would have been great, and prom, and graduation, but the biggest loss was a normal freshman year when kids are most ready to socialize, meet new friends, and imprint on each other like ducklings. DS held it together really well his first year in a single in the dorm with all remote classes but now he's really feeling it in that all his friends are friends from HS and there's splits in the friend group. As a kid who is shy/introverted anyway, and who really relies on his friends for support, he's feeling stuck because it's just not as easy junior year to find and make new friends for an introverted kid like him.

I know others as well who just pushed through their senior years and their first year or two of college but the wheels have come off in various ways. I just don't think we should underestimate how hard the pandemic and lockdown (as necessary as it was) were on them at a crucial stage in their lives.

I have a 2020 and agree with you. Missing the last eight weeks of senior year festivities was a drag, but probably not damaging. But missing the opportunity to really launch into a new chapter and embrace a new kind of independence was terribly hard on a lot of kids that I know and I’m aware of. I think there was a hope that kids who started college in 2020 would have a real “in this together” experience, but ultimately, I think it was very isolating for so many.

My 2020 was still talking the other day about how it's still so devastating. I have to remind myself to not underestimate and invalidate how she's feeling.

[Anonymous]

My 2020 grad is doing great. Freshman year of college wasn’t as fun as it could have been but he persevered through and is happy as can be. Currently having the time of his life doing a semester abroad and said he had a lot of confidence going into that experience. He feels like if he got through that, he can get through other hard things.

I don’t think he ever had said a word about missing prom, graduation etc since he left for college.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Mine never romanticized their HS years, so they didn't feel cheated of them. They feel lucky to have net had anyone in their family die of Covid though.

[Anonymous]

No. My 2020 DC graduated from college this month & is about to move across the country for their full-time job. Couldn’t be prouder!

[Anonymous]

My 2021 grad got off to a slow start socially his freshman year, but now at the end of his sophomore year he has a good friend group and seems to be happy and settled—and I see him gaining some confidence and maturity, too. The Covid year and a half was isolating for him, but I don’t think he dwells on it or feels stuck because of it.

[Anonymous]

My 2020 HS grad was sad at the time to miss the end of senior year but hasn’t dwelled on it since. She chose a college fully in-person for that fall and hasn’t looked back since. She’s more resilient because she had to adapt to things out of her control being in flux. Everyone had to adapt in a global pandemic so she chose to suck it up and do what needed to be done rather than wallow in self-pity. (My 2021 college grad has a similar mindset)

[Anonymous]

DS was a 2021 at a private that was in-person 3 days a week. He suffered a major injury for the sport he was trying to get recruited to play in college and had to get surgery and do rehab in the fall of 2020. His grades suffered mightily and developed senioritis after surgery and grades never got back on track.

We had him do a gap year, rehab the arm, get back to playing and take college-level classes on a P/T schedule to remedy his GPA. He did get recruited to a D3 school and started last fall as a Freshman. He's now having a great experience but it was a very rocky road along the way.

[Anonymous]

My 2020 HS grad has had a fantastic college experience. She was on campus freshman year but many activities were virtual. Developed close friendship with dorm mates. But now she keep reminding us that she had no HS graduation party, prom, etc so “wants to do it up big” for college graduation. Wtf? Lol!

[Anonymous]

Our 2021 grad wasn’t able to complete a nursing certification she was on track for her senior year and basically gave up. Took a “gap” year that has turned into no plans to enroll in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All students from Kindergarten to MA/JD/MD etc were robbed of life experiences.

JFC, They gained a life experience. You act like they are entitled to never have hardship. The entire world went through this! Some came out with a new take on life (what’s really important), other whine that they were robbed. Yes, much harder on kids but as a parent you can help them through it. Instead you choose victimhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All students from Kindergarten to MA/JD/MD etc were robbed of life experiences.

Most MA/JD/MD students are 25+ years old nowadays at the time of starting their program.