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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I posted earlier in the thread about my 2020 kid. Pivoting towards solutions -- does anyone have any suggestions for how to help our kids (or more accurately help them help themselves) catch up from these deficits?

I can't beat myself up too much for not keeping my DS home for a year for a gap year, because what was there to do? I looked into gap year programs for a hot second but they, like everything else, shut down. And DS was opposed to a gap year anyway.

But apart from therapy, which DS is in -- what else is helpful now? He says he feels like a kid stuck in a 20 year old's body; that everyone else knows how to do things that he doesn't (socially).[/quote]

Is your child a junior in college? Is he homesick?

It is probably possible for him to take a leave of absence for a semester or a year.[/quote]

He's not homesick -- he is at UMD and we're in MoCo, so he's always been able to come home whenever he wants (and which was great when covid shut down the dorms suddenly, etc. freshman year). It's that he's having friend group issues at school and he's lonely there without a strong social network that's diversified beyond the HS friend group. It's hard to know at this late date how he starts what he should have been able to do freshman and sophomore years and wasn't -- i.e., meet new kids at a time everyone is timed to meet new people.[/quote]

I would have him look into club & intramural sports if he has not already. A part-time job could be a good social outlet, too. Maybe clubs like gaming, chess, running or hiking?

But, there is definitely pressure IMO on kids to feel like they’ve had a fairytale college experience. People meet their future wedding parties or spouse, which is lovely, but not all kids do and that’s okay. Social media exacerbates this. If you don’t have enough friends to post on Instagram with, you’re a failure apparently.

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