Informal survey of African American families

[Anonymous]

So I'm slightly annoyed about this and want to take an informal survey. Whenever I express angst about my child getting into a good private school, I almost ALWAYS get some comment along the lines of "you have nothing to worry about - all of those schools are looking for diversity, etc." (These are comments from actual friends who happen to be Caucasian. This has now happened on 4 seperate occasions w/ 4 different people) Now it seems highly unlikely to me that EVERY African-American child who applies to a private school gets in. I just don't think that's true - and that seems to be the implied belief in these comments.

So here are my questions:

(1) Are there other AA families out there who get these same types of comments - or do I just have an unusual collection of friends?

(2) Are you an AA family whose child was turned down from a private school?

[Anonymous]

1. We get these comments all of the time.

2. Accepted everywhere we applied.

What can I say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I'm slightly annoyed about this and want to take an informal survey. Whenever I express angst about my child getting into a good private school, I almost ALWAYS get some comment along the lines of "you have nothing to worry about - all of those schools are looking for diversity, etc." (These are comments from actual friends who happen to be Caucasian. This has now happened on 4 seperate occasions w/ 4 different people) Now it seems highly unlikely to me that EVERY African-American child who applies to a private school gets in. I just don't think that's true - and that seems to be the implied belief in these comments.

So here are my questions:

(1) Are there other AA families out there who get these same types of comments - or do I just have an unusual collection of friends?

(2) Are you an AA family whose child was turned down from a private school?

1. Yes, I also hear this all the time.

2. No. Both of our children were accepted at every private school that we applied to.

[Anonymous]

A sincere congratulations to the previous two PPs. However, your posts are certainly going to feed the (incorrect) assumption by some that AA families have an automatic in because they're AA -- regardless of qualification. I know plenty of AA families (ours included) whose children did not get accepted to every school to which they applied. Yes, we got into a "top 3", but by no means all the privates to which we applied.

[Anonymous]

No, not regardless of qualification...but if your kids are qualified and you bring diversity, you have a serious leg up.

[Anonymous]

Is your survey limited to AAs or can other black people respond?

[Anonymous]

OP...I get those comments ALL the time. I was on a playdate with one Caucasian family and was shocked when she actually said to me, "oh you will have no problem everyone I know with any diversity has gotten into every school they applied". I didn't even know what to say because I was just shocked that she had the nerve to actually say that to me. On the other side..I've even heard that from my own family (we are all 100% African American). I have no idea why people think this is the case but it is quite annoying. They never say, your child will get in because he/she is a lovely child who scored in the 90th percentile on the WPPSI its always your black, your in! I wish that was the case..LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, not regardless of qualification...but if your kids are qualified and you bring diversity, you have a serious leg up.

My assumption, as well. Both of my children applied with high tests scores, excellent recs, are sociable & kind, and happen to be AA. Certainly, qualification + diversity worked for our family.

[Anonymous]

FYI, I just responded above but wanted to mention that a good friend of mine who happens to be a MD and wife a Big Executive did not get in ANY of the "Big Three". They said their son did not do well in the WPPSI but to them not good may mean 90th percentile (didn't want to ask). I think they are looking for both economic and cultural diversity so if you can get both in one kid, I believe they go with that kid. So bascially if your a rich black kid your no different than a rich white kid when it comes to Admissions. We fall inbetween (don't require financial aid but can't give to the annual appeals). I guess I can get back to you in March : )

[Anonymous]

Of course we have a leg up because schools *are* looking for diversity. I think it would be kind of absurd to pretend that isn't the case, or to be annoyed at white friends who remark upon it. The friends' comments might be in poor taste (and actually if they're good friends then not even perhaps), but the comments aren't wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your survey limited to AAs or can other black people respond?

Touche. (Yes, other black folks can respond.)

[Anonymous]

May I just add that I'm Asian American and get that comment too from well-meaning Caucasian friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I just add that I'm Asian American and get that comment too from well-meaning Caucasian friends!

I'm sure your child is excellent in math, right? LOL!

[Anonymous]

AA mom here - currently kids in a "good" DCPS elementary and wondering about the privates for middle school - my issue is this - if a good number of white people believe that we have a leg up because the schools are looking for diversity do you think AA or other minorities are looked at differently in the classroom? Just curious if these attitudes somehow creep into the experiences our children have at private schools - and the Big 3 in particular.

This is a big concern of mine - do I put my kids in an environment where they may have to prove their worth over and over again (my father believed this builds character) or stick it out with public where maybe its not as much of a issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA mom here - currently kids in a "good" DCPS elementary and wondering about the privates for middle school - my issue is this - if a good number of white people believe that we have a leg up because the schools are looking for diversity do you think AA or other minorities are looked at differently in the classroom? Just curious if these attitudes somehow creep into the experiences our children have at private schools - and the Big 3 in particular.

This is a big concern of mine - do I put my kids in an environment where they may have to prove their worth over and over again (my father believed this builds character) or stick it out with public where maybe its not as much of a issue.

My children have experienced tougher grading standards from their teachers. They've caught on to this, and are in the practice of conferencing with their teachers regarding "odd grades." I wouldn't describe this as proving their worth. Depending on the school and child's personality this kind of situation can help build character.