Married & strong feelings for a best friend's wife?

[Anonymous]

Have any of you had strong feelings and or acted upon them with someone within your close group of friends?

My husband is borderline too friendly with his best friend's wife. It bothers me and I have brought it up to him, but the flirting doesn't stop. Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation? Sure I think other men are good looking or funny or smart, but I don't cross the line with flirting or long drawn out stares, etc out of respect for my marriage and my husband. He will go pick her up from and to airport when her husband is out of town. Go and get her car washed, since her husband is out of town. I know this is his best friends girl, but is it crossing the line? Am I overreacting?

Have any of you had affairs or cheated within a close group of your friends?

[Anonymous]

No you are not over reacting. If your husband isn't tickling the sheets with this woman now, he's almost in those panties.

I'd call Miss Helpless up and tell her to find another man to do her little odd jobs. My husband is busy.

[Anonymous]

I could maybe understand driving her to/from the airport. Maybe. It would be stretching it though -- that's what taxis are for. However, she can't take her own car to the car wash?

If the affair hasn't already started, it's close. Counseling. Now.

[Anonymous]

My DH does something for nothing for relatives only.

Something fishy here.

[Anonymous]

I know, I know. I want to call mIss helpless but my husband would forever hate me if I did anything to ruin the relationship with the four of us. He would think i am bat shit crazy if I said anything to anyone. I would bet that they haven't slept with each other, but I just don't like where it's going. I truly think that he is trying to impress his best friend more by taking care of his house,wife, cars, kid dogs, etc to prove that he is a great friend, but the damsel in her is what's bugs me.
We are military and the husband is deployed. Not using this as an excuse I don't think, but sometimes the military people do things like this, maybe?

[Anonymous]

"We are military and the husband is deployed."

Red flag!

[Anonymous]

Um, HE would be ruining the friendship with the four of you, not you. You have asked him to stop flirting and cut it out, and he has not. He has disrespected YOU and his friend by continuing on in this way after you have made it clear that you are not cool with it. Making you feel like YOU are crazy and the problem for not being cool with it is called gaslighting. He is taking the heat off of his actions by placing blame on you. I'd talk to him one more time and say either YOU handle it by cutting out the flirting and extra odd jobs, or I will handle it by calling Miss Helpless. Make sure that he knows that he doesn't want YOU to handle it, so he should probably man up and cut out the crap.

[Anonymous]

I had an affair with husband's best friend. He was in the process of divorce. It started like that. If I were you I'd be worried.

[Anonymous]

I know military folks who look out for each other families. It may not be anything because the husband should be reacting as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, I know. I want to call mIss helpless but my husband would forever hate me if I did anything to ruin the relationship with the four of us. He would think i am bat shit crazy if I said anything to anyone. I would bet that they haven't slept with each other, but I just don't like where it's going. I truly think that he is trying to impress his best friend more by taking care of his house,wife, cars, kid dogs, etc to prove that he is a great friend, but the damsel in her is what's bugs me.
We are military and the husband is deployed. Not using this as an excuse I don't think, but sometimes the military people do things like this, maybe?

And that's the problem. I went through this with my DW, except the guy was supposed to be my friend. Found a series of very suggestive emails between them. I talked to her about it, and she immediately backed off. He went on to have an affair with another woman in our circle of friends.

IMO, if he can't accept how you feel...trouble could loom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have any of you had strong feelings and or acted upon them with someone within your close group of friends?

My husband is borderline too friendly with his best friend's wife. It bothers me and I have brought it up to him, but the flirting doesn't stop. Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation? Sure I think other men are good looking or funny or smart, but I don't cross the line with flirting or long drawn out stares, etc out of respect for my marriage and my husband. He will go pick her up from and to airport when her husband is out of town. Go and get her car washed, since her husband is out of town. I know this is his best friends girl, but is it crossing the line? Am I overreacting?

Have any of you had affairs or cheated within a close group of your friends?

Washing her car when her husband is out of town? IS that what they call it now? He's probably having sex with her.
I'd flat out ask him if he was having sex with her. And tell him to stop seeing her or you will get a divorce. You may or may not want to ask the best friend what he thinks is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know, I know. I want to call mIss helpless but my husband would forever hate me if I did anything to ruin the relationship with the four of us. He would think i am bat shit crazy if I said anything to anyone. I would bet that they haven't slept with each other, but I just don't like where it's going. I truly think that he is trying to impress his best friend more by taking care of his house,wife, cars, kid dogs, etc to prove that he is a great friend, but the damsel in her is what's bugs me.
We are military and the husband is deployed. Not using this as an excuse I don't think, but sometimes the military people do things like this, maybe?

He's sleeping with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, HE would be ruining the friendship with the four of you, not you. You have asked him to stop flirting and cut it out, and he has not. He has disrespected YOU and his friend by continuing on in this way after you have made it clear that you are not cool with it. Making you feel like YOU are crazy and the problem for not being cool with it is called gaslighting. He is taking the heat off of his actions by placing blame on you. I'd talk to him one more time and say either YOU handle it by cutting out the flirting and extra odd jobs, or I will handle it by calling Miss Helpless. Make sure that he knows that he doesn't want YOU to handle it, so he should probably man up and cut out the crap.

+1000

Divorce him so he can take care of his best friend's wife. You are in the way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know, I know. I want to call mIss helpless but my husband would forever hate me if I did anything to ruin the relationship with the four of us. He would think i am bat shit crazy if I said anything to anyone. I would bet that they haven't slept with each other, but I just don't like where it's going. I truly think that he is trying to impress his best friend more by taking care of his house,wife, cars, kid dogs, etc to prove that he is a great friend, but the damsel in her is what's bugs me.
We are military and the husband is deployed. Not using this as an excuse I don't think, but sometimes the military people do things like this, maybe?

And that's the problem. I went through this with my DW, except the guy was supposed to be my friend. Found a series of very suggestive emails between them. I talked to her about it, and she immediately backed off. He went on to have an affair with another woman in our circle of friends.

IMO, if he can't accept how you feel...trouble could loom.

Were you able to forgive her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know military folks who look out for each other families. It may not be anything because the husband should be reacting as well.

LOTS of military affairs.