How often do you cheat in your relationship?

[Anonymous]

Cheat is used loosely here.

Let's compile a list of ways to cheat:
1. To have sex with someone else.
2. To have friendships with someone else spouse does not approve of.
3. To drink alcohol. (when spouse disapproves)
4. To eat bad foods (especially when you are overweight or diabetic)
5. To gamble
6. To smoke or do drugs.
7. To go shopping or to the salon (when spouse thinks you can't afford it or don't need it)
8. To exercise (when spouse thinks you should be working or doing something else)
9. To rest or sleep (when spouse thinks you are lazy and unproductive)
10. To watch porn (when spouse disapproves)
11. To watch TV or read (when spouse thinks it is excessive)

In other words, how many hours per day or week or month are you doing something that spouse disapproves of? Is this your fault for doing something you know you shouldn't do or is it spouse's fault for being too rigid?

Assuming 16 waking hours per day, in my case, spouse is happy when I work (8 hours) or spend time with family, friends, or exercise (4 hours), watch TV (1 hour) eating and bathroom time (2 hours). That leaves about 1 hour per day when I am doing something that spouse really dislikes. Sometimes I think she is being too rigid.

Congrats if you NEVER cheat. You must be very happy and lucky to be in such an open and honest relationship!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheat is used loosely here.

Let's compile a list of ways to cheat:
1. To have sex with someone else.
2. To have friendships with someone else spouse does not approve of.
3. To drink alcohol. (when spouse disapproves)
4. To eat bad foods (especially when you are overweight or diabetic)
5. To gamble
6. To smoke or do drugs.
7. To go shopping or to the salon (when spouse thinks you can't afford it or don't need it)
8. To exercise (when spouse thinks you should be working or doing something else)
9. To rest or sleep (when spouse thinks you are lazy and unproductive)
10. To watch porn (when spouse disapproves)
11. To watch TV or read (when spouse thinks it is excessive)

In other words, how many hours per day or week or month are you doing something that spouse disapproves of? Is this your fault for doing something you know you shouldn't do or is it spouse's fault for being too rigid?

Assuming 16 waking hours per day, in my case, spouse is happy when I work (8 hours) or spend time with family, friends, or exercise (4 hours), watch TV (1 hour) eating and bathroom time (2 hours). That leaves about 1 hour per day when I am doing something that spouse really dislikes. Sometimes I think she is being too rigid.

Congrats if you NEVER cheat. You must be very happy and lucky to be in such an open and honest relationship!

I'd just like to say that merely doing something a spouse disapproves of does not meet any normal's person of cheating. Our spouses don't have dominion over our lives. They are earned partners, not authority figures. Doing some of these activities may cause conflict, but that's as much about control issues as the behavior itself. The worst sin of all is trying to control your partner's behevior. That's worse than anything on this weird list (except maybe the betrayal of sleeping with someone else, which is something most of us promise to not do when we get married -- there's nothing in the wedding vows about regulating TV or porn).

So, are you actually serious with this post?

[Anonymous]

OP, are you a 14 year old boy? If not, you sure sound like one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheat is used loosely here.

Let's compile a list of ways to cheat:
1. To have sex with someone else.
2. To have friendships with someone else spouse does not approve of.
3. To drink alcohol. (when spouse disapproves)
4. To eat bad foods (especially when you are overweight or diabetic)
5. To gamble
6. To smoke or do drugs.
7. To go shopping or to the salon (when spouse thinks you can't afford it or don't need it)
8. To exercise (when spouse thinks you should be working or doing something else)
9. To rest or sleep (when spouse thinks you are lazy and unproductive)
10. To watch porn (when spouse disapproves)
11. To watch TV or read (when spouse thinks it is excessive)

In other words, how many hours per day or week or month are you doing something that spouse disapproves of? Is this your fault for doing something you know you shouldn't do or is it spouse's fault for being too rigid?

Assuming 16 waking hours per day, in my case, spouse is happy when I work (8 hours) or spend time with family, friends, or exercise (4 hours), watch TV (1 hour) eating and bathroom time (2 hours). That leaves about 1 hour per day when I am doing something that spouse really dislikes. Sometimes I think she is being too rigid.

Congrats if you NEVER cheat. You must be very happy and lucky to be in such an open and honest relationship!

this is a bad set of rules...I would rather define cheating to be breaking the Covenant of marriage. Physical or emotional betrayal. Abuse. Etc. Watching the redskins game is not cheating, and not violating the covenant (though it may be abuse for me). Nor is my daily coffee. My diet? If god did not want me to eat bacon, it would not taste so good.

With that said,
1) never,
2) once in our marriage, and she was right.
3) N/A
4) my choice, not hers. But every day.
5) N/A
6) N/A, and should be with drinking IMHO
7) Every day -- she does not think I should have my one vice, good coffee...we can afford the Latte's
8) N/A -- I don't drink, smoke, do illegal drugs or exercise (a sentence I have always wanted to write)
9) N/A -- spouse understands I need rest for medical reasons
10) rarely
11) every night -- sports for me.

[Anonymous]

OP, your husband sucks.

[Anonymous]

None. My husband isn't awful and the only one that he would care about is #1, which I would not do.

[Anonymous]

Never. This is sad that you put so much thought into it.

[Anonymous]

This is bullish!t. Cheating isn't doing things your spouse disapproves of. It is breaking your marital vows. Unless you promised on your wedding day to eat right, exercise, not watch television or spend money - not one of those has a thing to do with breaking your vows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your husband sucks.

OP used "she."

[Anonymous]

What?

Uh, never, because I am an adult and my husband doesn't but in to how I run my life, and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I forgot to mention that my wife is amazing. I like almost everything she does. But I must admit that she probably spends about an hour wasting time with online shopping or looking at new homes. I admit that I am extremely lucky because, even though I disapprove, I know that these are not terribly bad habits.

[Anonymous]

I can see that these behaviors can constitute actual cheating in a marriage, however collectively the general term "cheating" is commonly defined as being sexually involved w/another person...committing adultery.

[Anonymous]

So you think your wife cheats on you for an hour every day. As she looks at web pages on a computer.

I don't get your brain.

[Anonymous]

You married a bitch. When is the divorce?

[Anonymous]

OP you're a psycho. Breaking the marriage vows is cheating, the rest of your list is controlling and outrageous. I have no idea if my husband thinks I read too much or waste time online shopping for new sheets because he knows he doesn't run my life --- and vice versa. We are equal partners, not each other's parents.