19 year old cousin is dating a 38 year old. Is there anything we can do?

[Anonymous]

I need to vent again.
Cousin is definitely using something again we got a 3 am call, he wanted to talk to DH about the election. DH said he sounded high and basically just rambled the entire hour and a half they were on the phone.

This is after I saw his girlfriend posting about wanting a baby.

I don't have the words to describe what I'm feeling.
I
I know our hands are tied legally, but I want and need to do something.

[Anonymous]

Invite him to lunch or something. He's reaching out to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invite him to lunch or something. He's reaching out to you.

I have contacted him. I've left messages for him letting him know we are here for him at any time and that we're thinking of him, he's not responded. Maybe I need to be more specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite him to lunch or something. He's reaching out to you.

I have contacted him. I've left messages for him letting him know we are here for him at any time and that we're thinking of him, he's not responded. Maybe I need to be more specific.

Maybe you need to butt the hell out. HE IS AN ADULT!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite him to lunch or something. He's reaching out to you.

I have contacted him. I've left messages for him letting him know we are here for him at any time and that we're thinking of him, he's not responded. Maybe I need to be more specific.

Maybe you need to butt the hell out. HE IS AN ADULT!!

Not OP, but adults don't drunk dial their uncles. This kid (yes I know he's an adult) is hurting.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing drugs are involved in this "relationship".

I'm guessing it's more likely super hot sex. She's horny; he's ready to go at a moment's notice, again and again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing drugs are involved in this "relationship".

I would say that is more likely than not. He had problems with drugs when he was younger. I would not be surprised to find he was using again. I would also not be surprised to find out she is providing the drugs.

NP. I had a family member get into a very similar situation and drugs were indeed involved (this person also had problems with drug abuse before meeting the older woman, and yes, she was helping him get drugs and financing his habit in the short term). Since your cousin seems to be reaching out to you, PLEASE discuss the importance of birth control with him if you get the chance to talk to him.

[Anonymous]

When I was 19, I dated several men in the 36-38 age range. Thankfully I had the foresight to avoid letting my family meet them or find out about them. My parents just thought I didn't date much.

I knew perfectly well that I was nothing more than a mid-life crisis for them, and they were a wild attempt at expressing my independence for me. Never thought any of them were "the one". One had a 15 year old kid, but I never met her (or wanted to).

Anyway, since it doesn't sound like you have a relationship with your nephew now, he's not likely to listen to anything you say. If anything, you could write him a letter just saying "hey, we are thinking of you and hope you are doing well. You can call us anytime if you need to talk, or just want to say hi! ". Let him know you are still there for him, in case he decides he'd like to rekindle the friendship.

Sorry, OP. This sounds really tough. But I do think it's out of your hands now.