Do you read you child's text messages?

[Anonymous]

No apps to monitor it. At the very beginning, I set her phone so that I got all her texts/imessages. That lasted about 1 month, after I got annoyed by the pings. She was 9. Now I check her phone occasionally and she is 12/6th grader. She knows that texts and emails are open for me to read. I'll see how it goes as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

This is what the police officer in the Slender Man stabbing case recommends. People, please monitor cellphone and internet usage for your children.

This case on Monday, June 2nd had Waukesha Police Chief Russell Jack reminding parents to monitor their children’s activity online.

“Both suspects had a fascination with a fictitious character that often posted to a website that is a collection of small stories about death and horror. Parents should not be allowing their children to have unrestricted or unmonitored internet usage –whether it be on their computer on their smart phone on their PlayStation. All of those accesses to the outside world,” Chief Jack said.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/18/in-the-bedroom-of-alleged-slender-man-stabber-some-disturbing-things/

[Anonymous]

I remember seeing something on the news about an app called PocketGuardian that alerts parents to inappropriate text messages. The app does all the work for you, so no need to look through every message on your kids phone. Just did a quick google search and found the website and some interviews with the owners.

[Anonymous]

Everyone - adults and children - should understand this basic point: there is no privacy when you send a text message.

Every text message can be copied and sent to other people.

Every text message can be read by other people, inadvertently or subversively.

Every text message can be copied for the entire internet to read online.

There is no privacy.

If you want privacy, whisper. Write in a diary with a key. But don't share your private thoughts online unless you don't mind sharing with the world.

For that reason, it is very smart for parents to tell their kids that they can and will read their texts. So if they want privacy, they will know texting is a bad place for it.

Otherwise, they will learn the hard way. Trust me. My friend's daughter learned the hard way when her "private" text messages were shared with her school. This is a lesson better learned through others mistakes. It created a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

No I don't.

[Anonymous]

Do you know the MAIN reason I monitor texts. Like the above person said. There is no privacy. Even though I know I have a very good kid, they all can say and do stupid things. But texts are forever. It is a phone call. Texts can be sent to anyone and saved forever. There is no undoing. But my main reason? Other parents are reading the texts your kids are sending to their kids. If they go off the rails or say stupid things, you aren't keeping even a quick glance at, your kid could get ostracized from their group real quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know the MAIN reason I monitor texts. Like the above person said. There is no privacy. Even though I know I have a very good kid, they all can say and do stupid things. But texts are forever. It is a phone call. Texts can be sent to anyone and saved forever. There is no undoing. But my main reason? Other parents are reading the texts your kids are sending to their kids. If they go off the rails or say stupid things, you aren't keeping even a quick glance at, your kid could get ostracized from their group real quick.

I meant it is NOT a phone call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone - adults and children - should understand this basic point: there is no privacy when you send a text message.

Every text message can be copied and sent to other people.

Every text message can be read by other people, inadvertently or subversively.

Every text message can be copied for the entire internet to read online.

There is no privacy.

If you want privacy, whisper. Write in a diary with a key. But don't share your private thoughts online unless you don't mind sharing with the world.

For that reason, it is very smart for parents to tell their kids that they can and will read their texts. So if they want privacy, they will know texting is a bad place for it.

Otherwise, they will learn the hard way. Trust me. My friend's daughter learned the hard way when her "private" text messages were shared with her school. This is a lesson better learned through others mistakes. It created a nightmare.

This.
We've had this message in place from the get-go with our almost 11yo. He also has had access to our phones in addition to his own. If I'm driving & need DS to use my phone to send a quick message to my husband, sometimes he scrolls around a bit - no big deal. In fact, I'm happy to have him see examples of appropriate texts. None of us has privacy & there's no sense of unfairness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know the MAIN reason I monitor texts. Like the above person said. There is no privacy. Even though I know I have a very good kid, they all can say and do stupid things. But texts are forever. It is a phone call. Texts can be sent to anyone and saved forever. There is no undoing. But my main reason? Other parents are reading the texts your kids are sending to their kids. If they go off the rails or say stupid things, you aren't keeping even a quick glance at, your kid could get ostracized from their group real quick.

You hit the nail on the head. I monitor texts so I know what other kids are up to, not just my own.

[Anonymous]

I would from time to time just to check things over. But I would not hide it from her… from the get go I would tell her: I can see your text messages and I will monitor it from time to time" and of course I would have a talk to her about inappropriate things, mean behavior, sexting, etc.

As she grows older and I don't see anything out of the ordinary I would monitor less and less and eventually stop all together.