Partner Didn't Hear From His DC's Yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner has four dc's with two ex wives and all but one is a young adult. I felt bad for him bc not one reached out to him on Father's day. I make sure to celebrate him with our dc but think he must be hurt that his other dc's don't acknowledge the day. We don't see them much and would hate to make it a thing on the rare occasion he does see them but wonder if I should drop a hint to them that it isn't very nice.

Well, is he hurt? Or do you not have a close enough relationship with him to know whether he's hurt or not.

Let me tell you a story. My dad is a great dad. We talk every weekend, every other weekend at least, and visit several times a year. If I didn't call him on Father's Day, he would maybe be hurt-- but more than that he would be concerned! Concerned about not hearing from me like normal. And he would CALL ME. He wouldn't just sit around being hurt (or telling his new partner that he's hurt so that she'll think he cares). He would reach out. Because that's what people do when they care about each other. And there would be a pattern of communication already in place because that's what happens in functioning relationships. If your man is not calling his adult children on the regular, then what do you expect? You reap what you sow.

[Anonymous]

This is the best man you could get, OP? Pathetic. He deserves nothing on Father’s Day as he has not behaved as a father should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They didn't reach out because they don't have a relationship with him. It wasn't sperm donor's day.

There is nothing for you to say.

This. I really hope this is a troll post, otherwise the lack of awareness is stunning. Though I guess it tracks with someone who thinks three baby mommas is healthy and nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My partner has four dc's with two ex wives and all but one is a young adult. I felt bad for him bc not one reached out to him on Father's day. I make sure to celebrate him with our dc but think he must be hurt that his other dc's don't acknowledge the day. We don't see them much and would hate to make it a thing on the rare occasion he does see them but wonder if I should drop a hint to them that it isn't very nice.

It’s not your job to manage his relationships with his children, especially his adult children who are not even related to you. Do not try to take this on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want him to have a relationship with them (and really, do you?) maybe you should help plan a visit to spend time with them. If your partner doesn't want to do this then I guess you have your answer.

This is the best advice for OP if she’s not a troll.

[Anonymous]

The fact that all 4 older kids don’t see him as a dad but rather as a sperm donor doesn’t bode well for your kid’s future. Congratulations on not even locking down a twice-divorced deadbeat dad who won’t even marry you. He sounds like a cheater.

[Anonymous]

My teen and tween forgot Father's Day and we're all living in the same small house, OP. Not only did they forget, which happens often with kids, but they didn't WANT to wish him anything. This is what my husband gets for being totally emotionally unavailable for any of us, and being verbally abusive to my teen for years. We tolerate each other, and can't divorce him, so here we are, living in the same house, and his birthday, his Christmas gifts, his Father's Day, are acknowledged only when I make a courtesy gesture.

If your partner is a nice person and wants to connect with his children, he can call on Father's Day, just like on any other day. If the other parent does not remind their children, it's very easy for kids to forget, whether or not they like their parent.

[Anonymous]

If he isn’t connected with them, don’t bother referring to them as his “Dear Children.” He made his bed as a shitty dad; he can lie in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen and tween forgot Father's Day and we're all living in the same small house, OP. Not only did they forget, which happens often with kids, but they didn't WANT to wish him anything. This is what my husband gets for being totally emotionally unavailable for any of us, and being verbally abusive to my teen for years. We tolerate each other, and can't divorce him, so here we are, living in the same house, and his birthday, his Christmas gifts, his Father's Day, are acknowledged only when I make a courtesy gesture.

If your partner is a nice person and wants to connect with his children, he can call on Father's Day, just like on any other day. If the other parent does not remind their children, it's very easy for kids to forget, whether or not they like their parent.

You sound like an equal problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen and tween forgot Father's Day and we're all living in the same small house, OP. Not only did they forget, which happens often with kids, but they didn't WANT to wish him anything. This is what my husband gets for being totally emotionally unavailable for any of us, and being verbally abusive to my teen for years. We tolerate each other, and can't divorce him, so here we are, living in the same house, and his birthday, his Christmas gifts, his Father's Day, are acknowledged only when I make a courtesy gesture.

If your partner is a nice person and wants to connect with his children, he can call on Father's Day, just like on any other day. If the other parent does not remind their children, it's very easy for kids to forget, whether or not they like their parent.

Why cant you divorce him? Are you in the US?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a classic sperm donor not a father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he were a good father, he would see them often and would be in touch with them regularly.

He has two ex-wives and four kids with those women, AND kids with you? Yeah, with that track record and the fact that you said “we don’t see them much,” sounds like he’s a pretty awful dad. Like, you actively chose to have a relationship and a kid with a man who has two ex-wives and four kids from prior relationships?

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the best man you could get, OP? Pathetic. He deserves nothing on Father’s Day as he has not behaved as a father should.

LOL. I had the same thought!

[Anonymous]

Four children and not a single one likes him? Methinks a pattern has emerged…

[Anonymous]

No responses from the OP so far. Clearly a troll post, and you all took the bait.