Anyone have a child who is in a highly competitive sport team?
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Anonymous
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Not so much like playing football for a season, but a child who is a competitive dancer who goes to meets every other weekend, or a child who is training to become a high accomplished musician?
How do you do it? I have a 7-year-old who goes to a local dance studio, and they are starting a competitive team and the owner asked my daughter to join the younger girls team. The schedule is insane, my daughter is begging me to allow it, but it's practice 5 days a week and meets almost every other weekend....not to mention the money that will go into this. |
Anonymous
| Yes and it's totally insane. Practice at least four days a week plus private coaching another at least twice a week, not always back to back with practice. Local, regional and national competitions. The money is ridiculous. There is missed school at times (minimal, but still the work has to get made up). My vacation time is used mostly to attend the competitions. The only way we can make it happen is carpooling, paying people (college kids) to drive when we can't and never having family dinners together. Fortunately, only one of my kids is in this type of activity. |
Anonymous
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I would look carefully at this to evaluate whether it's really a highly competitive team or a way for the studio to make a lot of money.
Yes, there are highly competitive teams around, and young dancers who are going on to dance careers, etc. My impression of these dance teams, however, is that they are often a revenue generator. Yes, your daughter might get something out of it. But will that counterbalance the time and expense for a kid that age? Can you look at her honestly and say she's an extremely talented dancer and if so, is this the best way to develop her talent (as opposted to enrolling her at Strathmore or some other place that really fosters dance talent)? And do you ahave a full understanding of the costs? I have a friend whose daughter does this and they have to have six or seven new costumes for each set of routines. It's thousands of extra dollars per year. |
Anonymous
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Yes. It is expensive and a big committment and our team only practices 2 times a week but some of the weekend stuff is 5 hours away.
I would not do it if I felt I did not "have to". I have changed sports to try to keep him from being in highly competitive sports. Sometimes we will do local travel/club teams to give us a break but eventually the parents on the other team complain and question his age. It ends up that my son gets benched 1/2 the game so we don't run up the score or he is asked to pass the ball and not shoot. It's a real "catch 22". My advice is if you daughter is challenged with a level of dance that is more schedule friendly go schedule friendly but if she is just not happy, feeling stagnet, etc then do the more competitive level. I think 7 is young, we waited until middle school for my oldest. Also, we take periodic breaks (though people act like we are going to be way behind or miss something really important) so we don't deal with burnout. I have many friends who were competitive dancers and run dance studios now. Good Luck! |
Anonymous
| Also, watch a couple of episodes of Dance Moms to get an idea of what this world is really like. |
Anonymous
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Highly competitive sport? Yes. But not until they were in high school. Up until then it was recreational and just for fun.
The schedule was insane. Practice every single day after school plus competitions on the weekends. |
Anonymous
| I hope no one takes offense to this question, but I am truly curious...why do families choose to get involved in these types of time consuming activities? Yes, I'm sure that the kids enjoy it, but kids enjoy doing lots of things that parents have no problem saying no to. Is it that you think these activities are developing skills that will carry over to other areas of life? My 8 year old daughter takes a gymnastics class 1x a week at a gym that is highly competitive. The girls her age who are on the team practice about 15 hours a week. The middle schoolers and high schoolers generally practice over 20 hours a week. The parents that I have talked to seem to be very realistic about it. They have no delusions that their kids will go to the Olympics or even receive a college scholarship. I just can't help but wonder, what's the point? If a kid loves the activity, wouldn't they still love just taking a few recreational classes a week? There must be other things the kids would enjoy doing as well. Why choose this type of lifestyle for your family? |
Anonymous
You mean I should tell the Varsity coach that even though he made the team we are not interested?
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Anonymous
I don't take offense - I wonder the same question? I have a niece and nephew who miss many family events because the games are on holiday weekends. The percentage of these kids who play in college is very low. So why miss out on life/family/being a kid?? |
Anonymous
Recreational classes and team gymnastics are worlds apart when it comes to what the kids do and can learn to do. Mine wouldn't be satisfied with recreational classes. I would say there are benefits that carry over to other areas of life. Two in particular that come to mind are the ability to handle lots of responsibility and manage time from a young age and the ability to keep at something until you get it rather than giving up because it's hard. As far as what's the point, if your child is successful in it, it's nice to be able to give it to your child. |
Anonymous
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For us we joined a team, went undefeated, won regionals, then went to nationals. You actually never really think that you are going to go all the way and then when you win, and win, and win you are almost like you are on a roller coaster. I could say we can't go and then the whole team will suffer.
My son made it to the State Championships in one sport but I already had plane tickets and he did NOT go. Wow! That was no fun. The next year he won the State Championship. Some times my son misses family events buy by no means does he miss everything - but he is good enough that I can tell a coach that we are missing things - he won't be cut. It's a little selfish but I never, ever, ever thought I would have to deal with this.
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Anonymous
A number of gyms offer team opportunities that don't require quite as much of a time commitment but it's still a lot more than recreational (and presumably the child gets many of the benefits of competitive gymnastics that they wouldn't get from recreational. That's another option, but not available for all sports of course. I also agree with the pp that the child benefits tremendously from seeing progress from hard work. |
Anonymous
I think the kind of experiences mentioned above -- going to nationals etc. -- are amazing for kids and teach a lot of good lessons. I would be careful selecting the opportunities though -- a start-up dance team sounds like a lot of money and not a lot of return. |
Anonymous
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I have a seven year old who is in a competitive sport. She practices 2-3 days a week and often has meets on the weekends a couple of times a month. In some cases, the meets are two-day events.
I was warned specifically by a coach I trust not to let her practice more than this (I was thinking of bumping her up to four times a week at her request). He said that many kids who could go on to the elite level burn out at around 10 or 12 if they are pushed (or push themselves) too hard too early. With that in mind, I would think a 5 day a week commitment to the same activity is too much. I also agree that if this is a new team, the owner may be trying to raise revenue or hasn't thought through the impact of asking for that kind of commitment at age 7. She may end up with no team once everybody quits in a year or two. In terms of why do it to the family, in theory I agree. In real life, though, I can tell you that the sense of accomplishment the kids get from their progress is tremendous. My older kid was asked to join a competitive team last year in a different sport, and her focus on the sport and her pride at being on the team is something to see. She keeps her grades up, is speaking up more in school, and generally is doing well. I would not take that away from her. The little one is already very focused on her sport and glows with pride and excitement whenever she is asked to practice with the bigger kids. Given the astronomical odds against it, it's pretty safe to say neither will ever go to the Olympics, become a professional athlete or even go to nationals, but they are learning good lessons from sports about focus, working hard to achieve a result, time management, team dynamics and passion. I think those are all lessons worth learning, and I was not really even an athlete growing up. Sometmes we run arond all weekend because of sports. I hate those weekends. Yet, I love what it does for my kids. |
Anonymous
Oh please 
Dance Moms is a joke among the competitive dance world. It is nothing like the real thing. Ask anyone who is actually involved in dance. It is all made up drama for TV. Please don't take that show seriously. Take it at face value: trashy, scripted, reality TV at its worst. Abbey Lee Miller was frankly nothing notable before this show (no one had ever heard of her or her studio, and her kids were a dime a dozen among scores of talented children filled, over the top, controversial studios to audition. The casting call for this show was sent to many studios, and requested drama) It is all fake stuff put together for television. |