50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read about Halle Berry's final custody arrangement with her ex. She'll have the kid M-W, he'll have the kid W-F, and they'll alternate weekends. In what world is this good for the kid? He's never going to remember where he's going "home" to each weekend and will forever be wanting toys or clothes or school work from the other parent's house. 50/50 just sounds awful for kids!

So they're doing 2 2 5 5 like thousands of other families? The kid gets to spend time with both of his parents,? Sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just read about Halle Berry's final custody arrangement with her ex. She'll have the kid M-W, he'll have the kid W-F, and they'll alternate weekends. In what world is this good for the kid? He's never going to remember where he's going "home" to each weekend and will forever be wanting toys or clothes or school work from the other parent's house. 50/50 just sounds awful for kids!

Given the wealth of the parents they probably have more than two homes and multiple bedrooms. And, with their money they can afford two sets of everything. It is far better than being taken away from one parent and that parent just being a visitor in the kids lives. Anything other than 50-50 sounds terrible for kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

My husband does half the work. Just because you had a kid with a dud does not mean all men are duds. Usually the men who are good fathers are still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

My husband does half the work. Just because you had a kid with a dud does not mean all men are duds. Usually the men who are good fathers are still married.

Exactly my point. Men who want to get divorced also typically don't want to do the difficult work of parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s better for a kid to have nothing more than a trivial relationship with one parent?

Better than having trivial lives with no real home.

Why wouldn’t they have 2 real homes?
My parents were divorced when I was a kid and we spent every other weekend with dad. Maybe it would have been the case anyway, but we were never close, he always felt like more like an uncle figure, and I didn’t know my father’s relatives very well. I think keeping the bond with both parents is so important, and 50-50 is probably the easiest way to achieve that. But if you don’t like it, why don’t you give up much of your parenting time so that your kids’ primary residence, their “real home” is with your ex?

Op here. I am not divorced. I see this with selfish parents around me. My kids are grown and grew up with two parents.

One and a half, really, because you're so crappy that you don't count for a full one.
- Also not divorced

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

My husband does half the work. Just because you had a kid with a dud does not mean all men are duds. Usually the men who are good fathers are still married.

Exactly my point. Men who want to get divorced also typically don't want to do the difficult work of parenting.

Most men don't get the opportunity because their ex's want full custody for the child support. Mine would have been 1005 capable of taking care of his or our kids. I don't worry one bit if something happens to me.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever talked to an adult child of divorce about this? I have not, but as an ACOD myself I would have loved for my parents to have 50/50. My dad moved out of state so we got summers at his place and school years at my mom's place. It sucked. No matter where I was, I missed one of my parents terribly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

My husband does half the work. Just because you had a kid with a dud does not mean all men are duds. Usually the men who are good fathers are still married.

Exactly my point. Men who want to get divorced also typically don't want to do the difficult work of parenting.

Most men don't get the opportunity because their ex's want full custody for the child support. Mine would have been 1005 capable of taking care of his or our kids. I don't worry one bit if something happens to me.

This is not true. The vast majority of men get 50/50 when they ask for it. You have to be a really horrible father and your horribleness has to be well-documented for you to be denied 50/50. But women often get full custody because their exes don't ask for custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

As I have stated, at least in my state, 50/50 is 'presumed' in divorce/custody. That's what it will be unless the parents agree to deviate (which some do). Almost all families I know that are divorced do 50/50 and the dads seem to do what they are supposed to do. My ex does (and stop making me defend him haha).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever talked to an adult child of divorce about this? I have not, but as an ACOD myself I would have loved for my parents to have 50/50. My dad moved out of state so we got summers at his place and school years at my mom's place. It sucked. No matter where I was, I missed one of my parents terribly.

I really think this kind of arrangement should be outlawed and divorced parents should be required to live within an hour of each other until the child turns 18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever talked to an adult child of divorce about this? I have not, but as an ACOD myself I would have loved for my parents to have 50/50. My dad moved out of state so we got summers at his place and school years at my mom's place. It sucked. No matter where I was, I missed one of my parents terribly.

I really think this kind of arrangement should be outlawed and divorced parents should be required to live within an hour of each other until the child turns 18

Talk about something that will never be enforceable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "father's rights" folks are always quick to spew their garbage.

Funny, the mothers are only important in kids lives are always quick to spew their garbage disparaging the importance of kids having two parents, not just one and a child support check.

50/50 is presumed in most areas (not all I think, but most). If a dad wants it, he will get it (barring extreme circumstances). CS is not automatic, but based on the parents' incomes.

In some areas not all and often it’s a fight.

Everyone I know who is divorced has 50/50, except a few cases where the other parent did not want to parent 50% and chose a lesser percentage.

hahahah!

How many men are actually doing that? Men don't do half the work. (Well, maybe there's a FEW. But only a few.)

As I have stated, at least in my state, 50/50 is 'presumed' in divorce/custody. That's what it will be unless the parents agree to deviate (which some do). Almost all families I know that are divorced do 50/50 and the dads seem to do what they are supposed to do. My ex does (and stop making me defend him haha).

Its very state specific and a mom can easily scream abuse even if there is none and get far more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you ever talked to an adult child of divorce about this? I have not, but as an ACOD myself I would have loved for my parents to have 50/50. My dad moved out of state so we got summers at his place and school years at my mom's place. It sucked. No matter where I was, I missed one of my parents terribly.

I really think this kind of arrangement should be outlawed and divorced parents should be required to live within an hour of each other until the child turns 18

How would that even work if a parent needs to move for employment? Or, if divorced one or both cannot afford to stay in the area. Even an hour distance would make it hard to see your kid a lot if you are working full time.

[Anonymous]

The simple solution to this is the parent who feels strongly that the kids should live in one home, should give up custody and just have every other week visitation. That solves the issue.