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Catty little girls
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Anonymous
| What the F!@K! My little girl is just turning 7 and she is meeting more catty girls that I thought possible at this age. She calls them "switchers", one minute they are mean, next they are nice, next they are mean again. Who is teaching these girls this stuff, I really do not think it comes naturally, I was not a "mean girl when I was little and don't remember many around. Maybe a bully or two but not the cattiness that I see now. Just wondering what is up. Maybe it is normal and I don't remember this stage from my childhood. I was a tomboy, maybe that is why I don't remember. I hung out with the boys |
Anonymous
| Poor role models and not enough proper supervision and attention help create these negative behaviors. |
Anonymous
| FWIW, I could not believe how mean one or two of the boys were in my DS's preschool last year. Really scary that it can happen so young (4 and 5). |
Anonymous
|
Seven before encountering catty girls? Consider yourself lucky. My dd's first experience with a "switcher" was at 4, when it caused so much emotional turmoil that she started waking in the middle of the night from nightmares and wanting to sleep with us. My best friend's dd went through even worse crap when she was 4, with a little girl who went from being her closest little friend to daily picking who got to be in her "Club". The self-appointed queen bee made all the kids' lives hell.
My dd's preschool addressed the issue quickly, and the two girls ended the year as friends. But my friend's dd's school did nothing, even though this child ruled the classroom. They dealt with that for an entire year. Ugh. |
Anonymous
|
I feel your pain. My daughter had a miserable time initially in kindergarten. There were 4 little girls who somehow managed to get placed together in the same classroom, that had bonded over 6 years in the same daycare room together. You can imagine how they ruled the roost in that room. And of course, they were cute and popular, and that's who my DD wanted to be friends with. It was miserable for her and heartbreaking for me. The teacher mentioned it at my parent's conference, and suggested other girls to play with. She also told me how socially mature my daughter was, that she was sticking up for the little girls who were picked on by the 'switchers' and sitting with them when they were shunned. I was never so proud of her!
I have no idea how they pick up cattiness and mean behaviors at such an early age, but they do. My daughter would get tummy aches before school almost every day, waiting to see what the day was going to bring from the 4-pack in her class. |
Anonymous
Hey, at least she's not peeing on trees. 
Seriously though, I'm sorry you and your daughter are having to deal with this. |
Anonymous
| A few years ago there was a 2-year old in my child's playgroup like that. The mom was a great mom with a lot of experience- so I think it may be innate. |
Anonymous
|
Really, I am not surprised at "catty little girls" or "mean girls", all you have to do is read these boards, watch public behavior of some mothers, and see where they are copying this behavior from.
How often do we really see posts on DCUM about how to teach kids kindness? In my mind, too few and far between. I think there is a natural instinct in some children for being "Queen Bee" and a good parent has to firmly instill that other values like kindness, compassion for others, and respect are more important. |
Anonymous
| Thanks for all the input. I have told my daughter to just stay away, but of course all she wants to do is be friends with the "mean" girl. I guess that is human nature. Hopefully it does not cause to much heartache for her because it is doing it to me to watch. I want to be the mean mommy and tell the girl to take a hike. or worse. I will try to let my little girl handle it herself, but they are so little. It is strange to see this stuff. The mom does know she is like this and does nothinb about it. I would not tolerate this behavior if I knew it was happening from my child. thanks again |
Anonymous
| If it gets really bad-think of switching schools to change the environment.--some schools just don't address these kinds of issues very well. |
Anonymous
|
I'm sorry about this, OP. It happened to my DD who is 5. When her friend from next door started Kindergarten (while my dd still had one more year of preschool), this little girl got mean. She would say things like 'don't play with her', 'come on, let's go play away from her, don't let her play with us' during playdates or family get togethers. I mean, outright mean exclusionary comments. I ended up putting a moratorium on their playing for awhile. In cases like that, do you say something to the parents?
With my dd starting kinder this year, i'm worried about 'other' girls now. be lucky your dd has the maturity to tell them to stop or back off, esp with regards to other little girls. my little one is still very sensitive and will just close up. |
Anonymous
Fortunately it isn't with someone from school. She will not be in the same school as this little girl. My child's school would never tolerate this and is on top of this type of behavior very quickly. I am glad my child seems mature about it but to see the hurt in her eyes makes my blood boil. My other child is a boy and I am hoping he does not have to deal with this crap like she does. But I guess boys can be mean too, just seems like they aren't quite as bad to me. |
Anonymous
Very, very good point. I wish more women would take the time to consider it. |
zumbamama
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| my teenager also encountered this at the same age. 7-8 year olds talking about sitting at the popular table, the geek table, the in-between table. I was shocked at how clicky they were at such a young age. Some girls would give her crap for befriending the Latina girls, because she is white. She would come home in tears because of all the drama. She stopped hanging out with the cattiest girl of them all, and then received a creepy death threat note from her with those cut out letters taped to a sheet of paper. They were in 4th grade at the time! I'm so glad she doesn't go to school with those kids anymore. |
Anonymous
| Behavior is learned from BOTH moms and dads. If mom acts entitled and catty/bully then it's up to dad to balance the act and instill better manners and courtesy AND vice versa. Don't just pin it on the moms. |