Weird Situation with stepdaughter's mom

[Anonymous]

My husband gives her about $600 per month and his parents give her money too, I am not sure how much. She makes about $50K and lives by herself with the little girl. She just bought a brand new Lexus and want to put the 3 year old in a 20K per year school. How on earth can she afford this? she is milking my husband's parents because she know that they are head over heels for the little girl. This makes me so mad!!! but what's worst is that my husband and her never been to court regarding child support or visitation rights, their deal is $600 per month and thats it. I want him to go to court and put everything in paper, but I dont want any conflicts wit him or his family. I feel like she is taking advantage of him and his family.

[Anonymous]

Did you know this before you got married? Is your H okay with the arrangement?

[Anonymous]

You think $600/month is "milking" you guys!!!!!! WHHAAAHAHAHAHAA

Can you and your husband afford to send this child to a $20,000 school? If yes, why not? does she not have a right to wish the best for her child? Are his parenting duties absolved at $600/month. You sound like a stepmother from hell.

[Anonymous]

I knew this...My husband doesn't want any conflict with this woman, but he thinks that his parents are giving her money too. The little girl is really smart but she is pulling the "she is a genius, therefore, she she needs to go to this 20K per year school". My husband and his brothers went to public school. His family is not the show off type, they are good/honest/simple people that worked hard. This woman is using the little girl to get everything she wants out of them, it pisses me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband gives her about $600 per month and his parents give her money too, I am not sure how much. She makes about $50K and lives by herself with the little girl. She just bought a brand new Lexus and want to put the 3 year old in a 20K per year school. How on earth can she afford this? she is milking my husband's parents because she know that they are head over heels for the little girl. This makes me so mad!!! but what's worst is that my husband and her never been to court regarding child support or visitation rights, their deal is $600 per month and thats it. I want him to go to court and put everything in paper, but I dont want any conflicts wit him or his family. I feel like she is taking advantage of him and his family.

$600.00 month for child support is nothingGo to court where your DH will have a court order to give her $1600.00 per month in child support, plus paying for private school. Well, Cruella Devil, after you tired of torturing Dalmations, you married and want to stick it to a 3-yr. old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew this...My husband doesn't want any conflict with this woman, but he thinks that his parents are giving her money too. The little girl is really smart but she is pulling the "she is a genius, therefore, she she needs to go to this 20K per year school". My husband and his brothers went to public school. His family is not the show off type, they are good/honest/simple people that worked hard. This woman is using the little girl to get everything she wants out of them, it pisses me off.

Then go to court and get it squared away, but don't be surprised if the court awards her $1500/month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew this...My husband doesn't want any conflict with this woman, but he thinks that his parents are giving her money too. The little girl is really smart but she is pulling the "she is a genius, therefore, she she needs to go to this 20K per year school". My husband and his brothers went to public school. His family is not the show off type, they are good/honest/simple people that worked hard. This woman is using the little girl to get everything she wants out of them, it pisses me off.

She wants the money to send the kid to school - not for her, for her kid! If your DH is okay with it then you should stay right out of it ... completely. The only thing you should do is make sure that whatever arrangement is made, it is not going to change (or at least you should know how it will change - inflation, etc.). The money his parents give her is none of your business (nor your DH's for that matter).

I agree that you sound mean. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

What the hell? You sound awful.

[Anonymous]

I don't see why the gifts the grandparents may give are of any concern to you. Grandparents spoil their grandchildren all the time and sometimes that includes expensive private schools. I agree with the other posters that you don't seem like a very good stepmother - trying to provide the bare minimum for the stepdaughter. If this pisses you off this much, be careful because you could end up losing your husband over this. Is it your husband you want, or the $600 he provides for his daughter?

[Anonymous]

It's his child, you dumbass. $600 a month is nothing. Go to court and see how much more than $600 your husband will be mandated to pay.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, $600 a month is nothing, unless your DH makes less than his ex. And grandparents sending a grandchild to private school? Happens ALL THE TIME. You sound awful, not this girl's mom.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to agree with the PPs. I also am a step-mom and my husband foots the private school bill plus child support. I knew this getting into the marriage and not only respect this decision but encourage it.

Think of it this way: that child is your child's sibling. You want him/her to have every advantage so that they will grow up to be an outstanding human being. That child, your child's older sibling, will undoubtedly influence your offspring and you want it to be for the better.

$600/mo is very low. If your in-laws give her money so be it. They likely give your children money as well. That's what grandparents do.

[Anonymous]

I agree you should not begrudge the decision to send the child to a good school. And it's not really your business what the grandparents do.

[Anonymous]

What does your husband have to say? This is really none of your business. Its his child too and he should pay a part of her expenses if he is able

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband gives her about $600 per month and his parents give her money too, I am not sure how much. She makes about $50K and lives by herself with the little girl. She just bought a brand new Lexus and want to put the 3 year old in a 20K per year school. How on earth can she afford this? she is milking my husband's parents because she know that they are head over heels for the little girl. This makes me so mad!!! but what's worst is that my husband and her never been to court regarding child support or visitation rights, their deal is $600 per month and thats it. I want him to go to court and put everything in paper, but I dont want any conflicts wit him or his family. I feel like she is taking advantage of him and his family.

Please read that again. OP, honestly, do you feel good about yourself writing that? Not to mention that perhaps you begrudge a good education because you clearly lacked one...