How much notice to give when quitting a volunteer role?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling good boundaries. That’s good Girl Scouting, not bad.

+1.
Nearly ever parent in our troop has a volunteer role and if they don't, the leaders ask them for help with specific things. GS does not work well with handsoff parents.

I am not the cookie parent but I've done that Saturday morning cookie pickup sometimes so she can be out of town. That's how a functional troop works.

Also, the girls are supposed to spend down their funds. Your money manager should have required that. Sounds like multiple people aren't engaged here, sorry to say.

I’m OP and should clarify we are in a council that doesn’t require spend-down to a certain amount annually. I know it differs across the country. For this reason, many of our troops become travel troops as the girls get older. Unfortunately the older girls who are left have quite different interests so finding one trip to suit them has proven challenging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them now that you are not going to volunteer in the same capacity next year. Next year, say the three activities that you will do and only do those. Politely say no when they mention or ask you to do 18 other things. Don’t sign up for the things you don’t want to do. When parents try and pressure you into doing cookies say “No, I have done them the last three years, I am enjoying Aruba this year” or sleeping in on a Saturday morning and not picking up cookies.

If your daughter likes the outdoor activities and wants to do more outdoor activities, like camp, look for a different Girl Scout Troop that does those things or join a Girls Troop for Scouts BSA. I know that camping and all the outdoor activities are there in Girl Scouts but very few Troops do them. They take extra training and bodies and Girl Scout Troops are small. The pool of volunteers is small so it is harder to do some activities. One of the benefits to a Girls Troop in Scouts BSA is that the Troop is likely to be larger so there are more volunteers. This makes camping and outdoor activities easier to put together. The monthly camping trips are a part of the program and the Scouts and Adult volunteers know that when they sign up so they happen.

Just keep in mind that these are very, VERY different organizations with different value systems and histories. I could say more but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Girl scouts does have plenty of options through the council for outdoor activities. I supplemented with these when I was a part of a troop that was more into arts and crafts than the outdoor side. I did backpacking trips, orienteering, knots, outdoor cooking, etc. all locally and with girls my own age but not from my local troop.

[Anonymous]

I was a GS assistant leader for a few years. Not affiliated with a school but same issues. I told mine I wouldn’t be doing it again and gave a few months notice. The troop did disband but I felt no guilt. My kid does other activities now but not GS

[Anonymous]

When I become involved with something like this, one of the first things I do is to look for who might replace me and get that person involved. It makes for an easy transition. Last year I moved on from being the Scoutmaster of a large all-girl Scouts BSA Troop. It was easy because we were able to announce in January who would become the next Scoutmaster starting July. Another thing I do is largely absent myself from the organization for about six months after the transition. Otherwise, the new person does not fully engage – you just need to be supportive behind the scenes and accept that the new leader will do things differently. I advise that the OP take a look at who might be a successor and get that person engaged now – even if only modestly. You might even be able to convince that person to take it on and make a good transition at the end of the school year.

[Anonymous]

There is plenty of time now to tell everyone this will be your last year.
Frankly, the fact that you're outdoor trained is **amazing** and your troop parents should really appreciate that!
If I were you, I would tell everyone now that next year you would be willing to continue being the outdoor trained volunteer and help with camping trips and cookouts, but that you will no longer be the meeting leader or cookie manager.
If no one steps up, you have 2 choices:
1. Just quit. If the troop disbands, that's not on you. You did far more than anyone else!
2. Keep the troop officially, but don't do badge work and *absolutely* don't sell cookies. You have plenty of money, so no reason to deal with cookie drama. Just plan some camping trips and fun outings and invite the girls who are registered.

In any case, don't feel guilty!

[Anonymous]

Is Boy Scouts similar with this everyone needs to be involved and volunteer dynamic? I had been thinking about having DS join (2nd grade) but he has a Saturday activity and 3-4 activities during the week, so I’m not sure we’d be able to attend every BS event.

This is not to say OP’s situation is not unfair! I think she’s done more than her share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I become involved with something like this, one of the first things I do is to look for who might replace me and get that person involved. It makes for an easy transition. Last year I moved on from being the Scoutmaster of a large all-girl Scouts BSA Troop. It was easy because we were able to announce in January who would become the next Scoutmaster starting July. Another thing I do is largely absent myself from the organization for about six months after the transition. Otherwise, the new person does not fully engage – you just need to be supportive behind the scenes and accept that the new leader will do things differently. I advise that the OP take a look at who might be a successor and get that person engaged now – even if only modestly. You might even be able to convince that person to take it on and make a good transition at the end of the school year.

This seems so… calculated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is plenty of time now to tell everyone this will be your last year.
Frankly, the fact that you're outdoor trained is **amazing** and your troop parents should really appreciate that!
If I were you, I would tell everyone now that next year you would be willing to continue being the outdoor trained volunteer and help with camping trips and cookouts, but that you will no longer be the meeting leader or cookie manager.
If no one steps up, you have 2 choices:
1. Just quit. If the troop disbands, that's not on you. You did far more than anyone else!
2. Keep the troop officially, but don't do badge work and *absolutely* don't sell cookies. You have plenty of money, so no reason to deal with cookie drama. Just plan some camping trips and fun outings and invite the girls who are registered.

In any case, don't feel guilty!

OP here and I love option #2! I'm trying to imagine my response when new girls want to join or a parent says "when is our first meeting?". I guess I'll have to say "per my note last year, I'm not longer leading the troop but I'll be maintaining my outdoor certification and will be available as a second volunteer for Encamporees and other outdoor outings."

I think what will help is when I share that I won't be leading next year, I'll outline a list of specific roles that I'm currently covering and our retiring leaders are covering and the certification/training required for each. 1-3 people can choose to cover all of them, or any of the other 32 adult caregivers could take one of those roles and responsibility can be spread across the troop.

The biggest challenge to me is parents who are used to paid activities. This is a cohort that almost forfeited a season when charged with finding a parent to serve as parent coach for the neighborhood rec soccer team- 1 practice/week, 1 game/week (my child doesn't play soccer or else I probably would have caved). The season only happened because one of the parents hired a professional soccer coach for 2nd grade soccer and had all of the parents pitch in to cover the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I become involved with something like this, one of the first things I do is to look for who might replace me and get that person involved. It makes for an easy transition. Last year I moved on from being the Scoutmaster of a large all-girl Scouts BSA Troop. It was easy because we were able to announce in January who would become the next Scoutmaster starting July. Another thing I do is largely absent myself from the organization for about six months after the transition. Otherwise, the new person does not fully engage – you just need to be supportive behind the scenes and accept that the new leader will do things differently. I advise that the OP take a look at who might be a successor and get that person engaged now – even if only modestly. You might even be able to convince that person to take it on and make a good transition at the end of the school year.

This seems so… calculated.

I think it's actually smart to be calculated about volunteering unless it's a one-off, one-day event. It's treating a volunteer role like a job, which it is, albeit an unpaid one. I had a friend step up to lead our PTO and she would have been taking over for someone who had served for 2 years, which isn't the norm in our area. She asked why the current leader had done 2 years and they said it was because no one else wanted to take over after year 1. She ended up volunteering for something else because it was clear that it would be a thankless task and she would be cornered into doing more than the original ask.

I'm the OP and one of the mistakes I made in volunteering for this troop in the first place is stepping up when a bunch of the little girls begged to be Girl Scouts and all the parents said "we don't have any experience and can't volunteer because we don't know what we're doing." I was too young of a parent to not realize that's a cop-out and their way of saying "we don't want to do it" with a clear conscience, so I stepped up and learned. Now I know how these parents work and it was a valuable lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP. Thanks for your volunteer work! Girl scouts can be such a wonderful experience. I loved my days in scouts.
Is there a way to quiet quit this or maybe just draw a hard line with what you will do? Send out an email saying for example "Next year my capacity will allow me to 1. lead these three outdoor events 2. lead the second meeting of the month where we will work on badge requirements in my field of interest and 3. maintain first aid/CPR certification for when we need an adult with those qualifications present. I unable to manage cookie sales or the first meeting of the month going forward." And then if no one steps up don't back down. Troops don't have to have cookie sales and don't have to meet every week or whatever. You can say that brownies are only meeting on x dates due to a lack of volunteers. Tell them there won't be cookie sales without a cookie parent from the troop. It may be a disappointment for the girls but having no troop would be worse. I don't know that the parents take you seriously since you keep doing the things you say you don't want to.
I can't believe they don't want to plan trips! My troop went to Disneyworld and on a cruise.

Thanks, you get it! I actually tried most of what you said this year! I literally stated at the outset of the school year that this would not be my priority this year due to other commitments and that without additional volunteers I would only be able to do x number of meetings around y topics. Of course no one replied but after the first meeting there were tons of emails suggesting topics “we” should cover this year or asking why “we” weren’t having a meeting in November. The parents who claim to be too busy to help seem to manage to show up a half hour before pickup at meetings- long enough to second guess and sow chaos, but not long enough to contribute in a meaningful (+ background-checked) way. The retiring cookie mom and I have told other parents for the last 18 months that we will not have cookies next year if no one trains this year, but they must think she’s bluffing.

The money thing is weird. The older girls have thousands of dollars they’ve earners and the younger girls are on track to be in a similar situation. No one can agree on how to spend it so it sits. I’ve thrown out all sorts of national park trips, official Girl Scout trips, weekend adventures, etc., but the girls have no spark when it comes to planning.

I think they’re really privileged and used to parents imagining life for them- it’s actually one of the reasons I stuck around this year. Once in a while I see them learn something new or stretch beyond what their parents typically allow and it feels so good to help facilitate that.

I say this kindly… but first, you sound like a very nice person who steps up when other people don’t, and that can be admirable. However, the bad side about this is that you’re a pushover. You got called on your bluff regarding the time you had for your commitment and now you’re in this position of doing most of the work again.

You need to be firm, and if that means that the troop dies, then it will. But my experience, as a scout family, (and I also saw this in our PTA), when you hold firm, somebody else will step up at that very last minute to keep the troop or PTA from closing. You just have to believe that, but be ready to move to a different troop in in case it does.

But I agree with other people that are cookie mom should be present to receive cookies for their daughters to sell. We have to learn how to say no and hold firm.

[Anonymous]

I'm a GS mom and see nothing wrong with you leaving. I would also let the school know and ask them to send a message to all the eligible parents to see if someone else is interested in taking over. You should look for another troop so your daughter can continue if no one else steps up.

We can't do it all.There have been years I just didn't have the time or energy to do cookie sales. Our family gave a cash donation instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling good boundaries. That’s good Girl Scouting, not bad.

+1.
Nearly ever parent in our troop has a volunteer role and if they don't, the leaders ask them for help with specific things. GS does not work well with handsoff parents.

I am not the cookie parent but I've done that Saturday morning cookie pickup sometimes so she can be out of town. That's how a functional troop works.

Also, the girls are supposed to spend down their funds. Your money manager should have required that. Sounds like multiple people aren't engaged here, sorry to say.

Agree that this is how it needs to work, and it's challenging with working parents who are used to paying for dropoff activities. My kid was in a troop where most parents (including me) stepped up to handle something, because you have to.

OP, step out of this with zero guilt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling good boundaries. That’s good Girl Scouting, not bad.

+1.
Nearly ever parent in our troop has a volunteer role and if they don't, the leaders ask them for help with specific things. GS does not work well with handsoff parents.

I am not the cookie parent but I've done that Saturday morning cookie pickup sometimes so she can be out of town. That's how a functional troop works.

Also, the girls are supposed to spend down their funds. Your money manager should have required that. Sounds like multiple people aren't engaged here, sorry to say.

Agree that this is how it needs to work, and it's challenging with working parents who are used to paying for dropoff activities. My kid was in a troop where most parents (including me) stepped up to handle something, because you have to.

OP, step out of this with zero guilt.

I already mentioned this but we don’t live in DMV anymore and do not have a spend down policy- our only requirement is that we complete financial reporting annually. Our money manager is our cookie mom and she follows policy.

I’m not the cookie mom, the cookie mom is the mom of some of the older girls in the troop, and I’m just one of the few people who steps up to help with cookie warehouse drop and sorting. When our younger girls joined the troop, it was agreed by all parents that it would be a co-op troop and responsibility for hosting meetings and doing cookie trainings would rotate, with each parent registering and getting background training and taking one meeting/month. Most parents never bothered with even registering despite repeated follow-ups and I ended up running meetings so the girls would at least be trained for cookie sales and camping. At that point I should have bailed, but my daughter and one of her troop mates were very dedicated and invested and I wanted to make it work for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are modeling good boundaries. That’s good Girl Scouting, not bad.

+1.
Nearly ever parent in our troop has a volunteer role and if they don't, the leaders ask them for help with specific things. GS does not work well with handsoff parents.

I am not the cookie parent but I've done that Saturday morning cookie pickup sometimes so she can be out of town. That's how a functional troop works.

Also, the girls are supposed to spend down their funds. Your money manager should have required that. Sounds like multiple people aren't engaged here, sorry to say.

Agree that this is how it needs to work, and it's challenging with working parents who are used to paying for dropoff activities. My kid was in a troop where most parents (including me) stepped up to handle something, because you have to.

OP, step out of this with zero guilt.

I already mentioned this but we don’t live in DMV anymore and do not have a spend down policy- our only requirement is that we complete financial reporting annually. Our money manager is our cookie mom and she follows policy.

I’m not the cookie mom, the cookie mom is the mom of some of the older girls in the troop, and I’m just one of the few people who steps up to help with cookie warehouse drop and sorting. When our younger girls joined the troop, it was agreed by all parents that it would be a co-op troop and responsibility for hosting meetings and doing cookie trainings would rotate, with each parent registering and getting background training and taking one meeting/month. Most parents never bothered with even registering despite repeated follow-ups and I ended up running meetings so the girls would at least be trained for cookie sales and camping. At that point I should have bailed, but my daughter and one of her troop mates were very dedicated and invested and I wanted to make it work for them.

I guess I’m just really mean but I would send this email back out to every single parent and say you must do this by x date or your daughter will not be allowed to participate in the troop. This is what I did in our scout group and the kick in the pants was what parents needed and to my recollection everybody signed up for a volunteer role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Boy Scouts similar with this everyone needs to be involved and volunteer dynamic? I had been thinking about having DS join (2nd grade) but he has a Saturday activity and 3-4 activities during the week, so I’m not sure we’d be able to attend every BS event.

This is not to say OP’s situation is not unfair! I think she’s done more than her share.

Yes, this probably varies by troop and might be different for older kids but my son did Boy Scouts in 1st and 2nd grade years ago and they wanted a parent to stay at every meeting for each kid. They also had weekend camp outs a lot where a parent had to stay with the child. He wanted to be a part of everything so we went but it gets too hard when you have other activities and other children as well.
Though, I know now there is always a volunteer requirement once you get into the competitive levels of sports or dance even when you are paying a ton of money.
When my girls did gymnastics we were required to complete 40 hours of volunteer work per season or they’d cash our deposit check. It was the same with swim and dance so now I’d expect to volunteer especially with a lower cost activity.