How do Christians handle suicide of family member

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I’d never discuss the death of her child unless she brought it up. The death of a child, no matter the cause, is something a parent will never get over. Discussing at any point whether she thinks her son “went to hell” is not a topic that should be brought up in conversation to this mother, or any parent. What a Christian believes about suicide is personal and varies.

OP here-I have only discussed the death of my friend's grandchild with her when she called me and brought it up. I would never tell anybody their loved one was going to hell, or heaven for that matter, since I don't believe in either and don't presume to question other people's beliefs in conversation with them. I asked my question here because I wonder how Christians cope with suicide, especially when a child is involved, given the impression I have which is that Christians seem to often believe that everything that happens is God's will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I’d never discuss the death of her child unless she brought it up. The death of a child, no matter the cause, is something a parent will never get over. Discussing at any point whether she thinks her son “went to hell” is not a topic that should be brought up in conversation to this mother, or any parent. What a Christian believes about suicide is personal and varies.

OP here-I have only discussed the death of my friend's grandchild with her when she called me and brought it up. I would never tell anybody their loved one was going to hell, or heaven for that matter, since I don't believe in either and don't presume to question other people's beliefs in conversation with them. I asked my question here because I wonder how Christians cope with suicide, especially when a child is involved, given the impression I have which is that Christians seem to often believe that everything that happens is God's will.

No, most Christians believe in free will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were you, I’d never discuss the death of her child unless she brought it up. The death of a child, no matter the cause, is something a parent will never get over. Discussing at any point whether she thinks her son “went to hell” is not a topic that should be brought up in conversation to this mother, or any parent. What a Christian believes about suicide is personal and varies.

OP here-I have only discussed the death of my friend's grandchild with her when she called me and brought it up. I would never tell anybody their loved one was going to hell, or heaven for that matter, since I don't believe in either and don't presume to question other people's beliefs in conversation with them. I asked my question here because I wonder how Christians cope with suicide, especially when a child is involved, given the impression I have which is that Christians seem to often believe that everything that happens is God's will.

There has been much debate over the Christian views on suicide, with early Christians believing that suicide is sinful and an act of blasphemy. Modern Christians do not consider suicide an unforgivable sin (though still wrong and sinful) or something that prevents a believer who died by suicide from achieving eternal life.

In the past, the Catholic Church would not conduct funeral services for persons who killed themselves, and they could not be buried in a Catholic cemetery. However, the church lifted the prohibition on funerals for suicide victims in the 1980s.

Despite the fact that historical Catholic doctrine (possibly influenced by the Baltimore Catechism which was used until the 1960s generally considered suicide to be an actual mortal sin, the Catholic Church rejected this conclusion with the introduction of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which declared that:

We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_views_on_suicide

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why people on this board believe all Catholics think the same way. There are as many Catholic modes of thought as there are Catholics.

My Catholic family is very liberal. Suicide would be considered a tragedy, but nothing problematic in terms of the Church. My Catholic friend lost a relative to suicide, and it was the same - they mourned the loss, but they didn't have any particular religious issue. I've never personally heard of any priest or Church refusing to do the funeral or burial for a suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why people on this board believe all Catholics think the same way. There are as many Catholic modes of thought as there are Catholics.

My Catholic family is very liberal. Suicide would be considered a tragedy, but nothing problematic in terms of the Church. My Catholic friend lost a relative to suicide, and it was the same - they mourned the loss, but they didn't have any particular religious issue. I've never personally heard of any priest or Church refusing to do the funeral or burial for a suicide.

I don’t think many posters here have accurate information about many facets of various religions. They have encountered someone in the past that was abusive or an extremely terrible person who was a Christian, and have based their entire opinion of Christianity on that one person. There is one particular poster who was verbally abused by her aunt (why her own mother didn’t step in and stop the abuse she never explains or even acknowledges) and told some inaccurate and harmful things by this obviously mentally ill aunt. This poster was scarred and still is affected by the things her aunt told her as a child. Why would her mom not tell her own sister to stop telling her child such harmful and awful things I have no idea! It’s gross! Mom must have been absent and uncaring while crazy aunt had her way, damaging this young family member.

At any rate, people with questions like this can google them as well. I’d rather get a baseline answer from an official source about these topics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don't understand why people on this board believe all Catholics think the same way. There are as many Catholic modes of thought as there are Catholics.

My Catholic family is very liberal. Suicide would be considered a tragedy, but nothing problematic in terms of the Church. My Catholic friend lost a relative to suicide, and it was the same - they mourned the loss, but they didn't have any particular religious issue. I've never personally heard of any priest or Church refusing to do the funeral or burial for a suicide.

+1. Or that all Christians think like that one single Catholic mode of thought they’re imagining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes
What does religion have to do with it
You will grieve the same way you do any death

Nobody believes the catholic doctrine, but a catholic priest can refuse to do the funeral if he knows the person died from suicide

They can also refuse to bury the person in a church cemetery.

When is the last time this happened, though.

My mother took her life in 1999. She had a catholic service, but could not be burried in the church cemetery. She was cremated and my grandmother would spread her ashes here and there at places that held special memories. Many family members avoided talking about it. Grandma talked about her to anyone willing. She viewed it as an accident due to her illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes
What does religion have to do with it
You will grieve the same way you do any death

Nobody believes the catholic doctrine, but a catholic priest can refuse to do the funeral if he knows the person died from suicide

They can also refuse to bury the person in a church cemetery.

When is the last time this happened, though.

My mother took her life in 1999. She had a catholic service, but could not be burried in the church cemetery. She was cremated and my grandmother would spread her ashes here and there at places that held special memories. Many family members avoided talking about it. Grandma talked about her to anyone willing. She viewed it as an accident due to her illness.

http://cfcsmission.org/faq/can-someone-who-committed-suicide-be-buried-in-a-catholic-cemetery/

The Catholic church had changed its stance on that issue for decades before your mother committed suicide.

[Anonymous]

OP here-I'm not sure why this thread has focused on the Catholic approach to suicide, my friend and her family are not Catholic. My question really had to do with whether Christians typically find comfort in their faith when a family member commits suicide, especially as in this case when it is a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here-I'm not sure why this thread has focused on the Catholic approach to suicide, my friend and her family are not Catholic. My question really had to do with whether Christians typically find comfort in their faith when a family member commits suicide, especially as in this case when it is a teenager.

Catholics are Christian. What is the religious denomination of your friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes
What does religion have to do with it
You will grieve the same way you do any death

Nobody believes the catholic doctrine, but a catholic priest can refuse to do the funeral if he knows the person died from suicide

They can also refuse to bury the person in a church cemetery.

That’s been changed for many years now.

[Anonymous]

The emotional pain of the suicide of a family member cannot be over estimated. I belong to a survivors group snd they are still grieving quietly many years later. OP please be careful what you say. I think many Christians believe that God has let them down in this moment and it is too painful to discuss. Along with all the other painful feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The emotional pain of the suicide of a family member cannot be over estimated. I belong to a survivors group snd they are still grieving quietly many years later. OP please be careful what you say. I think many Christians believe that God has let them down in this moment and it is too painful to discuss. Along with all the other painful feelings.

Yes, and also family may be angry at their family member for “leaving them,” or angry at other family members for not doing a “good enough” job stopping a loved one from killing themselves. It’s really not for an outside person to ask any questions. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Not suicide but my MIL lost her 4 year old daughter to cancer years ago. She was a Christian all of her life up until then but the death of her child made her no longer believe in God.

I would imagine that a child's suicide would make many people question their faith.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not suicide but my MIL lost her 4 year old daughter to cancer years ago. She was a Christian all of her life up until then but the death of her child made her no longer believe in God.

I would imagine that a child's suicide would make many people question their faith.

OP here-I understand that. I had a friend years ago who told me when her husband lost an eye in a tragic accident she stopped believing in God.

I will likely never have a discussion with my friend that involves her faith or beliefs, it is not something we discuss, but this tragedy has caused me to actually hope her Christian faith is helping her somehow but I fear it isn't.