Really depressed. I have nothing to look forward to.

[Anonymous]

This year has been pretty hard. I usually at least have a vacation to look forward to, but to avoid layoffs, we agreed to no vacations until next year. I thought maybe growing a garden this year might cheer me up (I usually don’t because we travel) so I bought a whole seedling starter set, nice new planters, some fun solar lights for my yard, and thought I would really enjoy that, but I’m almost too depressed to even think about starting it. I’ve never felt so hopeless or low. I’ve considered a couple long weekend trips, but then I’m thinking, they probably won’t bring much joy and I should just save the money and parlay it into a BIG trip next year, which will bring me joy.

I just feel like there is nothing to wake up for. I’m not feeling like I’m going to harm myself or anything like that, but man, I am so sad all the time. I don’t know what my question even is. Just feeling really sorry for myself and needed to vent.

[Anonymous]

OK I have two suggestions.

1) Are you getting enough sleep?

2) Are you getting enough sunlight?

If not, fix those things first.

Then...try to find a bunch of TV or YouTube comedy specials and watch them until you have laughed for a while.

Also consider doing any activity that you really enjoyed as a child. For me these are reading for hours and going to the theater.

Another possibility...some kind of experience or spectacle...like Cirque Du Soleil or a Kusama art exhibit or a concert in a big church.

Good luck feeling better OP!

[Anonymous]

Hang in there, OP. There is so much good in store for you-- but this is a rough patch and you will see it through. Keep the strength.

[Anonymous]

To avoid layoffs in your small business? Is that a good idea? Maybe you need the layoffs

[Anonymous]

Get annual physical done, seek therapy, start exercise, write a gratitude journal and join a book club.

Instead if fancy vacations, take mini trips to areas within driving distance. Downtowns, beaches, lakes, hills, whatever is there within 2-3 hr drive, explore it.

[Anonymous]

I get this and feel the same way in January and February. I read more books and sleep more. It is what it is. Eventually spring comes and I start to feel better.

I agree that sunlight might help but when the clocked changed, I lost my only chance at sunlight. I wish it would be light longer at night.

[Anonymous]

7-8 hours sleep every night like it’s religion - weekends too

Use a lightbox for 30-60 minutes every early morning - it will help with sleep and mood

Get outside for a walk every nice day you can, at least a couple of times a week

We are in the depths of winter, it is bleak and the news is bad on a daily basis. Keep thinking about that garden, before you know it the crocuses will emerge - any day now! If you live in the DC metro area, get thee to the national arboretum next month for a mood lift.

[Anonymous]

Struggling as well. Even with cutting back on alcohol, increasing working out and getting my vitamins, and trying to eat healthy (but appetite fluctuates depending on time of month). No one that I connect with or can depend on, not even work due to unforeseen circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Op - people get laid off and they bounce back and find new jobs.
Don’t ruin your own life bc of this

[Anonymous]

Winter is hard on me, I basically just gut it out and wait for spring. It would be hard for me not to travel though. Our house is very dated and we drive old cars so we can travel. Can you cut back in other ways?

[Anonymous]

That is what we call, in Germany, Torschlusspanik. Gate shut panic.

[Anonymous]

Go explore. It will give you a dopamine boost like you get from travel. Maybe not as much, but it will help. You can do this small scale or big. Small: go to an ethnic grocery store and marvel at unfamiliar products, try something you’ve never tasted; go to an offbeat museum (ex, National Museum of Health and Medicine in Silver Spring, Sackler Gallery); go treasure hunting at a big flea market or antique mall; buy a ticket for a band you only know casually or an opera you’ve never heard of. Bigger: within a few hours drive, you can go to historic towns, the beach, Audubon Nature Reserve. You can day trips by train to Baltimore, Philadelphia, etc, get cheap tickets and go on a self guided walking tour and you won’t even spend much. Or treat yourself! The point is to stimulate your brain by seeing new things. Simply getting out will make you feel loads better. Heck, even wandering IKEA makes me feel better.

Don’t let yourself get stuck in this rut. I did and I lost three years of my life. I regret not pulling myself out sooner. Commit yourself by making plans with a friend or buying tickets in advance.

[Anonymous]

Are you in financial trouble and trying to cut back on costs? Or is this an "I'm not getting my annual trip to Europe"? Honestly, I can't tell, and I don't mean offense by it.

Firstly, I echo what others have said about winter. It sucks - especially if you're not from a cold climate. It takes some getting used to, and 17 years in I still have not adjusted to the cold, grey skies. It will pass, though, and then you'll be complaining about humidity and mosquitoes.

Secondly, don't dismiss weekend/local trips. I know that we glamorize big blowout trips but I've had some of the best family time on weekend trips. Last fall, I went to Philly with the family and we had a fantastic time. Kids loved it and we enjoyed walking around. There are a lot of drivable, world class destinations from DC. Take advantage of it - even if just a day in NYC, or the beach. Also, you can drive to FL, too, for a long-er weekend. You can make it cheap and just a few days. I've done that drive to Jax and it's not bad.

Finally, have some perspective. Life moves in waves. This may be a low but just keep telling yourself that it's about to turn a corner. I've done pain management therapy for a chronic pain issue and one of the most important components is your inner monologue - what you keep telling yourself will eventually become your reality. So give yourself positive reinforcement and it will help. I have a book with exercises on this and it has really changed my life.

Best of luck, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go explore. It will give you a dopamine boost like you get from travel. Maybe not as much, but it will help. You can do this small scale or big. Small: go to an ethnic grocery store and marvel at unfamiliar products, try something you’ve never tasted; go to an offbeat museum (ex, National Museum of Health and Medicine in Silver Spring, Sackler Gallery); go treasure hunting at a big flea market or antique mall; buy a ticket for a band you only know casually or an opera you’ve never heard of. Bigger: within a few hours drive, you can go to historic towns, the beach, Audubon Nature Reserve. You can day trips by train to Baltimore, Philadelphia, etc, get cheap tickets and go on a self guided walking tour and you won’t even spend much. Or treat yourself! The point is to stimulate your brain by seeing new things. Simply getting out will make you feel loads better. Heck, even wandering IKEA makes me feel better.

Don’t let yourself get stuck in this rut. I did and I lost three years of my life. I regret not pulling myself out sooner. Commit yourself by making plans with a friend or buying tickets in advance.

This. Feeling similar these days and bought concert tickets for myself (even if I have to go solo) to have something to look forward to.

[Anonymous]

I can see travel is your passion. You are suffering at the thought of no travel - so you need to plan something. Dont discount those long weekends!

I’m not sure what is up with your employer’s no vacation strategy - like you cannot take any vacation for 2024? No days off at all, you are working every single day? That seems crazy.

4th of July is a Thurs, can you also take off Friday to create a 4 day weekend? That is enough to travel somewhere for a great adventure - I would try to get that day off & plan something good.

If they won’t even allow that, I’d be job hunting.