WFO expecting SAHP & WFHP to be their substitutes

[Anonymous]

Is it fair for commuters to ask their SAHP and WFHP neighbors and friends to drive and babysit their children often?

Obviously, no one minds helping out in emergency but its not someone else's problem if you regularly can't show up for your offspring or decided to live far from your work. One may be also picking their kid but planning to stop for lunch or at grandma's house or rush home for a meeting or chore, not dropping extra kids at their home.

Shouldn't there be as much compensation as market rate and acceptance for people saying no if it doesn't suit them? Why one saying no comes out as unreasonable not the one asking?

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to do it, just say no and eventually they'll stop asking. Perhaps you're having social anxiety about it? Just say "That doesn't work for us, sorry" and be on your way.

We all have things we're easily able to do, and things we aren't. Ask them if they'd be willing to give you Saturday night babysitting and they'll probably say yes.

[Anonymous]

This is how SAHM=pushover stereotype gets entrenched, btw. Just tell them no, it's fine!

[Anonymous]

Often? No.

In a pinch sure.

Did they offer to pay you back in some way, like taking your kids somewhere on the weekend?

[Anonymous]

Just say no, OP, that's fine.

If you're looking for compensation, by all means post your availability and rate on a local board and you'll have tons of parents take you up on it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your friend needs to sign up for aftercare.

Sorry they have put you in an awkward situation - ya it’s totally inappropriate for them to ask you to do that on a regular basis without pay.

[Anonymous]

I’d say no every single time.
You want to pay me, maybe we can talk. And maybe even then I’ll still say no.

Not being a jerk, but in a pinch, make a babysitting offer. $30-50 for a day. At least it pays for me to get an easy dinner for us, since I have less bandwidth to get stuff done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is how SAHM=pushover stereotype gets entrenched, btw. Just tell them no, it's fine!

And if you can’t handle saying no, simply ignore the calls/texts and then reply a few hours later “So sorry, my phone was off, I was in meetings all day.”

Once you become consistently unreliable, they’ll stop asking. Of course, you could also be direct and say “No, that doesn’t work.”

[Anonymous]

People can ask for whatever they want, whenever they want. Doesn't mean others have to say yes.

[Anonymous]

I've been a SAHM/very PT worker for almost 16 years. I have to say this really has not been an issue for me at all. If anything, it was really only an issue when my kids were very small and the "favors" were mostly asked by other SAHM's.

[Anonymous]

Weird that this bothers you. It's fine to say no if you cannot or don't want to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People can ask for whatever they want, whenever they want. Doesn't mean others have to say yes.

Of course people can do what they want. That doesn't make them well-mannered.

[Anonymous]

if you don't want to, just say no!

I'm a PT working parent who always hangs out with my kids on the days off of school, and we have one neighborhood kid whose parents often call me to ask if I can... sometimes I say yes, and sometimes i say no, and it's all fine. we love the family and my kids are good friends with the kid. I don't think there is any expectation there -- they are just asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d say no every single time.
You want to pay me, maybe we can talk. And maybe even then I’ll still say no.

Not being a jerk, but in a pinch, make a babysitting offer. $30-50 for a day. At least it pays for me to get an easy dinner for us, since I have less bandwidth to get stuff done.

That's not nearly enough. You know they are making good money, while you are the one making it possible by watching their kid for them. They should split their salary with you-50/50. So for someone making $200,000/year, that's about $650 per day (before taxes.) I'd want at least $250 to watch the kid for the day. If this parent didn't want to pay me that, they can arrange for real childcare (nanny/daycare) instead.

[Anonymous]

This has been happening many years. Some people are entitled. I did it once for a few weeks and learned to say no. Now it’s always no. I don’t want to be paid. I am home for my family not yours.