Any problem wearing rainbows, pride bracelets, rainbow shoes in South?

[Anonymous]

Will anyone give a 13 year old a hard time for wearing rainbow clothes and paraphernalia in Southeast? Visiting extended family in rural North Carolina, South Carolina, and Georgia including big family reunions and side trips to small towns.

I just realized her only sneakers and sandals both have rainbow patterns and if she packs her own shirts, they'll all be rainbow patterned. Some say pride, some just rainbows. Not officially out to any extended family though she has told immediate family about recent crushes on girls. I'd never want her to hide who she is but I also want to protect her from ignorant or biased comments. She won't want to cut off her string bracelets but those are subtle.

Am I overthinking this? Or would it be prudent to run out and buy different shoes? I have no idea if the pride clothing explosion we get here in metropolitan areas happens in the rural South.

I hope it's clear that my question is well meaning. Thanks for any advice.

[Anonymous]

I only know that my gay and lesbian friends in the rural south don't wear rainbow or pride clothing on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

I'd imagine it really depends on where and especially what your family is like. It would 100% draw rude comments from my extended family in rural North Carolina, but that's not a universal experience, and I'd expect more comments from my family than I would from strangers on the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd imagine it really depends on where and especially what your family is like. It would 100% draw rude comments from my extended family in rural North Carolina, but that's not a universal experience, and I'd expect more comments from my family than I would from strangers on the street.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I haven't met a lot of these people before, so I have no idea their feelings about this and my husband isn't sure either. It's been years since they had one of these big reunions but there's talk about making it a more regular thing. Of course if people are mean we likely won't go back but this extended family reconnection has become very important to my husband's parents and aunts and uncles recently for a variety of reasons, so we're trying to go along with it.

I could say to DD, "hey, as you know, in some communities people are negatively biased and I don't want them to hurt your feelings or make judgements about you before they have a chance to get to know how awesome you are. Do you want to get some new shoes and pack neutral clothes for at least the first couple days?"

And let her decide. Does that make sense? Or would there be more serious concerns than a snide comment and I would be more direct?

Many days she'd likely respond well to the above and say "yeah that sucks that some people are ignorant jerks, I'll pack some shirts without words and get some shoes with you."
And other days she might say "why do you hate me so much and try to run my life?" Or "no one else will care. Only you care so much what I look like." Or "I don't care what they think of me!" And then double down and draw rainbows and "pride" on her forehead.

[Anonymous]

Invest in a more diverse wardrobe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invest in a more diverse wardrobe.

Maybe I'll pack for her. She has other clothes but rainbows are her favorites. With feet growing fast get only two fitting pairs are rainbow currently.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in southern georigia. I would think the shoes should be fine. I would forgo the shirts (or just bring one.) It will definately bring looks...and maybe comments..which could be a lot for a 13y old.

Last time I was there, I wore a pride hat while running around doing errands, and it definitely garnered some looks. But I am an old lesbian who has been out for a million years and don't care about the stares/comments.

[Anonymous]

Amazing that little girls aren’t allowed to wear rainbows anymore because of adult morons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amazing that little girls aren’t allowed to wear rainbows anymore because of adult morons.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

That’s complete nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Most won’t care, but those are some booted areas. Someone will care.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t worry about shoes, but maybe tone down the shirts? I wear rainbow checked vans on a daily basis and I’m not gay (though my child is, and why I have them). I can’t imagine people would assume anything about rainbow shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, southerns are, by and large, the most polite people with the best manners.

They may talk about your DD when they get home, but in public, it will nothing but pleasantries and manners.

You're more likely to get a snide comment from the blue collar corridor in the Northeast.

I'd be less inclined to send her to Philly or Boston, than to the south

That’s complete nonsense.

I grew up blue collar northeast and this is not nonsense. The most racist, bigoted people I know are from my hometown in NY. And I lived in Texas for almost two decades.

[Anonymous]

It's called "pride" for a reason.