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I'm trying to learn more about a person I know and their religion. I have concerns with allowing a friendship to develop between our children due to some proselytizing that has begun with my 8 year old DD.
1. They believe in the work of John nelson Darby and their publications were written by someone who followed his teachings. They mention "dispensationalists". 2. They hold Bible meetings on Wed. nights and Sunday mornings. They hold them in a "home church", and will not allow anyone to even step foot inside a church building for any reason. 3. They aren't allowed to have meals with people outside of their faith 4. They aren't allowed to go on vacations 5. They aren't allowed to watch TV 6. Children not allowed to read any books except for a select few non fiction Christian books and any religious publications of which they approve 7. Girls are not allowed to cut their hair 8. No Jewelry besides a watch 9. No Make-up 10. Girls wear head coverings (a doily type thing) at their "meetings" 11. Hold a "special meeting" (their terminology) twice a year 12. Girls are not allowed to wear pants 13. Going to a movie theater is not allowed. 14. Celebrating birthdays, Christmas, Easter, or any other Holiday besides Thanksgiving not allowed 15. Voting not allowed 16. 22 year old daughter not allowed to date. 17. Wife has to ask permission to go out, and has to return at the time her husband tells her to. 18. Wife was not allowed to go visit a sick relative 3 hours away because her husband said no and because she wouldn't be back in time for their Wednesday night "meeting" 19. Women/girls not allowed to speak during meetings, and can only join in hymns 20. The only musical instrument allowed in the home is a piano. 21. They recruit new members for their meetings in some secret way because I asked about how they became friends with one of their "members" who flies in from Iceland twice a year and was told that they place ads or something. I didn't question further because it sounded so unusual and I didn't want to pry anymore. 22. Do not put their kids in school (full disclosure...I homeschool also) I have tried researching and found information on "Two by Twos" and Plymouth Brethren and those are the two that fit most closely. Or could they just be Christian Fundamentalists....although they sound extreme even by Duggar standards right? |
| Does it matter if it's a cult or a sect? I can't imagine your children have much in common to base a friendship on. |
| I would just be clear with my child that people have all sorts of wild beliefs and that it doesn't mean she can't be friends with their child. I'd be worried about leaving my kids alone with the parents though! |
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What have they done to try to force your child to believe in their religion?
Any adults who you feel are not respecting the values and morals of you and your family overall should not be an influence in your young child’s life. If you feel they are not a good influence on your child, no more play dates. What they do for their family is their choice. |
They started sending home pamphlets and asking questions about our church, and making comments about my daughter wearing pants . Things like that . No our values don’t align and I wouldn’t have a problem with that if they would not try to convince my daughter that she should have THEIR beliefs because they are right and we are wrong lol. That’s definitely why I’m drawing the line . |
If they are sending home pamphlets you are not present during the play dates? You drop her off and pick her up? The pamphlets don’t have their church name or the name of their religion on them? What do the pamphlets say? I don’t see them asking questions about your church as bad; you are asking questions here on a message board about their church instead of asking them. At least they are asking you what you believe in person. How do you know so much about their religious practices but don’t know what church they attend? Did they ask you or your daughter about her pants? Most women wear pants so I can’t believe they were questioning her why she wears pants. If you are sending your daughter on unsupervised play dates with people you don’t know very well at their home and then do not ask them these questions and voice your concerns about it directly to them, it’s on you to not allow the situation to occur or continue. They told your daughter that your family has the wrong religion and you are asking here about it and not bringing the issue up with them? That’s crazy. |
| What did the pamphlets say? |
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The pamphlets were general "Jesus Loves You", and About salvation. Again, there was no denomination on them, and that's all I"m trying to figure out because the mother merely says they are Christians and they have church in their home. The other details were learned over the course of a few months.
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So why don’t you ask her! When did she try to convert your child and tell her your family is the wrong religion? Does her child come to your home for play dates! |
| My goodness! I did ask her. I didn’t ask here for advice about handling this I’m curious if anyone knows anything about this type of sect . That’s it lol. Anyone know anything about a religious sect that has these beliefs ? |
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OP - I was raised in a church that is very closely aligned with the what was historically known as the Plymouth Brethren. Was it conservative? Yes. But it involved NOTHING like the legalistic rules that you describe. (FWIW, I am a female attorney, I wear pants and makeup, I go in vacation, wear bikini’s, and (gasp) I like to drink wine).
I am a Christian, but emphatically believe that there is a difference between faith and following Christ vs. random “rules” that are not biblical. The rules you describe are not based in scripture. They sound like something from a cult. |
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PP here. I would also add that the reason you don’t find much about them in a google search is that they are a loosely organized group, not a denomination. They believe in self-governing churches.
Historically speaking, the Plymouth Brethren date back to the 1800s, but the modern congregations I am aware of in the mid-Atlantic region are floundering. I still attend church, but not one that is affiliated with the Plymouth Brethren. |
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Doesn't sound like Two by twos to me. We had neighbors for years that fit the 2x2's descriptions to a T (based on what I learned/read on Wikipedia). They didn't have tv, the mom wore no makeup and pants, had home meetings and no church name etc. But as Christians, they never proselytized to us, we had meals with them, they celebrated holidays etc. They were lovely and we miss them.
But your list sounds a lot more conservative. And I would not be ok with the comments about pants and the proselytizing...even as a lifelong Christian. |
| Sounds like closed brethren |
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OP here....after reading more and hearing the term "closed brethren", I think they may be "open" brethren. It seems to fit their "meetings", and other terminology she has used. They are fundamentalists for sure, and I have zero problems except when it comes to proselytizing, so that has to stop or I can't let my daughter get together over there anymore.
Thanks for all the help for those of you that chimed in. |