Rough sex amongst teens

[Anonymous]

I’m the mom of a 17 year old boy and I will absolutely talk to him about it. I’ve spoken to him about how porn makes it look like girls like rough sex and most don’t, and that real sex isn’t like porn. So we have a basis for this talk.

It’s scary and sad that this is the kind of “intimacy” our kids are in for. What about tenderness? Care? Pleasure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#boymoms need to step up and talk to their sons about this and stop it from happening. It can’t be all on the girls to stop these types of behaviors.

Girl moms need to teach their girls how to have enough confidence to say no.
And to defend themselves if some boy pushes things too far.

Both need to know Birds & Bees, sex ed, contraception, science and kindness.

Not abstinence. Not religious gobbledygook.

[Anonymous]

Thank you 19:46.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen there were news stories about how kids were sticking vodka tampons up their butts, but I never encountered anyone who had done it. There’s just some quota for “troubling teen trend” stories.

I’ve for real been around people doing that. You were lucky (though I totally agree with your point)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen daughter (not sexually active yet) and just read this article and now feel sick: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html

Please, please, please if you have heterosexual boys, talk to them and tell them this is not okay, and is truly dangerous.

I happen to be criminal defense attorney and can tell you that anyone who was accused of doing this to someone against their will would be looking at attempted murder charges if reported.

Is this the choking thing for a few years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why porn isn’t the harmless whatever “everyone looks at it!!!!11” thing that men and pick-me women always claim it is.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for sharing the guest link, OP. My kids (one of each) are young yet but it’s good to start thinking about how to have these conversations with them when they’re older.

[Anonymous]

But please, dcum, keep telling me that porn is harmless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen daughter (not sexually active yet) and just read this article and now feel sick: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html

Please, please, please if you have heterosexual boys, talk to them and tell them this is not okay, and is truly dangerous.

I happen to be criminal defense attorney and can tell you that anyone who was accused of doing this to someone against their will would be looking at attempted murder charges if reported.

Did you actually read the article? Says girls are agreeing to this quite often as well and even peer pressuring each other into it.

Submission and/or rough sex has the same benefits for successful overly stressed out teens as it does for successful stressed out adult woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you read it? Some said they could not speak and they blacked out and therefore could not withdraw consent even if they had given it! Scary that this is your reaction is blaming the girls, and not concern for them and the horribly abusive culture we adults have created.

I am not blaming them but making it clear it is a problem for both sexes. OP was making it about boys only when both boys and girls need to be aware and parents need to speak to both.

+1
I forwarded it to my 16 yo DD a d encouraged her to read the whole thing and share it with her friends if at all possible. Not because I’m against sex before marriage or a prude (she knows both are untrue). But because part of my job is teaching her how to stay safe and speak up for what she wants and doesn’t want.

It’s very important for both our daughters and our sons to know that this is 100% not normal or ok. Not as part of sex, and not as part of hooking up that stops short of sex. Even if others tell them otherwise. For many reasons, it’s a hard no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen daughter (not sexually active yet) and just read this article and now feel sick: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html

Please, please, please if you have heterosexual boys, talk to them and tell them this is not okay, and is truly dangerous.

I happen to be criminal defense attorney and can tell you that anyone who was accused of doing this to someone against their will would be looking at attempted murder charges if reported.

Did you actually read the article? Says girls are agreeing to this quite often as well and even peer pressuring each other into it.

Submission and/or rough sex has the same benefits for successful overly stressed out teens as it does for successful stressed out adult woman.

What benefits? Are you male or female? And how does this apply to teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#boymoms need to step up and talk to their sons about this and stop it from happening. It can’t be all on the girls to stop these types of behaviors.

Boys AND girls should also stop having casual sex, perhaps? Maybe only sex in the context of a committed relationship where they can actually TALK about stuff like this?

[Anonymous]

I shared this with my college aged DD and she confirmed this is commonplace. I had absolutely no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you read it? Some said they could not speak and they blacked out and therefore could not withdraw consent even if they had given it! Scary that this is your reaction is blaming the girls, and not concern for them and the horribly abusive culture we adults have created.

With a 22 yr old and 18 yr old this article horrified me. Will have a talk. I’m just disheartened at this bleak landscape the world offers to women right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a young teen daughter (not sexually active yet) and just read this article and now feel sick: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/12/opinion/choking-teen-sex-brain-damage.html

Please, please, please if you have heterosexual boys, talk to them and tell them this is not okay, and is truly dangerous.

I happen to be criminal defense attorney and can tell you that anyone who was accused of doing this to someone against their will would be looking at attempted murder charges if reported.

This is 100% a pron thing. There is a disturbing amount of pron content that depicts men choking their partners and their partners appearing to like it.

While I'm sure it's true some women legit DO enjoy being choked, I am willing to bet that's an extreme minority. And so you need to empower your daughters to assert themselves if someone tries this with them without their consent (and also teach them they don't need to consent just to please a partner). Knee the guy in the testes if you need to. Scratch him if you need to. Whatever it takes to get him off you. Then either have a frank conversation about consent and boundaries or kick him to the curb.