Baby at 51?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who had a baby at 50. Complete accident as she was skipping periods and thought she was in menopause. I’m not here to say that’s going well because it’s not, but it is possible

What part is not going well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this a lot. The women who yelled about not wanting babies when they were 35, are now 50+ and realize they missed out. They're heartbroken.

I hope younger women who can still get pregnant think very carefully about their choices.

A friend got accidentally pregnant at 39, has a partner who is up for it etc, yet she is “still thinking” if she wants a a baby. I wanna slap her! What is she thinking about?!
People are weird

Hit her again for me. (Multiple miscarriages over here)

Sorry about your miscarriages, but that doesn’t mean women should be expected to have babies they don’t really want. My OB told me that the largest demographic for abortions at her office are women in their 40s who already have kids and find themselves accidentally pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be really hard to parent a young child in the 50s. It’s physically demanding and a young person’a game.

Not if OP is well off. Outsource all the grunt and do the fun stuff with kiddo yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Will society judge me too hard if I have a baby at 51? If it’s even possible biologically.

I have a cousin who graduated architecht school at 36. We were talking about life and she said that it’s not too late to do things you want.
Her example was her becoming an architect at an older age.

But are these the same ?

I want this pretty bad. Is it that selfish? I don’t feel old at all.

Do it. No it isn't too old. It isn't selfish. You'll be just fine.

Also, this is the wrong place imo for this question. For some reason people here are passionately against having kids past 39. It's an odd thing here and just remember this is an anonymous board. DO it. My good friend had a child at 50 and she's the best mom and very happy.

Donna Mills' first child at 54 (now 28 years old and thriving), Jane Seymore twins at 50 and both thriving in college, Adrienne Barbeau twins at 50, Janet Jackson's first at 50, Naomi Campbell' first at 51 and her 2nd at 53, Supermodel Cheryl Tiegs had twins at 52, Brigitte Nelson had a child at 54, the list goes on and on... Most IVF Dr's cut off is 55. DO IT if that is what you want and no need to ask others what they think except your Dr.

That’s because the majority of posters here are old (55+). So many 60+ people too. They’re of a different generation with limited knowledge and resources so a baby past 39 seems completely wrong to them. They’re not fit to advise aspiring new parents.

This makes no sense.

55 year olds are OP’s peers. They could have been in high school at the same time. You’re arguing that other 50 year olds are clueless about the challenges 50 year olds would face having a baby???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who did it at 50, their child is adorable (the baby is not quite 2) and it has changed their life tremendously in the best way.

+1. I know someone as well. In her case, she thought she was no longer able to have children, and it was a surprise. Baby is completely healthy. She is a youngish 50 - very fit and full of energy. OP - if you are healthy and have enough money - then do it. Kids are the best thing that ever happened to me and bring me so much joy.

[Anonymous]

All of these people talking about assisted living facilities - my grandfather is 91 and still living on his own. He said he is starting to feel like he has less strength, but still cooks, drives, goes shopping on his own. My 77 year old neighbor still rides his bike on the trail and is more active than my DH. My gym is full of fit active old people. Even my out of shape, 81 year old MIL is still fine living on her own and is as sharp as ever.

[Anonymous]

If this was a guy asking, no one would bat an eye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this was a guy asking, no one would bat an eye.

A man does not have a uterus.

[Anonymous]

The thing is, it doesn't really matter how young you feel. Your reproductive system and hormone levels are not what they were. The odds of the baby having health issues are pretty high. That would be my biggest misgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of these people talking about assisted living facilities - my grandfather is 91 and still living on his own. He said he is starting to feel like he has less strength, but still cooks, drives, goes shopping on his own. My 77 year old neighbor still rides his bike on the trail and is more active than my DH. My gym is full of fit active old people. Even my out of shape, 81 year old MIL is still fine living on her own and is as sharp as ever.

still not the norm.

My FIL and mother have/had dementia early 80s.

My MIL died at 90, multiple strokes in the past 5 years.

My father is 90 and is fairly healthy. But, he's an outlier.

The problem with having a baby that late is that you are burdening your child with elder care just when they are starting out. Not to mention the embarrassment of having such an old mom when the child is school aged.

-signed a 53 yr old who had her kids at 35 and 38.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sofia Vergara is right: 51 is too damned old.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the same, definitely selfish, and bad idea.
And 36 is way different than 51. Sheesh. Get a puppy.

How is 36 different than 51? Most architects graduate in their 20’s.

And so 36 is non-trad student.

Except you know, a child. An actual living human being.

[Anonymous]

How healthy are you?
How much money do you have?
Do you have a support system?
Do you have someone who would like to raise the child if you pass? Anecdotally, I have an acquaintance who ended up, after raising her own kids, acquiring a couple of kids after the death of a single family member, and she's not happy about it but couldn't let them go to foster care either. It seems like a lose-lose for the kids.

[Anonymous]

One of the local sports executives had a baby at 60+, he had a younger wife so the health of the mother wasn't an issue. But imagine trying to raise a teenager in your 70s? I noted that his wife can drop him off at memory care when taking the kid to college.

[Anonymous]

Adopt a kid?