Baby at 51?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who had a baby on her own (using DE) at 50. Kid is 3. She seems like she is loving life.

[Anonymous]

Yes, a baby at 51 is completely ridiculous. And you will be judged.

Adopt if you want another or a child

[Anonymous]

I'd be less concerned about what society thought of me and more concerned about what it would mean for that child to have such an old parent. Even if you manage to get through the baby and toddler years, your child would be 15 years old with a 66 year old mother, or 20 years old with a 71 year old mother. That child is either going to go through most of their life without a parent because you'll be dead or they'll have to worry about caring for an elderly parent when they are still in college or a young adult. Why would you potentially saddle your child with that? Not to mention that unless you're independently wealthy or plan on working until you die, how do you plan on paying for a child, including college, when you'll be on a fixed income?

So yes, it's incredibly selfish.

[Anonymous]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

OP, you will be judged either way! Make the choice based on whether you are healthy and financially strong enough to care for a child at 51. Make sure you have a back up plan in the event that anything happens to you or spouse/partner if you have one.

[Anonymous]

I would not discount the strong possibility that if you conceive, the child's health may suffer due to your advanced age. Do you have the energy to keep up with all that goes into raising a child who may have serious challenges? And then the concern of what would happen to the child after you're gone. That would eat away at me.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who did it at 50, their child is adorable (the baby is not quite 2) and it has changed their life tremendously in the best way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who did it at 50, their child is adorable (the baby is not quite 2) and it has changed their life tremendously in the best way.

PS this person moved closer to their hometown and family who have embraced them with open arms and are providing much help. They have a loving and supportive family and village.

[Anonymous]

Almost everything humans do is selfish. Having a kid at any age is arguably selfish. So it’s really about whether you can live with not having tried.

I think you can be super super happy without kids but it’s up to you!!

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I adopted a baby when I was just shy of 49 and he was 51. It is the best thing we ever did but it is not easy and my husband is involved. It sounds like you are single. I wouldn't do it on my own. Also, 51 would likely require lots of medical intervention which is expensive and not covered by insurance.

My friend's mom was 54 when she adopted as a single mother. She raised my friend well. She exposed her to arts, culture, travel, music, etc. She passed recently. My friend is 38 and had more years with her mom than I had with mine, who was 25 when I was born and died before she turned 50.

[Anonymous]

I have older parents (dad was 50 when I was born). Don’t do this to a child. I spent my childhood worrying my dad was going to die because of his age-related health issues. Now I’m raising small kids while he is end of life. Do not do it.

[Anonymous]

A whole host of health problems can suddenly arise as you get older. I’m 53 and suddenly developed chronic back pain 5 years ago. It had left me depleted. My kids are 13 and 16yo so fortunately and fortunately my husband picks up much of the slack.

[Anonymous]

I would do it. Later is better than never!
You will definitely regret it in old age.
It helps if you have older children who can share the burden of you aging, but even if you don’t, just go for it OP.

[Anonymous]

Keep it on pause, if you still feel like this after 10 years, then yes go for it! You can do it girl!! @@## society!!

[Anonymous]

Foster to adopt. It would be very difficult and costly to get pregnant at 51. You can certainly try but odds are against you.